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Jerk-O-Meter to Meter Jerks
prostoalex writes "The Jerk-o-Meter from MIT will analyze voice patterns of phone conversations and display a relative value of jerkiness factor on the scale of 0 to 100. For now, the Jerk-O-Meter is set up to monitor the user's end of the conversation. If his attention is straying, a message pops up on the phone that warns, 'Don't be a jerk!' or 'Be a little nicer now.' A score closer to 100 percent would prompt, 'Wow, you're a smooth talker.'"
Attach the device to both sides of the phone and include in your company policy: "The consultant is free to hang up when the jerkometer shows the customer has reached 75 jerk points. In case the jerkometer detects above 75 points on the consultant side, you're being automatically forwarded to higher level tech support, and any charge for this session is being cancelled."
Anagram("United States of America") == "Dine out, taste a Mac, fries"
Well... actually... http://web.mit.edu/newsoffice/2005/nanocell.html
They're getting closer.
Did you see the pool? They flipped the bitch!
Well, not necessarily. There are basically 4 groups of customers:
- With a clue, nice. They ask you a specific question and expect specific answer. Easy to deal with if you know your job. If you are a moron, jerkometer could work against you, deservedly. Few, pleasure to deal with if you have a clue. Usually people who have worked in user support.
- With a clue, jerks. They want more to unload their frustration than to have a problem fixed, and for example set you a task they found unsolvable earlier, trying to earn you "dissatisfied" ticket, etc. Not easy to get rid of. But if you're an ace, you'll beat them with their own weapon proving them they are morons after all. (say, give them a page number in the manual together with the answer to their "unsolvable".) Most of tech people that get frustrated with something that isn't directly your fault, but, say, your company's. Generally, pain in the ass but luckily few.
- Clueless, nice. Usually victims to support jerks - they are desperate to get help, and you are their last hope. They hate tech, but withstand the suffering quietly (sometimes with a smile) as you guide them through, and are grateful if you solve the problem. Difficult, challenging (sometimes in a painful way) but generally okay. Bunch of moms, secretaries, grandmothers, tech people new to given field etc.
- Clueless jerks. They think they know better, but they don't. So, you're in pain because even if you know the solution, they won't accept it and make it all as painful to you as they only can. These would be best filtered through the system. Less time wasted, better success ratio (they wouldn't count towards the success average) and if you're told by a machine that you're a jerk, you may rethink what you do.
Anagram("United States of America") == "Dine out, taste a Mac, fries"
"I just don't get dyslexia. I mean, you're an engineer, you need to be able to see and recognise complex specifications and long strings of numbers with extreme accuracy. What is so different from normal language use?"
That's kind of like asking someone with Down's Syndrome why he doesn't talk like most people. Dyslexia is a genetic and neurobiological problem. I have it myself, which is lots of fun when I'm on IRC, because when I type "teh" it's not because I'm trying to be funny.
I've trained myself to proofread everything I write very carefully (but like the OP, some things still get through occasionally). Words that I know how to spell (like "occasionally," coincidentally enough) end up being misspelled half the time anyway because of the dyslexia.
As for how he can do well in engineering with dyslexia...google is your friend. Apparently engineers have a high rate of dyslexia relative to other professions.