Computer Analyst Wins Best Worst Writing Contest

pmadden writes "Dan McKay, a friend from years ago, has won a prestigious literary award. I've enjoyed technical manuals over the years, but never like this. Who would have guessed that such great writing would come from the grad of a small technical school."

Comments

I NEVER THOUGHT

[cathouse]

that anyone tried to write the way I was always criticized mfor.

Dear Dan McKay

[Fastball]

I am a literary agent. I recently read your novella, "Ample Bosom," and I think it is a smash! Your talent for the mammary gland-carburetor metaphor leaps off of the page! I want to represent you. Please call the number below at your earliest convenience...

Oh, he's talented

[WickedClean]

I'm sure Hollywood is calling right now. I wonder if this is where the studios recruit some of their screenwriters.

Thats

[JustOK]

Computer person badly writes? Unpossible.

Exhaust

[confusion]

Wonder what he would have to say about the exhaust manifold?

jerry
http://www.cyvin.org/

Can it be 'worst' if intentionally so?

[guynorton]

The competition's title should be changed to 'Best parody of bad literature'.

Most of the entries I have read are funny, and intentionally so because they are parodying bad writing. Unless their parody fails in the most abysmal way I dont see how it qualifies as bad prose. For writing to qualify as bad, terrible or 'worst' it should be unwittingly so.

Disappointing

[kongjie]

As an English major from way back, I have been aware of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest for some time but never looked into the complete results.

My first reaction after seeing the 2005 results pages is that if the people who run this thing want to keep it going, they might invest a little more design thought into their work. Yes, even though they only do it out of love and don't get a nickel for it.

My second feeling is, despite the burden of reading a lot more bad prose, they should go back to a paragraph rather than a sentence. Many of the entries of note were more silly than really horrible and I think requiring the writer to write a coherent paragraph would produce better (erm, I mean worse) results.

By the way, if you want more info on the history of the contest, go to the the Bulwer-Lytton home page .

Re:Dark and Stormy...

[swilde23]

I was a little confused as well. Being in the Engineering department, I don't venture over to the English side of things. However, wikipedia seems to clear things up.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Bulwer-Lytton, _1st_Baron_Lytton

His name lives on in the annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, in which contestants have to supply the openings of terrible (imaginary) novels, inspired by his novel Paul Clifford, which opens with the famous words:

"It was a dark and stormy night"

or to give the sentence in its full glory:

"It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents--except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness."

The shorter form of the opening sentence was popularized by the Peanuts comic strip. Snoopy's sessions with the typewriter usually began with it. Entrants in the contest seek to capture the rapid changes in point of view, the florid language, and the atmosphere of the full sentence.

Uber geek?

[Jugalator]

As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual.

As he read this brilliant description, in bright red letters against a background as white as the purest of snow, to make his eyes ache slightly from the strain, a creeping thought slowly approached him much like a stalker of Natalie Portman, and as the thought materialized in his head, it told him -- "wow, he thinks exactly like a Slashdotter".

Bulwer-Lytton

[adam1101]

Ah, yes, the Bulwer-Lytton contest. The challenge is to write the worst novel opening line you can think of. As most entries tend to be rather long, there is also a Lyttle Lytton contest limited to 25 word, with classics as

In 3010, the potatoes triumphed.

and the latest winner

John, surfing, said to his mother, surfing beside him, "How do you like surfing?"

Re:And speaking of bad writing ...

[Beryllium Sphere(tm)]

Headers are an appropriate follow-on to carburetors...

Re:Does he mean Strombergs, or SUs?

[seanadams.com]

Here's a pic of the SU carbs:

http://www.vord.net/cars/mgb_mods/engine/weber500- carburetor.htm