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Missing Lab Mice Infected With Plague
Buford C Nuzzle-Chunks writes "PhysOrg is reporting that 'The FBI and New Jersey officials have started a hushed but intensive search for three missing lab mice reportedly infected with deadly strains of plague'. The Washington Post says it's not that big a deal, but I was dismayed at the PhysOrg article's quote from Richard Ebright, a Rutgers University microbiologist, about certain federal bio-terrorism labs: 'You have more security at a McDonald's than at some of these facilities.'"
Someone to build a better mousetrap!
Some settling may occur during posting.
... just as soon as we capture the last of these rage infected monkeys.
Athletic Scholarships to universities make as much sense as academic scholarships to sports teams.
"'You have more security at a McDonald's than at some of these facilities.'"
Given what they serve at McDonalds, thats probably a good thing. I'd rather take my chances with the mice.
Just build a McDonald's at each of these facilities... Boom! You have your security, and the burger joint has a fresh supply of ingredients on hand.
We're talking about New Jersey. I could understand being concerned if it was somewhere else, but New Jersey? This probably improves the environment and air quality there.
Three plagued mice, come on everybody sing along....... Three plagued mice.....
I heard that they ran off with the farmer's wife, who cut off their tails with carving knife.
At least now we know that if something goes wrong, FEMA knows what to do.
Yot are we gonna do tonight, Brain? Try to take over the world?
No, Pinky. We are going to try to find a pharmacy and cure this <hack> damn cough!
www.eFax.com are spammers
McDonalds security is no laughing matter.
Consider, for example, the international fugitive known as the "Hamburglar".
For these mice might have fled to Russia to join the civilization of rats reported to exist somewhere in the Urals. Now, just imagine what will happen if these rats start using these mice as suicide terrorists...
Man is a slave because freedom is difficult, whereas slavery is easy.
[thud] [clang]
CART MASTER:
Bring out your dead! [clang]
Bring out your dead! [clang]
Bring out your dead! [clang]
Bring out your dead! [clang]
CUSTOMER:
Here's one.
CART MASTER:
Ninepence.
DEAD PERSON:
I'm not dead!
CART MASTER:
What?
CUSTOMER:
Nothing. Here's your ninepence.
DEAD PERSON:
I'm not dead!
CART MASTER:
'Ere. He says he's not dead!
CUSTOMER:
Yes, he is.
DEAD PERSON:
I'm not!
CART MASTER:
He isn't?
CUSTOMER:
Well, he will be soon. He's very ill.
DEAD PERSON:
I'm getting better!
CUSTOMER:
No, you're not. You'll be stone dead in a moment.
CART MASTER:
Oh, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
DEAD PERSON:
I don't want to go on the cart!
CUSTOMER:
Oh, don't be such a baby.
CART MASTER:
I can't take him.
DEAD PERSON:
I feel fine!
CUSTOMER:
Well, do us a favour.
CART MASTER:
I can't.
CUSTOMER:
Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
CART MASTER:
No, I've got to go to the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.
CUSTOMER:
Well, when's your next round?
CART MASTER:
Thursday.
DEAD PERSON:
I think I'll go for a walk.
CUSTOMER:
You're not fooling anyone, you know. Look. Isn't there something you can do?
DEAD PERSON: [singing]
I feel happy. I feel happy.
[whop]
CUSTOMER:
Ah, thanks very much.
CART MASTER:
Not at all. See you on Thursday.
CUSTOMER:
Right. All right.
[howl]
[clop clop clop]
Who's that, then?
CART MASTER:
I dunno. Must be a king.
CUSTOMER:
Why?
CART MASTER:
He hasn't got shit all over him.
Sorry about the writing. Robot fingers, you know? Cliff Steele in DOOM PATROL #23
Evidently the good news for him is that he's now immune
Being dead will do that for you
Check out my sci-fi/humor trilogy at PatriotsBooks.