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Google Plans To Destroy Unindexed Information

Posted by Zonk on from the bow-before-the-google-rays-pitiful-mortals dept.

linolium writes "Executives at Google, the rapidly growing online-search company that promises to 'organize the world's information,' announced Monday the latest step in their expansion effort: a far-reaching plan to destroy all the information it is unable to index. 'Book burning is just the beginning," said Google co-founder Larry Page. 'This fall, we'll unveil Google Sound, which will record and index all the noise on Earth. Is your baby sleeping soundly? Does your high-school sweetheart still talk about you? Google will have the answers.'" FYI; it's The Onion, so yes, it's a joke.

3 of 319 comments (clear)

  1. The Onion is now 'Stuff That Matters'? by Shayde · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Is this really worth a top post on Slashdot, that The Onion wrote a funny piece? It's sort of their standard fare - in fact, I'm beginning to feel like The Onion is doing a better job at putting togethe rinteresting articles than slashdot is.

    Planet-Geek

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  2. Plonk Zonk! by nuntius · · Score: 5, Insightful
    Consider a few of Zonk's messages for today:
    • Buy Antivirus for your cell phone
    • Why we should all love corporate Linux
    • MS supports good guys!
    • Why you need a new digital camera... and its not about picture quality.
    • Breaking story from America's Finest News Source.
    What do these have in common? Corporate cheer-leading, perhaps?

    I want news, not ads for nerds.

  3. Re:As if dupes weren't enough... by Evro · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Come on, the best way to ruin a joke completely is to say "HEY GUYS, THIS IS FUNNY! HAHAHA!" A tongue-in-cheek like this needs to be presented deadpan as Zonk did. The actual comic value of the joke itself is another matter, of course.

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    rooooar