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Skype's Sale As Media Feint
ansak writes "Bob Cringely's latest article shows evidence that some aspects of the 90s bubble are indeed back: Why would Rupert Murdoch think of paying $3billion for a mostly free online service like Skype? But his last line shows a keen understanding of Murdoch's skills and methods: 'By putting Skype in play, he distracts for no money at all most of the major media companies. And while they try to figure out how to respond to VoIP, old Rupert will be attacking them on some completely other front. He'll be stealing their shoes.'"
This is NOT my response to the oh-so-dull and typical flame-wars regarding whether the Java or Perl programming language is "best". I have an opinion on that, but that's not what this is about. This is about how I picture the development process of each of those fine desktop products.
Warning to readers: this is mildly offensive, however it's not particularly obscene, for most values of obscene. On a flame-o-riffic scale of one to ten, it rates about a seventy-three.
When I contemplate how the Java and Perl desktops are developed, here is what I imagine:
Java
----
An army barracks in the UK where everything is crisp and clear-cut, with an army-style sense of order and sense. The computers and tables are arranged vertically in rows like a workhouse fashion, and each developer is made to wear a full uniform.
There may be a few spots of dust here and there, but if they are noticed by the officers in charge, every developer has to do push-ups until they die. At this point, they are brought back to life by the ressurection techniques which always work and never fail, and the spot of dust is then cleaned up before being noticed again.
All the developers are hugely muscular to the point of having bulging biceps and large packages. Any weedy developers are quicky gassed in the chambers at the facility.
Every once in a while, the army general will come along to the compilation box, to find that the compilation command has been typed out for him and is awaiting his next command. Everyone stands and salutes as the general then smashes his finger through the enter key to start compilation. He then breaks down in tears as he watches Java compile perfectly, which it has done from the start of time, and they all have a bug chaser party to celebrate.
If for some reason Java does not compile, there are gas buttons all over the facility available for use, which the general is authorised to use in case of emergency. These have never been used.
Perl
----
A funhouse at a fairground where there is sick all over the floor and graffiti covering the walls. The developers are kids aged between 9 and 12 with sticky hands and mouths after eating an exorberant amount of sweets and candy floss.
All their teeth have rotted away, and every one of them has ADHD and diabetes. There is cum all over the walls and floors as none of the children can actually be bothered to code, and resort to touching their junk in a spurious manner.
None of these kids have ever developed anything in their life, and anyone can come in and code for Perl. The funhouse has many sections including a bouncy castle and a rotating tube.
All of these devices serve as inspiration for Perl, as well as the smell coming from the sick on the floor which can be seen splashing about when the bouncy castle is used.
Compilation of Perl has only happened a few times when all the kids have a candy floss eating contest and then have a sugar rush. They then sit down at the puke covered computers of which only a quarter work to type random stuff until more stuff happens in a fit of ecstasy until they pass out.
There is an insane clown who stands on a podium in the middle of the computer room to make sure that all the code is extremely poor in quality. The clown holds his cock all the time for no reason, while carefully watching the children.
By putting Skype in play, he distracts for no money at all most of the major media companies.
I've only been speaking English for 23 years--I took the first year off. But I must ask, what in the hell does that sentence mean?
Cringely fucks men. His "punditry" is devoid of insight or cleverness.
C'mon, folks.... why are we still linking to cringely? Hasn't he proven, time and time again, that his writing are always just crazy paranoid rants? I don't need to read the article to know that, and linking to him just encourages this behavior.
I never heard of this douchbag outside of slashdot. He's not well respected or well read.
So, whats the scoop?
Also, anyone notice we dont see no more Roland Picopeels stories now that Sims is gone.
I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
Before you talk to Rupert, why not quietly
license Skype's source code under -another-
name as OSS, so as to preclude loss of the
Skype tradition & to give the OSS communi-
ty the chance to finish the job or at least
extract the Skype protocols & create some
-interoperable- software.