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The Grinch Who Patented Christmas

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the in-the-future-everything-will-be-patented dept.

theodp writes "The USPTO has reversed its earlier rejection and notified Amazon that the patent application for CEO Jeff Bezos' invention, Coordinating Delivery of a Gift, has been examined and is allowed for issuance as a patent. BTW, Amazon was represented before the USPTO by Perkins Coie, who also supplied Bezos with legal muscle in his personal fight against zoning laws that threatened to curb the size of his Medina mansion (reg.) before the City of Medina eventually gave up on regulating the size of homes (reg.)."

12 of 207 comments (clear)

  1. Next up... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    A patent on coordinating the erection of a tree for holiday purposes...

    1. Re:Next up... by FLEB · · Score: 5, Funny

      The time is not to make fun of the patent system in general. It is the right time to call for reform in the United States.

      Can't we do both?

      --
      Information wants to be free.
      Entertainment wants to be paid.
      You just want to be cheap.
  2. The zoning laws by Popageorgio · · Score: 4, Funny

    were actually about his Santa-killing spiked chimney.

  3. Oh great... by gmezero · · Score: 2, Funny

    Yet another way for cam girls to get presents without exposing their address.

  4. Bwahahahaha! by DanielMarkham · · Score: 3, Funny

    I've actually patented the opening of gifts. So take that, Bezos!

    Things are heating up!

  5. Entrapment by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Seller: "Where's it going?"

    Undercover patent police: "Melbourne"

    Seller: "That's in Australia isn't it?"

    UPP: "I'm really not sure..."

    Seller: "Okay, I'll just check on the map..."

    UPP: "Got you, you evil evil patent infringer."

    1. Re:Entrapment by ViX44 · · Score: 5, Funny

      ...and out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
      I grabed my binoculars to see what's the matter.
      A bunch of gov agents, dressed in blue and in white,
      Wrangled that criminal and locked him up tight.
      "What's happinging to me, what wrong did I do?"
      In IP-law America, patents file you!

  6. hardwood by krumms · · Score: 1, Funny

    ... so ... what you're trying to say is ... trees can get erections?

  7. Re:Return of the classic by earthbound+kid · · Score: 2, Funny
    Good ol' Stalin* defence. I haven't seen this one for a while.

    Amazon isn't as bad as Stalin*, therefore Amazon is good in every possible way.

    *feel free to replace Stalin with anything else that is generally bad


    Hey, the Stalin defense isn't as bad as Amazon's One Click Patent, therefore the Stalin defense is good in every possible way!
  8. Re:Isn't this obvious by houghi · · Score: 2, Funny

    on the Internet. Just add those and everything old is new again as far as they're concerned.

    Now I understand your signature.

    --
    Don't fight for your country, if your country does not fight for you.
  9. Very Appropriate Sig by PetoskeyGuy · · Score: 4, Funny

    At the bottom of this article, nicely sums up my view of things. :)

    What we need is either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.

  10. Re:Move to Mexico by crucini · · Score: 2, Funny
    The FSF should try to patent many of the key things that McDonalds, Chrysler, Disney, and NBC do, and start fucking *everyone else* over

    You can only patent new things. If you can come up with a business method that isn't used yet, you may be able to patent it.