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The Slurpee at 40
theodp writes "Oh Thank Heaven for 7-Eleven! Slate reports on the 40th birthday of the Slurpee, which has frozen an estimated 6 billion brains and arguably provided the inspiration for Starbucks' Frappuccino, Dunkin' Donuts' Coolatta and Kwik-E-Mart's Squishee. Wikipedia has more Slurpee facts and links."
1. Make low cost bad tasting fruit drink 2. Freeze taste buds and brains so drink tastes good 3. ?!?!?!?! 4. Profit! Step 5, of course, is to whore for Karma
I hate you, Slurpee. I hate you with all my blisters you gave me from mopping that tar of you, people spilled all over the floor.
Although it was useful mouse/cockroach trap (a sweet death, oh what irony!), you surely leave a long trail of spills from one corner of the store to the door.
Be the 40th birthday your last! I hate you, Slurpee!!!
SLURPEEE!!!!
ps: yes, i'm seeking professional help.
"Don't let fools fool you. They are the clever ones."
I fully expect an F in your next math test, if you think 2005-1972=43.
Rupert Jee's Frozen Fruit Whippy beats the Slurpee any day!
"Perhaps you'd like to try an experimental flavour of my own concoction. A delicious chutney squishy...You can really tasted the chutney!"
--Apu
An all-syrup Super Squishy? Oh, s-s-such a thing has never been done.
I remember my mom[*] telling me once that it had something to do with overstimulation of the nerves in the roof of the mouth, or something.
,so it's not exactly authoritative, but not as random as Uncle D, the real-estate agent, which conversation went something like this:
[*]Working as a neurosurgery nurse now
GD: Why do slurpies give you a headache?
D: Because you're drinking it too fast, asshole.
GD: No, but what CAUSES the headache?
D: Shut the fuck up and just drink it. Jesus.
(Several F-bombs removed from D's speech.)
I live in Winnipeg. We don't actually buy Slurpees, we buy Big Gulps. By the time we get home after walking through the snow we have a Slurpee. The 7-Eleven marketing people will have me killed for telling you this.
Trolling is a art,
The worst job I've had was Frozen Uncarbonated Beverage Analysis Researcher.
How appropriate for /.
They say the first thing to go is your penis. Well, it's either that or your brain. I forget which...
Heh.
I grew up in New Orleans where ICEE was king. They were in each and every Time Saver (local convenience chain)and were heavily advertised outside of Time Saver ads. I always thought they were a New Orleans' product. So, when Slurpee started to show up in New Orleans in the early 1980s, I figured THEY were the usurper. How dare they come in and try to kill ICEE.
I really regret my boycotts and protests now, not to mention the dead cats outside of the stores. Sigh.
If Nalgene water bottles are outlawed, only outlaws will have Nalgene water bottles.
I fully expect an F in your next math test, if you think 2005-1972=43.
Maybe he's testing the new trig.
Table-ized A.I.