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Server Based Slots of the Future

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the no-i-said-slots-i-promise dept.

prostoalex writes "The slot machines of the future won't be dumb one-armed bandits anymore, CNet reports. New generation of slot machines, to be deployed in major Vegas casinos, will feature server-based gaming with games, new features and, most important, the odds being downloaded from a central server location, not determined by internal machine algorithm any more."

4 of 190 comments (clear)

  1. Safe and secure! by Savantissimo · · Score: 5, Funny

    Some cynics here may doubt the security of the system, but I'm sure none of the gaming vendors will hide any Easter eggs in their proprietary code. After all, if one can make software work reliably for something as complicated as counting votes, surely a simple application like a few hundred different kinds of casino games should be child's play to secure.

    --
    "Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery?" - Patrick Henry
  2. Official Slashdot Guide to Moderation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny
    Greeting fellow /.ers! I fear for my life, so I must make this brief.

    At 0730 today, myself and fellow soldier of fortune Luke Genitals infiltrated the Geek Compound. Our mission - the "Official Slashdot Guide to Moderation." We finally procured a copy of this document from a pile of S&M oriented pornography and left to meet up with our buyer. Things went bad at the drop, we got set up, and now I am being trailed by both the Yakuza and Cmdr. Taco. If I should not make it through the night, I want you to know the truth so my life was not lost in vain.

    My friends, I have seen unspeakable things at the Geek Compound. I can never forget the horrors I witnessed...horrors that no amount of money can undo. If I live I might share some, but I must first escape my present situation. Here is an electronic copy of the stolen document. I have burned the original and ingested the ashes so please spread this around. I regret nothing and we cannot allow the truth to be censored.

    Official Slashdot Guide to Moderation
    rev. 3 5/29/00
    by Cmdr. Taco


    Introduction - Welcome sir to the fine world of being a Slashdot moderator! In this document we shall attempt to explain the ins-and-outs of moderation via the 4 key issues of what we taught you while at the Geek Compound.

    1 - Physical Changes - When we took you under our wing, you were but a boy. Now you are a fine specimen of manly wonder! To mark this right of passage we have, as you already can tell, altered your physical body. Do not be alarmed at this, rather embrace these changed to allow you to serve Slashdot better.
    • The Humor Bypass
      The humor bypass is by far the most important part of moderation. Humor, sarcasm, and wit are not good things to possess and only hinder your job as a moderator. By use of our high radiation emitting CRTs we have atrophied the humor portion of your brain. This enables you to see through the juvenile behavior exhibited in many posts to the -1, Offtopic nature they actually are.

      Remember - Humor is evil! We have freed you from the bondage of laughter forever.
    • The Castration
      Yes, you have been emasculated. While the mere thought of this would normally be disgusting, we here at Slashdot will supply you enough LSD and Xanex so you do not have to worry about this. Sex, like humor, is an evil unnatural thing. With your mind free to think not of sex, you now have more time to serve Slashdot.

      And lets be honest here...you didn't really have a girlfriend regardless of what you told your friends. Embrace your asexual nature and let us frolic in the meadows as eunuchs, together!
    • The Branding
      Take a good look at your chest now. Does the "property of /." branded across your scant, underdeveloped chest not look good? I thought so.

      By displaying this brand to a clerk, you are eligible for 10% discounts at the following stores: K-Mart, Phil's Discount Liquor and Methamphetamine, and Slutty Sally's Steakhouse. Clothes, entertainment, and food - all bases seem to be covered ;)

    2 - Crack - Smoking crack is an integral part of moderation. We will provide you with an unlimited supply of crack rocks, pipes, and lighters. We find that smoking crack enables you to mark posts in the more PC and friendlier image Slashdot needs to present. While you may be opposed to drug use, you must smoke crack to moderate.

    As you might have seen on your visit to the Geek Compound, we have a large room devoted to crack manufacturing. Our well-trained Malaysian slaves convert raw cocaine into crack just for you! Do not worry about the addictive properties of cocaine as will provide you with more LSD and Xanex if crack addiction troubles you.

    Please note - This is not freebase! Freebase is dangerous to produce if ethyl ether is used. This is rock cocaine, aka

    1. Re:Official Slashdot Guide to Moderation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      Emad had been laying awake for about two hours. It was 10:00 AM and he had already missed two classes: Remedial Operating Systems - Linux and Diversity & Tolerance. Had Emad been totally awake he would have groaned. Today's Diversity & Tolerance class was teaching how to put condoms on erect penises, something right up Emad's alley. Well, at least the erect penis part; he knew nothing about condoms.

      Slowly, Emad lumbered out of bed. His joints ached. His head throbbed. What had happened the night before? He could feel dried feces in his pants and was pretty sure his asshole was ripped wide Oh! He remembered a little too suddenly as he almost tripped over a pile of spent whippits, several beer bottles, and a giant black 48" oil-filled dildo mounted on a chainsaw engine. He had had Michael Sims and CmdrTaco over last night for a "few cold ones" but it seemed that, par for the course, they had all ended up sharing a "few hots ones," ones being their euphemism for homosexual encounters.

      Emad made his way to the bathroom, and moaned. It was in complete disarray. The sink was filled with congealed diarrhea, the floor was sticky with drying piss, and the bathtub looked like a long-neglected water trough on a pig farm. It would take Emad hours to clean this mess. He tried hard to ignore the stench as he sauntered toward the toilet. Didn't Taco and Sims respect anything? Emad gave so much to them and their cause.

      Upon opening the lid on his broken toilet he saw the special gift Taco had left for him: An inhumanly giant turd. It had to be at least a foot and a half in length! Taco had been planning this one, as he saw unchewed peas, corn, and peanuts that all told the story of Rob Malda's special dinner the night before. The monster turd curled around the inside of his toilet. Not wanting to let Rob Malda's magical ass-gift go to waste, Emad reached inside the toilet and gently grasped the brown meat.

      Moaning, Emad began devouring the slimy but firm stool. He tasted the honey on the peanuts; he felt the peas pop as he chewed through the delicious crap-worm. His cock immediately sprang to life as he chomped down bite after bite of the mutant ass-birth. Could life get any better? Down to the last bit of his meal, he gagged and coughed. Needing to wash it all down quickly, Emad yanked his tiny Iranian dick and aimed upward, pissing hard, catching the golden rain in his mouth.

      After what seemed like a painful eternity, his bladder was empty and urine was running down his chin in rivulets. Emad, in the midst of his ecstacy, wondered. Could life get any better?

  3. Re:How secure? by timeOday · · Score: 4, Funny
    Could you plug your own cable in and pretend to be the server?
    Brilliant! You could win Internet blackjack the same way! Slight problem: since you're now playing your own, isolated game, you have to pay off your winnings, to yourself. Fun!