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Real And Microsoft Close to Settlement
pdirty writes "Real networks may be close to winning a $750 million settlement agreement with Microsoft following Real's antitrust lawsuit against Microsoft. The deal would include Microsoft paying cash as well as advertising for Real services, and products through channels such as MSN. Real is holding a conference call after the closing bell today to announce the details." From the article: "The deal follows on the heels of the European Commission appointing a watchdog last week to monitor Microsoft's compliance with its antitrust ruling. The pact is the latest in a string of payments by Microsoft to settle charges, including $750 million in 2003 to Time Warner to end charges about Microsoft acting to suppress Netscape, and $1.95 billion to Sun Microsystems to settle a suit by Sun over Microsoft's use of incompatible Java technology."
You will now have to enter a valid email address before logging into your desktop. Also several new unexplained executables will be added to every user's startup folder to enhance the browsing experience.
"The deal would include Microsoft paying cash as well as advertising for Real services, and products through channels such as MSN. "
This means that ads in MSN messenger are going to say
"Buffering... 33%"
And Microsoft should really consider advertising for Mozilla too.
Saskboy's blog is good. 9 out of 10 dentists agree.
But until the close of trading, the RNWK conference call says onlBuffering... buffering... buffering...
1) Use monopoly power to crush and stifle any competition
2) PROFIT!!
3) Pay off government to drop anti-trust charges
4) Pay off former competitors to drop anti-trust charges
5) EVEN MORE PROFIT!!
Nothing quite like the "free market"..
Their little eyes grow wide, their little palms grow sweaty, and their mouth dries up. "Yes, Mr. Ballmer. That will be fine."
They reach for the suitcase, but Ballmer snatches it away. "First you'll have to sign this," he says, pushing a settlement agreement their way. A pen lies on top, and as they pick up the pen, it extends a small needle and pricks their finger, sucking their blood into the inkwell.
They sign.
As they take the suitcase and walk out of Ballmer's office, they hear an evil laugh behind them... muahaha. They turn to see that Ballmer has grown to twice his size, sprouting ram horns from his forehead. "You signed it in blood," he bellows. "Your soul is mine!!!!"
But hey, $750 million can buy a heck of a good time while you're still alive.
- Greg
Start a happiness pandemic
Microsoft finally learns the same hard truth we've all learned: once you've touched RealPlayer, THEY NEVER GO AWAY.
I know nothing
"Real is worse than herpes."
I'm afraid I can't agree with you. I've managed to disable the Start Center and Jukebox from auotloading, but I don't think anyone's found the elusive cure for herpes yet. Real is also slightly less contagious, but the automated re-billing is about as deadly I have to agree.
Saskboy's blog is good. 9 out of 10 dentists agree.
I don't know who to hate most Real or MS. Why can't we lobby for a new law that allows for both parties to lose.
I used to have a better sig but it broke.
Oh god... PLEASE DONT bundle Real Player with XP, that would be the worst possible outcome.
Relax, it's only a joke.
In other news, descendants of Attila the Hun are on the verge of a $5billion settlement with Microsoft in which they accuse the company of lifting its business practices from their ancestor's playbook.
So now that that's dealt with, can the rest of us sue RealPlayer and demand a settlement that they stop sucking?
Irritable, left-wing and possibly humorous bumper stickers and t-shirts
... http://random.hackish.org/albums/Funny/buffering.j pg :)