Safe Options for Surfing While on the Road?

Sooner Boomer asks: "My oldest brother is an over-the-road truck driver. He subscribes to several wireless services at truck stops (Flying J, Pilot, etc.). I've tried to help him and educate him as much as possible, but he still has two problems; connectivity (poor signal strength) and security. His truck has a fiberglass shell, so that is not the problem. He has to run IE because this is the only browser supported for the log-in process. We've talked about wireless routers with reflectors on the antennas to boost signal strength, and to help with security. I'm still looking for better security though. Are there "live" linux browsers that can be run once a connection is made in windows? It's really gotten annoying because he has to reformat/reinstall about every two-three months. Ideas? Good trucker jokes?"

Comments

ok, a joke

[sfjoe]

Since I don't have any ideas for you, here's my trucker joke:

A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee, & a slice of apple pie. Three bikers came in, and one grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger out of his hand and took a huge bite from it. The second biker drank the trucker's coffee, & the third biker wolfed down the apple pie. The truck driver didn't say a word, just paid the cashier & left.
When he was gone, the bikers snickered & congratulated each other for being such bad asses. As the cashier walked up, a biker growled, "He ain't much of a man is he?"
"He's not much of a driver neither," replied the cashier. "He just backed his 18 wheeler over three motorcycles."

trucker joke

[frangipani]

I'd tell you my trucker joke, but it's only semi-funny.

A hitchhiker gets picked up by a trucker

[Fr05t]

A hitchhiker gets picked up by a trucker. After a while of small talk, the truck driver looks over at the hitchhiker and asks if he'd like to see something cool. The hitchhiker shrugs, and says ok. Then the driver reaches across to the glove compartment, opens it, and a small monkey jumps out. Very quickly without warning the truck driver punches the Monkey, and just as quickly the Monkey pulls down the truckers pants and gives him a blow job.

The hitchhiker is taken back by this, and just sits quietly trying not to look until the driver asks if he'd like to try. Nervously the hitchhiker replies, "Ok, but please don't punch me".

A stupid trucker joke

[j-turkey]

Since all of my ideas have already been stated, I'll offer a dumb trucker joke. It works better recited, but I'll try to convey it in text:

A queer couple is hitchhiking on the side of I-80, trying to get across the country to California. A big, friendly trucker stops to pick them up. He offers them a ride all the way to California, and they gladly hop in. After some time on the road and enough idle chit-chat to break the ice, one of the queer gentlemen says "oh my god, I have to fart".

The truck driver is completely unphased and says "go nuts!". The queer guy raises a cheek and emits a drafty sound, like "paaahhhhhhhhh". The second queer guy looks at his partner and giggles.

"That's not a fart! That's barely even a breeze." His partner turns back to face him.

"Can you do any better?" he asked. The second hitchhiker groans and strains and emits a slightly louder (but still barely audible) "paaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh".

The big trucker lets a hearty laugh out and asks "who the hell taught you boys how to break wind?" Listen to this! The driver raises an eyebrow, as if he were contemplating his flatulence. After a short pause, he emits a loud, resonating fart that seemed to shake the entire cab. There is a slightly uncomfortable moment of silence. The queer couple look at each other and giggle, then they say to each other in unison "viiiirgin!"