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Superman V: The Sordid Story
ThePuceGuardian writes "With Superman Returning from development hell next summer, perhaps Slashdot's readership would appreciate this summary of the 10+ years spent in development, and the sequel that never quite was.
Years of stupidity and outright seething contempt for the fans who were expected to shell out for the franchise are detailed, from the Kevin Smith era, through Tim Burton and including 'McG's short but not short enough association with the project. The summary ends in mid-2004, which is about a decade after the whole sordid affair should have been capped off, and right before the current production started up.I just have to include this quote:
"Michael Bay was offered to direct the film again, but he felt the script violated the essence of Superman and refused the offer."
WhenMichael Bay declines your project for reasons of artistic integrity, I think it's time to consider a new line of work.."
You're kidding, right? Superman is, in the end, a big goofy boy-scout in blue tights. He's not a sophisticated urban socialite with a dark secret like Bruce Wayne; he's an all-American country boy who does what's right, by golly! You can't get away from the silliness by going nasty and gothic, like you can with the Gotham crowd; Superman will always be a bit camp.
As for a retelling of the story: which story? Superman has been in thousands of stories. Personally, I was never too keen on Superman solo; he worked best for me in the context of the Justice League, where the permanent tension between him and Batman made things a lot more interesting. I'd like to see a film of The Dark Knight Returns, which really gets to the heart of what both Superman and Batman are really all about...
Real Daleks don't climb stairs - they level the building.
With Batman, he'd had a free hand to make it the way he wanted. However, the success of Batman meant that each future superhero movie had to not only make a decent film, but have characters and vehicles for Burger Kig tie-ins, action figures, etc.
So when he was offered the chance to direct Superman, he told us that it came with so much extra baggage that he couldn't make it the way he wanted to at the same time as keeping corporate partners happy. But he felt it was his own fault, partially, caused by his Batman movie's success back in '89.
My absolute favorite variation is Kim Stanley Robinson's short story "Ubermensch!", in which a slight variation in timing causes Kal-El's lifeboat to land on a farm near Kleinberg in Germany, instead of Smallville in America. (keep in mind when 'Superman' first appeared.)
If you haven't read it, look it up - it's not just a gimmick, the story has depth.
Sure, I like Batman. I don't deny that Batman camps it up too - I mean, some days you just can't get rid of a bomb - but he has the alternative available. You can have the Caped Crusader, camp as you like, or the Dark Knight posing all gothic on a moonlit rooftop. But that aside, if critically discussing Superman as a superhero, Batman is the most obvious subject to examine along with him. He's the alternative model of the hero: the avenger, not the protector. The billionaire, not the farm boy. Batman has to work hard to be a hero; Superman would have to work hard not to.
I think the two of them go well together. The idealist and the cynic. Light and dark. Paladin and rogue. Sure, they're both heroes, but they could so easily be at each other's throats. Opposites in every way except the one that counts. Each is weakened when the other isn't around - Batman less so, I think, because he's got the best villains, but that might just be me.
That said, if I could see a film made of any superhero of all, I think the world's ready for J'onn. I mean, I don't think I've ever seen the guy outside the comics. Martian Manhunter, your time has come!
Real Daleks don't climb stairs - they level the building.
A similar idea was used in Red Son - in which Kal-El landed in the Ukraine. Superman fought for truth, justice, and the workers' revolution! Wonderful idea, fabulous Soviet propaganda-style artwork of Superman as the ideal Stakhanovite... ended badly, though, with Brainiac and stuff.
Real Daleks don't climb stairs - they level the building.
In the dvd "An Evening With Kevin Smith", Kevin goes into great length about this Superman story.
It's realy fun to watch, my favorite part is about Jon Peters.
For example you learn that Jon requires that:
* superman must NOT fly for no obvious reason
* superman must NOT wear a cape because it's gay
* superman must fight a giant-fuckin-spider
As a sidenote the spider made its way to the Peters-produced movie of the time "Wild Wide West"
Favorite quote:
J.P: "Spiderman must fight a giant spider"
K.S: "Why ?"
J.P: "Do you know anything about spiders ?"
K.S: "No"
J.P: "They're the fiercest killers in the insect kingdom!"
And the same goes on later with White Bears !!!
Seriously, this Jon Peters guy is so messed up !!
Hehe, google to the rescue, here's a transcript from http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=12916::
Supermoron (long)
After seeing Mallrats, Warner Brothers producer Jon Peters considered hiring Kevin Smith to work on Superman Lives. Smith visited Peters in his Hollywood monster home to discuss the project. Peters, who climbed the Hollywood ladder from the lowest rung (Barbra Streisand's former hairdresser), began by telling Smith he was perfect for the project because, like Peters, he understood Superman. "You know why we understand Superman?" he asked. "Because we're from the streets."
Smith, who grew up in suburban New Jersey, did not argue the point and Peters continued. Smith could do whatever he liked with the story, said Peters, with three exceptions. "I don't want to see him in the suit," Peters began, explaining that it made Superman look gay. Secondly? "I don't want to see him flying..."
If Smith was speechless, he had yet to hear the third demand: "I want to see him wrestle with a giant spider in the third act." Why a spider, Smith asked. "Do you know anything about spiders," Peters replied. "Theyre the fiercest killers in the insect kingdom!"
As so often happens in Hollywood, a director (Tim Burton) was soon attached - and insisted on bringing in his own writers. Smith, who had a nasty feud with Burton (after claiming that he had stolen the idea for Planet of the Apes from a comic book) noticed that the spider promptly disappeared from the script. Some time later, however, he went to see another Peters production: Barry Sonnenfeld's Wild Wild West:
"I'm watching this thinking, this is really a piece of s---," he later recalled. He had the laugh of his life, however, as the plot unfolded. The plot? President Grant assigns two U.S. Marshals (Will Smith and Kevin Kline) to stop a deranged madman (Kenneth Branagh) from wreaking havoc on the country... with a giant mechanical spider!
[Many critics called Wild Wild West the worst film of the year.]
Smith, Kevin Patrick (1970- ) American writer, actor and director [noted for his work on such comic book series as Daredevil (Marvel Knights) and Spiderman (2002); and for his roles in (and direction of) such films as Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001), Dogma (1999), Chasing Amy (1997), Mallrats (1995), Clerks (1994), Mae Day: The Crumbling of a Documentary (1992)]
This is the exact reason that Lex Luthor keeps superman around. I mean come on, everyone knows that Lex could rack up a clip of kryptonite bullets and pop a cap in The Man of Steel any time he wants, right? But Lex needs superman around. You see as long as superman is around then no matter how many people Lex kills, now matter how horrible his actions the regular cops won't ever come after him. They leave the job up to Superman. And what does Lex get when superman comes calling? A stern lecture. So it's handy for Lex to keep Superman around to make sure he can get away with anything for nothing more than a slap on the wrist.
Kintanon
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