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Why I Hate the Apache Web Server

Posted by Zonk on from the feel-the-hate-flow-through-you dept.

schon writes "Today's the last day of ApacheCon Europe; There was a hilarious presentation entitled 'Why I Hate the Apache Web Server' for anyone who has expressed frustration with the various inconsistencies and nuances of the Internet's favourite config file. And yes, it includes a comparison to Sendmail."

13 of 558 comments (clear)

  1. Why I hate PDFs by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    OK, so this is a PDF file that looks like a Powerpoint presentation and it is about how much he hates Apache. *head explodes*

    Here is a html version, I doubt it will stay cached for very long though.

  2. A 666KB PDF... by Virak · · Score: 5, Funny

    Coincidence? I think not!

    1. Re:A 666KB PDF... by Rosco+P.+Coltrane · · Score: 3, Funny

      You know, after a few tens of thousands of hits from /., his server will be damned to hell, so it's fitting.

      --
      "A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
  3. Re:Whoops by inKubus · · Score: 4, Funny

    Yeah, I think they will find some new reasons to hate Apache in about 3 minutes...

    Coral Cache of the PDF...

    --
    Cool! Amazing Toys.
  4. Re:Whoops by bersl2 · · Score: 4, Funny

    That's funny; I though it was entitled "Why I love xpdf." I wonder what could have given me such a strange notion...

  5. Pony by dg41 · · Score: 3, Funny
    Nice touch with the pony bit.

    "Not yours."

  6. News for nerds by ShieldW0lf · · Score: 4, Funny

    News for Nerds

    Wow, you ain't fuckin kidding, are ya?

    --
    -1 Uncomfortable Truth
  7. Re:Christ, stop complaining about the PDF by sockonafish · · Score: 4, Funny

    I rescind my earlier statement. That's a really bad PDF. If PDFs were a food, that PDF would be shit-stewed haggis.

  8. Wow, beautiful by legLess · · Score: 4, Funny

    I love Apache, but in the same way I love my wife: with some trepidation. Fast and stable, flexible and reliable, but make one little syntax error and you can lose your ass.

    --
    This isn't as much "normalization" as it is "don't take so many drugs when you're designing tables."
  9. Comic Sans is..... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    NOT A FONT. ok? Repeat after me, Comic Sans Is Not a Font! In 1995 Microsoft released the font Comic Sans originally designed for comic book style talk bubbles containing informational help text. Since that time the typeface has been used in countless contexts from restaurant signage to college exams to medical information. These widespread abuses of printed type threaten to erode the very foundations upon which centuries of typographic history are built. While we recognize the font may be appropriate in a few specific instances, our position is that the only effective means of ending this epidemic of abuse is to completely ban Comic Sans. http://bancomicsans.com/home.html

  10. Why I hate the Apache Web Server by dfn5 · · Score: 4, Funny
    The reason I hate the Apache Web Server is that it lacks a right click properties and I can't start it with the press of a "play" button.

    --
    -- Thou hast strayed far from the path of the Avatar.
    1. Re:Why I hate the Apache Web Server by Mattintosh · · Score: 4, Funny

      Umm... Were you born that wrong, or did you learn your ways over time?

      Install Apache (1.3 or 2.0) on Windows sometime. If you open up Computer Management (quite possibly the best and maybe even the only good feature of Windows) and go to the Services section, you'll find Apache in the list. Select it. Now, at the top of the window, there's a button with a "play" arrow. Click it. Wow! Apache started! Next to that, there's a "stop" square. Next is a "pause" double bar. Last in line is a "restart" square/arrow combo. All of these work with Apache.

      Another poster mentioned the Apache Service Monitor tool. It's handy if you have more than one server around, since it lets you control them remotely without hassle. It too has the start/stop/restart buttons.

      And again, on Windows... Look in your Start menu. Apache creates a program group during installation that contains a Control Apache Server folder, in which you'll find some batch files... One for Stop Apache Server, one for Start Apache Server, and one for Restart Apache Server.

      There are plenty of "stupid" ways of running apachectl -whatever in Windows. But only the first one above allows you to right click and go to properties. And guess what you find in that properties window... Yeah. [Start] [Stop] [Pause] [Resume] - More buttons. But only stupid newbies would use those, right?

      (Before you reply to this assuming that I'm serious, I'd like to present you with a gift: A nice, shiny, new electric sarcasm carving knife.)

  11. Re:Christ, stop complaining about the PDF by Baloo+Ursidae · · Score: 4, Funny

    Hey! Don't knock the haggis! Instead, knock something that really *is* shit stewed, like Jack in the Box. They've had 12 E. coli outbreaks that I can remember in 10 years, and that's only counting locations near me...

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