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Reality TV "Astronauts" Lift Off

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the where-do-you-find-people-this-stupid dept.

RJG writes "In the latest reality show on British TV, three British "space tourists" last night succesfully blasted off on a five day mission and are currently orbiting the earth 200 miles up. Or so they think. And to forestall the first question. They aren't experiencing weightlessness due to a combination of being in a low orbit (rather than outer space where the weightlessness is) and a few under-floor gravity generators."

15 of 644 comments (clear)

  1. America has officially lost its monopoly on stupid by TripMaster+Monkey · · Score: 5, Funny


    Well, at least it's nice to be reassured that stark raving idiocy isn't an exclusively American trait. Apparently, any prospective 'astronaut' who showed even the slightest glimmer of comprehension of the rudimentaries of physics was automatically disqualified. leaving us with the pick of the litter...people who are stupid enough to believe that 'gravity generators' exist, and that exposure to 'near space' will make you shorter and increase your lung capacity.

    Now add to the mix a psycho Russian pilot:
    Pilot Yevgeny Ivanovich joined the passengers for breakfast, and was asked about the colour painted on his finger. He told them it was a superstition of his. In faltering English he tried to explain his reliance on superstition. "The devil's strokes are sexy. He likes to be somebody sexy, the devil."

    He told them that every day he's in space he paints another finger.
    ...and the hilarity practically writes itself. In fact, perhaps the only way this show could get any more entertaining is if the viewing public were allowed to vote on which indignity the 'astronauts' would have to suffer next.
    --
    ____

    ~ |rip/\/\aster /\/\onkey

  2. Dramatic Final Episode by nizo · · Score: 5, Funny

    The last episode will be the best one, when the TV show fakes a leak in the station and they have five minutes to decide which of the three gets the two working space suits. Sort of like Lord of the Flies in space. I bet they will think it is soooooo funny when they find out it is just a TV show.

    --
    I Am My Own Worst Enemy
  3. To qualify, participants... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...had to fail a drug test, physics test, and IQ test.

    1. Re:To qualify, participants... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      Not to mention take science classes in Kansas...

  4. gravity generators? by at_18 · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...gravity generators

    Sure proof that those onboard deserve to be laughed at, assuming that they aren't paid actors.

  5. For safety's sake... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I hope they brought an inanimate carbon rod.

  6. Heavy, man! by oddaddresstrap · · Score: 5, Funny

    "They aren't experiencing weightlessnes due to ... a few under-floor gravity generators." - "gravity generators" like, for instance, the EARTH?

  7. again? by gfanboy · · Score: 5, Funny

    I wonder if this is how they faked the original Apollo moon landing?

  8. Re:America has officially lost its monopoly on stu by tnk1 · · Score: 5, Funny

    We must act immediately to close the Stupid Gap!

  9. Gravity generators. Uhh huh. by RomulusNR · · Score: 5, Funny

    Dammit, if I wanted to watch idiots being fooled by a large corporation, couldn't I just go to the mall?

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  10. "low orbit" by Digital_Quartz · · Score: 4, Funny

    low orbit (rather than outer space where the wightlessnes is)

    It's a little known fact, but this is why things always fall off the bottom of the moon.

  11. Better idea by Quiet_Desperation · · Score: 4, Funny

    Can they be voted out the airlock? I'd pay to watch that.

  12. Re:America has officially lost its monopoly on stu by Ellis+D.+Tripp · · Score: 5, Funny

    Or in the White House....

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  13. Re:America has officially lost its monopoly on stu by lucky130 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Technically speaking, all objects are gravity generators :).

  14. Re:America has officially lost its monopoly on stu by MarkGriz · · Score: 5, Funny

    "We must act immediately to close the Stupid Gap!"

    I assume you mean "Stupidity Gap".

    Yes, apparently it's worse than we thought.

    --
    Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.