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Getting Off NetHack?
thetan asks: "Like a lot of Slashdot readers, I've played a little NetHack as a teenager. Alright, quite a lot - but it was no big deal and I just sort of grew out of it. Now I'm not proud of this, but I got my gf hooked and she's been using daily for a few years now. After she tired of the game, I tried sating the monkey on her back with new fixes like Angband and ADOM. Now, I no longer want be a party to her addiction and self-destruction. She acknowledges the problem but is not yet ready to take that first step. What can I do to help ween her off? Could interactive fiction act as a methadone - or does it result in just as much harm? What other strategies have users employed to get clean? Does anyone know of NetHack addiction support groups or a 12-step? I'm desperate to get her back!"
The fact that you've found a girl who doesn't get that weird look in her eye when you tell her your playing Nethack is not something to be overlooked. An above poster is on the right track: Don't try to fight it, build on it. Get her into MUDs, maybe buy her Neverwinter Nights and find a few persistent world servers she can try out, introduce her to MMORPGs if she's doing well on lighter stuff.
See, by trying to break her of video games, you're basically trying to create a typical girlfriend. If you succeed, it'll only be a matter of time before she starts complaining that you spend more time raiding with your guild than you do taking her out, or that you should find a more grown-up hobby than games. Before you know it, you'll be married and your video games will be up in a garage sale like so many gamers before you.
... she's wasting her time and not advancing herself during that time, which is probably the biggest downside to drug addition at first, but at least when she's over it, she won't have brain or liver damage. Also has the advantage of being able to "sober-up" at any point in time if an important interruption comes along. Try having work call after a couple of bong hits and compare that with having them call during a video game.
It's cool that you genuinely care about your girlfriend's well-being, but go watch an episode of Jerry Springer and see if you've got it so bad. Everyone needs their vice... at least she's chose one of the better ones.
at least she's not out there doing drugs, right? there are many worse things to be hooked on than a game. games are relatively harmless, and she's hooked on ONE game: a free one at that, so she's not wasting any money on her hobby, just time.
whats so wrong with letting her do something that gives her pleasure? why do you feel the need to meddle in other people's leisure-time hobbies? are you jealous that she spends more time with nethack than she does you? I think that you need to ask yourself these questions first.
I think you should be happy that she's found a fun, free (so long as she sticks to nethack), and geeky hobby. most guys would jump at the opportunity to have a game-addicted girlfriend. why aren't you?
Actually no...he is right. And I think you are loudly agreeing with him, because you seem to be saying the same thing, just confrontationally.
Its only an issue if it causes a problem. In fact, thats part of the very definition of any mental disorder. Check out the DSM if you want... unless there is a problem, there is no disease.
It doesn't matter if you see angels and deamons sitting on peoples shoulders telling you what to do. As long as thats not causing a problem for you in your job, social interaction, general contentness of life, or running you afoul of the law, then you are in absolutly fine mental health.
Now..... it IS causing a problem. Maybe not a problem for her, but a problem for him and thus for their relationship. Maybe that means she says 'get over it' and maybe he does... problem solved.
However, if he thinks its a problem, and he values the relationship, then I go with 'push her'. Now, there is push and there is push. I think he should make his feelings known, and say how he sees it as a problem, and offer to help. Thats a push, a gentle one. I don't think a strong push "get help or I am gone" is a good idea... but maybe just because its not my style.
Bottom line, they are in a relationship. He has as much right to be bothered by her actions and make requests about them as she has to do what she wants. If they can't reconcile those rights and desires, then it may be time to end the relationship. However, thats completly up to them.
In any case, when it comes to someone that you love, be it a fammily member, lover, or good friend, it is your duty not only to support them in their decisions to whatever extent that you can, but to point out to them when and why you can't, and when you feel their decision is a mistake.
Whether your opinion is right or wrong is of ourse dependand on the situation, and furthermore is a value judgement itself. However, it is never wrong to say what you honestly think. If that person values you and your opinion, they will listen, if for no other reason than because you feel it is important for them to. If they can't at least do you that respect, then why is it your wasting your time with them?
So I say if its a problem then give her a nudge, and if need be a push. However, if she can't convince you as to why its not really a problem and still continues despite your best efforts.... maybe its just time to walk. Then again, its all conjecture. Honestly, I thought the original question was a joke.
-Steve
"I opened my eyes, and everything went dark again"
Yep, nothing says "romance" like asking Slashdot geeks for personal advice.