How To Write Unmaintainable Code

An anonymous reader writes "Make sure you're irreplaceable -' In the interests of creating employment opportunities in the Java programming field, I am passing on these tips from the masters on how to write code that is so difficult to maintain, that the people who come after you will take years to make even the simplest changes. Further, if you follow all these rules religiously, you will even guarantee yourself a lifetime of employment, since no one but you has a hope in hell of maintaining the code. Then again, if you followed all these rules religiously, even you wouldn't be able to maintain the code! You don't want to overdo this. Your code should not look hopelessly unmaintainable, just be that way. Otherwise it stands the risk of being rewritten or refactored. '"

Comments

Off to a bad start

[Golias]

The page begins by attributing a quote to Napoleon which he probably never said.

"Never ascribe to malice, that which can be explained by incompetence."

The most reliable available evidence out there is that "never attribute to malice what can adequately be explained by stupidity" was originally said by Robert J. Hanlon, a relatively unknown humorist who wrote it for a contest to extend Murphy's Law. It's sometimes called "Hanlon's Razor."

If you think I'm wrong, please cite the publication in which Napoleon is recorded as having said it.

Amazing...

[Alpha_Traveller]

This article is exactly like "How to Talk to a Liberal", but in code!