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Reality TV "Astronauts" Lift Off

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the where-do-you-find-people-this-stupid dept.

RJG writes "In the latest reality show on British TV, three British "space tourists" last night succesfully blasted off on a five day mission and are currently orbiting the earth 200 miles up. Or so they think. And to forestall the first question. They aren't experiencing weightlessness due to a combination of being in a low orbit (rather than outer space where the weightlessness is) and a few under-floor gravity generators."

20 of 644 comments (clear)

  1. America has officially lost its monopoly on stupid by TripMaster+Monkey · · Score: 5, Funny


    Well, at least it's nice to be reassured that stark raving idiocy isn't an exclusively American trait. Apparently, any prospective 'astronaut' who showed even the slightest glimmer of comprehension of the rudimentaries of physics was automatically disqualified. leaving us with the pick of the litter...people who are stupid enough to believe that 'gravity generators' exist, and that exposure to 'near space' will make you shorter and increase your lung capacity.

    Now add to the mix a psycho Russian pilot:
    Pilot Yevgeny Ivanovich joined the passengers for breakfast, and was asked about the colour painted on his finger. He told them it was a superstition of his. In faltering English he tried to explain his reliance on superstition. "The devil's strokes are sexy. He likes to be somebody sexy, the devil."

    He told them that every day he's in space he paints another finger.
    ...and the hilarity practically writes itself. In fact, perhaps the only way this show could get any more entertaining is if the viewing public were allowed to vote on which indignity the 'astronauts' would have to suffer next.
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    ~ |rip/\/\aster /\/\onkey

  2. Dramatic Final Episode by nizo · · Score: 5, Funny

    The last episode will be the best one, when the TV show fakes a leak in the station and they have five minutes to decide which of the three gets the two working space suits. Sort of like Lord of the Flies in space. I bet they will think it is soooooo funny when they find out it is just a TV show.

    --
    I Am My Own Worst Enemy
    1. Re:Dramatic Final Episode by vague+disclaimer · · Score: 5, Interesting

      You are of course labouring under the illusion that the whole thing isn't a hoax on the viewer.

    2. Re:Dramatic Final Episode by hobbit · · Score: 5, Interesting

      And then... the final twist.

      --
      "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something" - Plato
  3. To qualify, participants... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...had to fail a drug test, physics test, and IQ test.

  4. For safety's sake... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I hope they brought an inanimate carbon rod.

  5. Heavy, man! by oddaddresstrap · · Score: 5, Funny

    "They aren't experiencing weightlessnes due to ... a few under-floor gravity generators." - "gravity generators" like, for instance, the EARTH?

  6. again? by gfanboy · · Score: 5, Funny

    I wonder if this is how they faked the original Apollo moon landing?

  7. Re:America has officially lost its monopoly on stu by tnk1 · · Score: 5, Funny

    We must act immediately to close the Stupid Gap!

  8. The joke is on all of you. by ashitaka · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Of course the "astronauts" know it's just a show.

    Of course they know they're not in space.

    What you are witnessing is the first real reality show backlash. The TV programmers have figured out that there are enough gullible people in the world who watch and believe these shows that they can hire a basically competant series of actors who go through the motions of a reality series. Come on, they've been able to study the reactions of reality show participants for months if not years.

    The real "participants" in this series are the audience who laugh at "players" they think are stupid enough to believe what they are going through and post messages on blogs and sites like Slashdot being so witty about America not being the only stupid country. The producers can then show all these blogs and the reactions of audience members who they've interviewed before revealing the that the joke is on them.

    --
    If you don't want to repeat the past, stop living in it.
  9. Gravity generators. Uhh huh. by RomulusNR · · Score: 5, Funny

    Dammit, if I wanted to watch idiots being fooled by a large corporation, couldn't I just go to the mall?

    --
    Terrorists can attack freedom, but only Congress can destroy it.
  10. Re:America has officially lost its monopoly on stu by Aqua+OS+X · · Score: 5, Insightful

    At least they're making fun of their stupid people, we tend to put our morons on pedestals.

    --
    "Things are more moderner than before- bigger, and yet smaller- it's computers-- San Dimas High School football RULES!"
  11. Re:America has officially lost its monopoly on stu by Ellis+D.+Tripp · · Score: 5, Funny

    Or in the White House....

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    Remember "News for Nerds, Stuff that Matters"? Help make it a reality again! http://soylentnews.org
  12. Re:America has officially lost its monopoly on stu by lucky130 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Technically speaking, all objects are gravity generators :).

  13. No, we haven't... by vishbar · · Score: 5, Informative

    We're still holding on strong. The whole thing, including the cadets, is a huge hoax on us, the viewers. Though the brits fell for this one too, so we'll call it even.

    --
    Ride the skies
    1. Re:No, we haven't... by bani · · Score: 5, Informative

      The hoax is that the british public believes that the participants are unaware of the hoax.

      as pointed out, the participants are really actors, and the hoax is on you.

  14. Re:America has officially lost its monopoly on stu by jeffy210 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    You obviously haven't seen any Japanese game shows....

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    "And may your days be long upon the earth."
  15. Re:America has officially lost its monopoly on stu by MarkGriz · · Score: 5, Funny

    "We must act immediately to close the Stupid Gap!"

    I assume you mean "Stupidity Gap".

    Yes, apparently it's worse than we thought.

    --
    Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
  16. Re:The "Casting Call" episodes must be the best by h4rm0ny · · Score: 5, Insightful


    I think the whole idea of this program is sick. The gist of it is to laugh at people who think something great is going to happen to them, so that the audience can go "Ha ha" when it turns out they've been had.

    On the one side you've got the fact that the physics and economics doesn't work.
    On the other side, you have a television companies resources and experience, professional actors, a peer group that all believe what's happening, a sustained attempt to fool these people, a poor education on their part, and the faint glimmer of hope (soon to be extinguished) that something wonderful might actually happen to them.

    Shame on the TV company that has rooted out people who didn't get a decent education so that they can pick on them. Shame on the audience who get off on that.

    IMHO.

    --

    Aide-toi, le Ciel t'aidera - Jeanne D'Arc.
  17. Re:America has officially lost its monopoly on stu by carbon116 · · Score: 5, Informative
    You'd be surprised.

    I read an article about this show before it aired. They did intensive physiological tests on the contestants to ensure they chose people who were susceptible to suggestion. These people actually turned out to be of *higher* than average intelligence.

    Intelligence is not necessarily knowledge of how a spacecraft might behave. They're probably not geeks like us, so they probably have no idea of the state of space technology.

    --
    I'm too cool for a sig.