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New IBM Ultra Fast Printer

avxo writes "CNN/Money is reporting on a new IBM printer, that can print Tolstoy's "War and Peace" in less than a minute, by delegating pagination to a separate unit." Fully loaded it runs a million bucks. Plus the 330 pages it can print in a single minute is probably triple the pages I printed so far in 2005. I'm probably not the target audience *grin*

18 of 277 comments (clear)

  1. Sure it can print out 330 pages a minute by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    But can YOU change ink that fast?

    1. Re:Sure it can print out 330 pages a minute by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      nevermind the ink, you have to feed it whole trees.

    2. Re:Sure it can print out 330 pages a minute by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      In Soviet Russia, "In Soviet Russia" joke in article that mentions a Russian expects YOU!

    3. Re:Sure it can print out 330 pages a minute by Foobar+of+Borg · · Score: 4, Funny

      In Soviet Russia, people telling In Soviet Russia jokes are taken out and shot in the town square.

  2. head spinning by Prophetic_Truth · · Score: 4, Funny

    can print Tolstoy's "War and Peace" in less than a minute........Plus the 330 pages it can print in a single minute is probably triple the pages I printed so far in 2005.

    War and Peace was only 330 pages?

    --
    time is a perception of a being's consciousness
    time is your 6th sense, the wierd ones are 7+
  3. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 5, Funny

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  4. Back before my day by jmichaelg · · Score: 5, Funny
    Back in the mid 60's my brother-in-law was in Naval Intelligence and got a plum posting at Pearl Harbor. They had an IBM line printer that churned out paper by printing entire lines at a time. The printer had a row of 132 wheels and each wheel had each character the printer could strike. To print an "A" in column 5, the 5th wheel would spin until an "A" was opposite the paper. When all 132 wheels were ready, the whole row of wheels would strike the paper. As you might imagine, it made quite a racket.

    Some naval geeks realized you could get it to play tunes by adjusting what it print to hit various notes and slewing various amounts of paper for tempo. Intelligence people tend to be musically inclined and these geeks were no exception. Lord knows how many hours they invested in tuning their instrument but word came down that an admiral was going to tour the computer room. When he walked in, they started up their synth and the printer started belting out Anchors Away. The admiral was suitably impressed. My brother-in-law was relieved the admiral didn't inspect the back of the printer where the output stack was because the paper didn't fold properly and as a result, paper was strewn all over.

  5. Re:oh goody by Psiren · · Score: 5, Funny

    I get enough junk mail, and the forests of our planet dont need anothe reason to be cut down.

    You're right of course. Maybe if they could find some other way to send out this marketing material. Some means of sending it electronically perhaps...

  6. A Printer for Google Boys by Sundroid · · Score: 2, Funny

    This CNN article also says that the new IBM printer will lighten your wallet by $1 million dollars, although you can buy a "cheap starter" model for $500,000.

    There is a report at Silicon Beat (http://www.siliconbeat.com/entries/2005/09/09/my_ jets_pretty_big_how_big_is_yours.html) that says the Google founders, Sergey Brin and Larry Page, are buying a Boeing 767 jet for their personal transportation. Perhaps they can install this printer on board to print their own Google Library books.

  7. pulp friction by moviepig.com · · Score: 2, Funny
    ...the 330 pages it can print in a single minute...

    Called the Termite 2000, it can conveniently be backed-up against any nearby forest...

    --
    Seeing bad movies only encourages them. Watch responsibly
  8. Re:So much for the paperless office by RAMMS+EIN · · Score: 4, Funny

    So? Don't you think an office is going to run out of paper pretty fast using this baby? There you go!

    --
    Please correct me if I got my facts wrong.
  9. Re:oh goody by Bastian · · Score: 3, Funny

    Well, you can always use your unsolicited mail from some companies to harass other companies by stuffing it into the pre-paid envelopes they like to send you.

  10. how much time by WormholeFiend · · Score: 1, Funny

    to print one million dollars?

    the summary doesn't say...

  11. Typical Printer Business Model by neildiamond · · Score: 4, Funny

    Oooh they lure you in with a cheap printer and THEN nail you with the ink/toner costs.

    Oh yeah IBM... I'm gonna buy your $500,000 printer and then go to a 3rd party toner provider!
    That'll show you!

  12. Re:oh goody by bombadier_beetle · · Score: 4, Funny

    I work at a junkmail factory

    Die. I didn't RTFA, but

    Die, die, DIE!

    --

    If you mod me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.
  13. Re:oh goody by AnomaliesAndrew · · Score: 2, Funny

    :-D

    Hey, I actually get about 4 of our "product" every week myself. I throw them all away immediately, unless there's damage to it (like the flap didn't stay closed) -- then I take them into our QC dept. I hate junk mail just as much as the next guy. I can't even get my name off the lists. I'd say at the very least, 10% of your mainstream magazine subscription solicitations, credit card applications, and additional financial services (like unemployment protection or credit rating protection w/e) come from my company. I know, it's sad. But I gotta make a living.

    I really don't have much to do with the junkmail itself -- I just write inventory and invoicing and management software for them, and bridge third party applications into the mix, making it all more efficient. I consider myself about as guilty of as an iron ore miner is in the gun industry.

    I can handle the junkmail. Having to deal with USPS employees every day... that's a completely different story.

    -@

    --
    Move all sig!
  14. Ouch... by TheLink · · Score: 3, Funny

    Death by papercuts...

    Double plus ungood.

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  15. Famous quote! by spineboy · · Score: 4, Funny

    To err is human, but to really fsck up requires a computer.

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    ..........FULL STOP.