Getting Off NetHack?

thetan asks: "Like a lot of Slashdot readers, I've played a little NetHack as a teenager. Alright, quite a lot - but it was no big deal and I just sort of grew out of it. Now I'm not proud of this, but I got my gf hooked and she's been using daily for a few years now. After she tired of the game, I tried sating the monkey on her back with new fixes like Angband and ADOM. Now, I no longer want be a party to her addiction and self-destruction. She acknowledges the problem but is not yet ready to take that first step. What can I do to help ween her off? Could interactive fiction act as a methadone - or does it result in just as much harm? What other strategies have users employed to get clean? Does anyone know of NetHack addiction support groups or a 12-step? I'm desperate to get her back!"

Comments

Obviously...

[Anonymous Coward]

You must kill her.

Go with it! Roleplay

[hoggoth]

Get a dog. Name him 'little-d'.
Dress yourself up as a giant '@' sign.

Approach your girlfriend and let the fun begin.
If she jumps your bones, all is well.

If she attacks you, don't worry, the dog will jump in and protect you.

Does she still give sex?

[SmallFurryCreature]

Yes? Then no problem. At least when she is on nethack there is no chance of her meeting a handsome hunk of a man. (Yes I considered the possibilty that the poster is one but broke down in hysterical laugher after 1 second)

No? Then no problem, your a geek and weren't going to get any anyway.

But if your desperate I suggest sneaking up on her when she is asleep and tying her to the bed and giving her more sex then a woman can handle. Let all the frustation of you years of being a geek virgin out and rock her boat.

Either it will give her a new appreciation of dating a geek (unlikely but you never know) or it will get you arrested and thrown in jail. Wich is still good since you at least lost your cherry and will soon loose another as you meet your new cell mate.

Anyone else thinks the chances of the original question being real are less then zero? Any real geek with a nethack addicted girlfriend would be to busy thanking god on his knees to post on /.

The real problem is the keyboard.

[neo]

You need to immediately switch her to a dworvak keyboard, preferably one that is ergonomic. It's tough love, but this will force her to pursue other entertainment sources and increase her typing speed.

If that doesn't work, your last option is to go keyboardless. I suggest a mac, with the single button mouse. Be gentle with her, this is not an easy habit to break.

If all else fails you have one last hope... CoreWars.

Re:Nothing you can do

[mengel]

Well, hack up the sources for your local copy of Nethack to make it much much harder. When you can't win, the games get much less fun.

For example, find that flag that gets set if you eat your pet and turn it on at the beginning of the game. Turn up the odds on spontaneous monster creation, etc. Take scrolls of Remove Curse out of the game and crank up the odds on a water demon being created if you dip things in fountains...

She'll think she's lost her touch, and get disgusted, and quit. Of course, she may also smash your computer into little, eensy, weensy, tiny pieces first...

12 Steps.

[Zangief]

1) She has to recognize that she has a problem.
2) She has to realize, that her willpower alone isn't enough to overcome the problem.
3) She has to recognize that only Yendor has the power to solve her problem.
4-12) Play more Nethack.

Radical Intervention

[HTH NE1]

Have you considered introducing her to Jack Thompson as a form of radical intervention?

Re:Nothing you can do

[Scarblac]

Well, hack up the sources for your local copy of Nethack to make it much much harder.

"There is another theory, which states that this has already happened..."

Three Words

[DynaSoar]

Leisure Suit Larry

But you have to act it out with her. She gets her fix, you get yours.