Speculations Intel's Next Generation

An anonymous reader writes "The Inquirer speculates about the next generation Intel chip. It's low power, 64 bit, multi core (up to 16?) and the real reason for the Apple switch."

Comments

Re:huh

[Anonymous Coward]

Dear Gentle Sir,

Thanks for expressing your concerns about your poop-covered dick. The last time I addressed Linux as a gateway to unhealthy practices such as faggotry and drug-use, I had a chance to warn my reader before it was too late. I'm sorry to see that with you, the situation is irreversible. I am glad you want to share your message, however, and to that I'll discuss your plight for others to see.

You didn't mention that you had been using Linux and Open Source, but I imagine it happened innocently enough at first. Perhaps you were the poor unknowing victim of a dirty zealot, such as ESR, or maybe it was just a quiet link to Slashdot that began your slide into Hell. The price of health is constant vigilance, but to the uninformed that's difficult. ESR and the Slashdot staff prey exactly upon such marks.

The bathhouse, the "White Swallow," was more of a dream-come-true to the predators than new Linux users know. Not a single participant in the raw anal gangbangs or semenistic orgies there spoke once about their terrible secrets and with good reason. That was their chance to have your forever, and it looks like they did just that. I can't imagine the feeling that washed over you when you discovered the terrible truth. I can only pray for your peace and that others never share that emotion.

My recommendation to you is to become an anti-Open Source zealot. Write essays and post them to Slashdot about the terrible secrets and conspiracies that the cock-lusting Open Source world harbors. Wear FreeBSD t-shirts, especially the one where the Beastie is fucking Tux up the ass (give it back to'em!). When you see a Linux "install party" happening, call the authorities immediately and tell them there's a filthy circle-jerk about to take place. Wear a mouth guard to prevent biting your pillow at night, one of the most embarassing side effects of Linux. Make sure you're running at least Windows if you can't get to a Mac. Using a proper OS is a must-- even though it's "too late" for you, you can still set an example.

I wish you luck as you begin your lonely journey down a road few travel. Hold your head high as you proceed, refusing to let Open Source claim another victim. They may have ruined your body, but they lose-- and we win-- inf your mind remains free to the end.

Best Wishes,
Anonymous Coward