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Why I Hate the Apache Web Server

Posted by Zonk on from the feel-the-hate-flow-through-you dept.

schon writes "Today's the last day of ApacheCon Europe; There was a hilarious presentation entitled 'Why I Hate the Apache Web Server' for anyone who has expressed frustration with the various inconsistencies and nuances of the Internet's favourite config file. And yes, it includes a comparison to Sendmail."

28 of 558 comments (clear)

  1. Why I hate PDFs by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    OK, so this is a PDF file that looks like a Powerpoint presentation and it is about how much he hates Apache. *head explodes*

    Here is a html version, I doubt it will stay cached for very long though.

    1. Re:Why I hate PDFs by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny


      ...and you're probably reading it with Acrobat under Wine in Linux in a vmware session. Ouch.

  2. A 666KB PDF... by Virak · · Score: 5, Funny

    Coincidence? I think not!

    1. Re:A 666KB PDF... by Rosco+P.+Coltrane · · Score: 3, Funny

      You know, after a few tens of thousands of hits from /., his server will be damned to hell, so it's fitting.

      --
      "A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
    2. Re:A 666KB PDF... by bhadreshl · · Score: 2, Funny

      Its actually 682,086 bytes.

  3. Re:Whoops by inKubus · · Score: 4, Funny

    Yeah, I think they will find some new reasons to hate Apache in about 3 minutes...

    Coral Cache of the PDF...

    --
    Cool! Amazing Toys.
  4. Re:Whoops by bersl2 · · Score: 4, Funny

    That's funny; I though it was entitled "Why I love xpdf." I wonder what could have given me such a strange notion...

  5. Pony by dg41 · · Score: 3, Funny
    Nice touch with the pony bit.

    "Not yours."

  6. News for nerds by ShieldW0lf · · Score: 4, Funny

    News for Nerds

    Wow, you ain't fuckin kidding, are ya?

    --
    -1 Uncomfortable Truth
  7. Comic Sans by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    aaargh

  8. Re:Christ, stop complaining about the PDF by sockonafish · · Score: 4, Funny

    I rescind my earlier statement. That's a really bad PDF. If PDFs were a food, that PDF would be shit-stewed haggis.

  9. wahahahaha by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    MS Comic font

    Credibility--

  10. Re:Those PDF's again... aaargh by grub · · Score: 2, Funny


    ... or goatse links.

    --
    Trolling is a art,
  11. Wow, beautiful by legLess · · Score: 4, Funny

    I love Apache, but in the same way I love my wife: with some trepidation. Fast and stable, flexible and reliable, but make one little syntax error and you can lose your ass.

    --
    This isn't as much "normalization" as it is "don't take so many drugs when you're designing tables."
    1. Re:Wow, beautiful by sootman · · Score: 2, Funny

      "...but make one little syntax error and you can lose your ass."

      Like yelling "Oh, (not your wife's name)!" at the wrong moment?

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      Dear Slashdot: next time you want to mess with the site, add a rich-text editor for comments.
  12. Comic Sans is..... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    NOT A FONT. ok? Repeat after me, Comic Sans Is Not a Font! In 1995 Microsoft released the font Comic Sans originally designed for comic book style talk bubbles containing informational help text. Since that time the typeface has been used in countless contexts from restaurant signage to college exams to medical information. These widespread abuses of printed type threaten to erode the very foundations upon which centuries of typographic history are built. While we recognize the font may be appropriate in a few specific instances, our position is that the only effective means of ending this epidemic of abuse is to completely ban Comic Sans. http://bancomicsans.com/home.html

    1. Re:Comic Sans is..... by CheeseTroll · · Score: 2, Funny

      What a great site!

      There was a person who once worked on my team who used Comic Sans for *everything*, including technical documentation. Drove me nuts. Of course, this same person's favorite character in SW Episode I was - you guessed it - Jar Jar Binks. "He's so funny!" Ugh.

      --
      A post a day keeps productivity at bay.
  13. Troll Time! by TiggertheMad · · Score: 2, Funny

    This whole thread is about a humorous troll (I rtfa. Yeah, I know that is verboten here...), so in the spirit of the author's PDF, I offer you a cheeky response:

    They ALWAYS lock up the browser and force a ctrl-alt-del to shut it down.

    Not if you use a good OS, like Windows. (ducks)

    --

    HA! I just wasted some of your bandwidth with a frivolous sig!
  14. Why I hate the Apache Web Server by dfn5 · · Score: 4, Funny
    The reason I hate the Apache Web Server is that it lacks a right click properties and I can't start it with the press of a "play" button.

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    -- Thou hast strayed far from the path of the Avatar.
    1. Re:Why I hate the Apache Web Server by Mattintosh · · Score: 4, Funny

      Umm... Were you born that wrong, or did you learn your ways over time?

      Install Apache (1.3 or 2.0) on Windows sometime. If you open up Computer Management (quite possibly the best and maybe even the only good feature of Windows) and go to the Services section, you'll find Apache in the list. Select it. Now, at the top of the window, there's a button with a "play" arrow. Click it. Wow! Apache started! Next to that, there's a "stop" square. Next is a "pause" double bar. Last in line is a "restart" square/arrow combo. All of these work with Apache.

      Another poster mentioned the Apache Service Monitor tool. It's handy if you have more than one server around, since it lets you control them remotely without hassle. It too has the start/stop/restart buttons.

      And again, on Windows... Look in your Start menu. Apache creates a program group during installation that contains a Control Apache Server folder, in which you'll find some batch files... One for Stop Apache Server, one for Start Apache Server, and one for Restart Apache Server.

      There are plenty of "stupid" ways of running apachectl -whatever in Windows. But only the first one above allows you to right click and go to properties. And guess what you find in that properties window... Yeah. [Start] [Stop] [Pause] [Resume] - More buttons. But only stupid newbies would use those, right?

      (Before you reply to this assuming that I'm serious, I'd like to present you with a gift: A nice, shiny, new electric sarcasm carving knife.)

  15. Re:God help me.... by publius_ovidius · · Score: 2, Funny

    "abends"? My God, man! How old are you? Sheesh. I haven't heard that term since I worked on mainframes.

    Wait ... how old am I?

  16. Re:Those PDF's again... aaargh by adamjaskie · · Score: 2, Funny

    Well, it's better than an MS Word document, I guess.

    --
    /usr/games/fortune
  17. Re:Christ, stop complaining about the PDF by Baloo+Ursidae · · Score: 4, Funny

    Hey! Don't knock the haggis! Instead, knock something that really *is* shit stewed, like Jack in the Box. They've had 12 E. coli outbreaks that I can remember in 10 years, and that's only counting locations near me...

    --
    Help us build a better map!
  18. Re:Whoops by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Of course it is. It's Anonymous Coward's law (I just named it after myself): the quality of an application is inversely proportional to the number of clients that are dependent on that application.

  19. Evil PDF by clickster · · Score: 2, Funny

    Anyone else notice that the PDF's file size is 666 KB?

    --
    If you mod me down, I shall become less powerful than you could possibly imagine.
  20. Re:Thanks for the laugh and the PDF by http · · Score: 2, Funny

    I say we call the next release of apache that addresses any of these concerns the 'Appaloosa' web server, then.

    --
    If opportunity came disguised as temptation, one knock would be enough.
    3^2 * 67^1 * 977^1
  21. Re:Whoops by arose · · Score: 2, Funny

    No, it was supposed to read, "Why I hate Comic Sans."

    --
    Analogies don't equal equalities, they are merely somewhat analogous.
  22. Re:is this the internet ? by sapgau · · Score: 2, Funny

    God I don't understand what the whole issue is about opening up a PDF.

    I started reading the thread to hear other people's experiences with Apache and all I'm reading is this goddam issue with PDFs.

    I don't get it. Am I an idiot or geekdom is having a period?