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Former Health Secretary Pushes for VeriChip Implants

Posted by CowboyNeal on from the getting-under-your-skin dept.

An anonymous reader writes "Tommy Thompson, the former Bush Health Secretary after implanting a chip into himself, is going to submit a proposal within the next 50 days to promote it for everyone in the USA. VeriChip spokesperson John Procter said 'virtually everyone could benefit from having a chip inserted.' Enjoy your assimilation in the land of the free, citizen."

13 of 638 comments (clear)

  1. Company spokesman endorses own product by The+Hobo · · Score: 3, Funny

    In other news, umbrella manufacturer thinks everyone could benefit from an umbrella.

    Film at eleven.

    --
    There is another kind of evil which we must fear most, and that is the indifference of good men. -- Boondock Saints
    1. Re:Company spokesman endorses own product by Senjutsu · · Score: 4, Funny

      In other news, umbrella manufacturer thinks everyone could benefit from an umbrella.

      If they're only thinking that, they're doing it wrong. They should be paying off some dumb-ass politician so that he can introduce legislation mandating that everyone has to buy an UmbrellaCo brand umbrella.

  2. Only if it includes DRM by liquid+stereo · · Score: 5, Funny

    I want my freedom restricted.

  3. Too easy by AndroidCat · · Score: 5, Funny

    I know where spokesperson John Procter can insert his chip!

    --
    One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
  4. My RFID is blinking red.... by Nick+of+NSTime · · Score: 3, Funny

    Will I be renewed?

    1. Re:My RFID is blinking red.... by pyrrhonist · · Score: 3, Funny

      That Red's gonna run, I can always tell.

      --
      Show me on the doll where his noodly appendage touched you.
  5. "We finally got it right" by Loundry · · Score: 5, Funny

    "We've been working on this for years, it almost feels like an eternity," quipped thompson while lighting a cigar. "It took us 665 iterations before we feel like we got it right. Now we think everyone should have it. Now."

    --
    I don't make the rules. I just make fun of them.
  6. Way ahead of you! by jfengel · · Score: 3, Funny

    I've been wearing my stylish tin-foil hat to keep the mind-control rays OUT. Fortunately, this flexible and fashionable garment also serves to keep RF identifiers IN.

    And if they decide to plant the chip in a more sensitive place, my tin-foil cup has been protecting my precious bodily fluids for years.

    (Yes, I know that RFIDs respond to outside RF, not generate it themselves. The gag is funnier my way. Relax.)

  7. Yeah... by kc0re · · Score: 3, Funny

    But does it run Linux? Could you imagine a Beowolf Cluster of Humans? Wow.

  8. I can see it now... by lendude · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...it'll be called "The Freedom Chip".

    --
    "Get off the cross - we need the wood" - Tori Amos
  9. Re:Medical Purposes Only by RailGunner · · Score: 3, Funny
    This will be introduced as optional and quickly become as voluntary as credit cards, drivers licenses, and cell phones. Sure, you can opt-out of these, but you will never be accepted at a job that requires them.

    Now where have I heard that before?

    "He also forced everyone, small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on his right hand or on his forehead so that no one could buy or sell unless he had the mark, which is the name of the beast or the number of his name. This calls for wisdom. If anyone has insight, let him calculate the number of the beast, for it is man's number. His number is 666" (Rev. 13:16-18).

  10. Re:No way. by elwin_windleaf · · Score: 4, Funny
    I can just see the future Slashdot headline...

    "VeriChip and Ruffles join, create new RFID 'chip'"

  11. Re:Disgusting by penix1 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Besides, it is "Dr. Seuss" not "Dr. Zeus". One is the author of children's books the other I presume is the doctor of the gods...

    B.

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