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How Zombies Work
Tsaroth writes "Just in time for everyone's Halloween fantasy, a horde of undead minions to collect candy for you; HowStuffWorks.com has just put up a new article about How Zombies Work. From Haitian zombies, to Dawn of the Dead it's more fun with corpses than you've ever had, hopefully." Ewww. From the article: "It happens in just about every zombie movie -- a throng of reanimated corpses lumbers toward the farmhouse, shopping mall, pub or army base where the heroes have barricaded themselves. The zombies aren't dead, but they should be. They're relentless and oblivious to pain, and they continue to attack even after losing limbs. Usually, anyone the zombies kill returns as a zombie, so they quickly evolve from a nuisance to a plague."
Position yourself above the ground floor of a structure, then promptly demolish stairs leading to said floor. This technique will thwart both classic Romero style oaf-zombie, as well as the current new fangled fast and flighty zombie.
I think the attraction with Zombie invasion scenarios lies in the fact that Zombies are pretty easy to defeat and not all that terrifying, yet scary enough to get that adrenaline (and the shotgun) pumping. The people that wish for a zombie invasion would likely balk at the idea of Gigeresque aliens or more sinister enemies to defeat. Furthermore, as zombies are undead, there's no guilt involved in destroying them. Infact, because they once used to be your friendly neighbour or bus driver, you're more spurned on to 'set them free' by taking a switchblade to their neck.
If I may go all Tyler Durden on you for a second, I also believe that there are elements of the daily drudgery come into play when people have these fantasies. It's becoming increasingly difficult for us to die, ergo surviving is less of an effort. The instincts of ours that deal with fighting off tigers or getting a fire going so we don't freeze to death lie there helplessly and impotent, and we only experience that half-insane fear, half-fucking orgasmic jolt when we are held at knife-point or similar situations. We're in a comfortable rut of daily life where day-to-day challenges consist mostly of choosing what's for dinner or what Valentine's card to buy our wives. A zombie invasion changes all the rules, flips everything upside down. Suddenly there's a reason for being, suddenly a reason for continuing to exist. Fuck differences in religion, politics and sexuality, we're united in the common cause for stopping these bastards from eating us off the face of the Earth. And when we have finally blasted that last flesh eating motherfucker into a billion pieces, buried our dead and rebuilt our shopping malls, our breakfast will taste better than any other breakfast...
It's also likely that some of the motivation behind such fantasies is rooted in a 'purging' of a percentage of humanity, in the same way that a good war or disease bails some water from the boat of Mother Nature. If you take into account that you have to be quite dumb (or really unlucky) to be killed from a weak, shuffling zombie, then it's hard to deny that some people would wish for this as a Darwinistic chlorination of the gene pool.
Finally, I believe it also plays off of those fantasies that I'm sure everyone has had at some time, where everyone disappears from the face of the Earth, leaving you and perhaps a few friends to go anywhere you want, taking any car you fancy etc - an excuse for total freedom and perhaps anarchy.
I have to admit that, personally, half of me would like to see a Shaun Of The Dead-style zombie apocalypse. The idea of teaming up with my mates and driving to somewhere we can hole ourselves up and fend off some moronic undead with a chainsaw or cricket bat (no gunshops or easily discoverable stashes of firearms over here in Britain) does tickle my fancy somewhat...
Mother, do you think they'll like this sig?