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Ballmer - Trusting Vista and Battling Google

Posted by Zonk on from the war-stories dept.

Carnivore24 wrote to mention a C|Net article discussing Steve Ballmer's morning keynote at Gartner's Symposium/ITxpo. From the article: "'I have never, honestly, thrown a chair in my life,' Microsoft's CEO said ... Ballmer also touched on a variety of areas related to Microsoft's competition with Google. The software maker will compete 'the good old-fashioned way, with innovation,' he said. 'There are many things--who knows?--Google may or may not do. If you read the papers today, other than curing cancer, Google will do everything.'"

16 of 265 comments (clear)

  1. If by cancer... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    he meant Microsoft, then more power to Google!

  2. Google To Cure Cancer! by hsjones · · Score: 5, Funny

    Sorry, Steve. I have it on good authority that this is also in their roadmap.

    1. Re:Google To Cure Cancer! by enrico_suave · · Score: 5, Funny

      what do you know...

      http://cancer.google.com/ resolves! (no i'm kidding, don't bother)

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    2. Re:Google To Cure Cancer! by Spetiam · · Score: 3, Funny

      /me waits for someone to sincerely suggest Google can cure cancer.

      Seriously, Google seems to have a cult following at times.

      Now watch me get modded down.......

      Q.E.D. :)

  3. The good old fashioned way? by UnderDark · · Score: 5, Funny

    Um, wern't the "old fashioned" ways using teams of hired mercs to wage priovate wars with? Or am I just reading too many M-rated books?

  4. Chair tossing... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    'I have never, honestly, thrown a chair in my life,'

    First stage: Denial

  5. Honestly... by Dante+Shamest · · Score: 5, Funny
    "I have never, honestly, thrown a chair in my life,"

    What he means folks, is that he has thrown a chair dishonestly.

    1. Re:Honestly... by linumax · · Score: 4, Funny

      Nope! He meant it was not a single chair. He is actually capable of throwing more at once.

    2. Re:Honestly... by kidgenius · · Score: 5, Funny

      Ah...the ever deadly double-chair throw. Ballmer has more ninja skills than I gave him credit for.

  6. Developers Developers Developers! by camelmix · · Score: 3, Funny

    Wow, MS a bit scared of the little search engine that could. And my good old competetion we mean being bullies and playing monopoly.

  7. What is Ballmer's Slashdot ID? by obender · · Score: 5, Funny
    If you read the papers today, other than curing cancer, Google will do everything.

    From the comment above I suspect he's been reading Slashot on a regular basis lately.

  8. In other news..... by 8127972 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Steve Ballmer was quoted as saying "Fucking Mark Lukovsky a is a fucking pussy. I'm going to fucking bury that guy, I have done it before, and I will do it again. I'm going to fucking kill Mark Lukovsky for starting that chair rumor!" after he denied throwing a chair.

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  9. Chair, hell by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I work for Steve Ballmer, so I am reading these comments with great interest and no small amusement. He most certainly did not throw a chair. He threw his whole fucking credenza into the hallway and kung-FUDded it to splinters.

  10. Can we sue Google by RingDev · · Score: 3, Funny

    For not curing cancer?

    -Rick

    --
    "Most people in the U.S. wouldn't know they live in a tyrannical state if it walked up and grabbed their junk." - MyFirs
  11. People say 'I'm going to MSN you' by rubberbando · · Score: 3, Funny

    And I respond with, "Please don't." (:

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  12. I remember that by geekoid · · Score: 3, Funny

    Steve: Whats over there?
    Me: It'a a credenza
    Steve: What's it doing?
    Me: Nothing, it's a credenza.
    Steve: I watch it, what's it do?
    Me: Nothing It's a credenza
    Steve: I grab it and throw it in the hallway.
    Me: ...Ooookay... Now what?
    Steve:Does it do anything?
    Me: No IT'S a credenza!
    Steve: I kung-Fu it's ass!
    Me: Like a chair?
    Steve: Hell Yeah like a chair! Except I'm going to fucking kill it! You HEAR ME credenza! I'm going to FUCKING KILL you!!!!

    or maybe I'm confusing that with another story.

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