Doctors Claim Suspended Animation Success

Philoneist.com writes to tell us the Sydney Morning Herald is reporting that US doctors have developed a process to induce hypothermia in trauma patients, shutting down their bodily functions for up to three hours. The process has been proven about 90% effective in trials with pigs and now the doctors would like the go ahead to test it on humans who would "probably die" under normal care.

Comments

What about going to heaven?

[Freexe]

Surely if your heart is stopped and your brain dead then your soul leaves your body and you go to heaven (or hell) depending on how good you lived your life.

I expect that it only works on pigs, because they are dirty animals and don't have a soul.

Re:What about going to heaven?

[Qzukk]

Or people who are clinically dead but are then resuscitated?

What about people who are clinically dead and cannot be resuscitated?

Re:What about going to heaven?

[Anonymous Coward]

Anyway, my answer to his problem is this: What about people who go into hypothermia in normal situations? Or people who are clinically dead but are then resuscitated?

They are soulless abominations, and should be burned!

Re:What about going to heaven?

[carpe_noctem]

Why they celebrate birthdays and not conception days (they're so adamant at trying to control non-believers definitions of "life").

I think because singing "Happy Fuckday to You" just isn't very family-friendly, when you get down to it.

Re: What about going to heaven?

[Black Parrot]

> Do I have to believe in God and be a Christian to get that opportunity to go hang out with god? Or can anyone do it?

Look at His bumper stickers, to see whether it's one of those "no ass, no grass, no ride" situations.

Re:What about going to heaven?

[hazem]

Why they celebrate birthdays and not conception days (they're so adamant at trying to control non-believers definitions of "life"). [sic]

Which is the more dramatic occasion?

Well, coming from an x-Christian position, I would say that the moment the soul enters the body (conception) is vastly more dramatic and important than the moment that body passes through a vagina. What could be more important than that moment that God gives you your soul? The date of birth is pretty much an irrelevant incedent - or it should be.

That is, if you really believe in all that *stuff*. And of course, for this crowd, any part of their body passing through a vagina for a second time will surely rank as the most dramatic moment of their life.

Re:What about going to heaven?

[Pantero Blanco]

"or does god to "snapshots" of people just before they die, so he can "recover" them at the end of days...?"

A series of save states that people get to pick from when they're restored would make more sense (if you believe in literal physical resurrection). Otherwise, he'd end up with billions of aged people barely able to walk.

Transendence always made more sense to me.

Re:What about going to heaven?

[Ruff_ilb]

some girl on the street asked if i was saved yet
  i told her i saved at the checkpoint a couple minutes back
  and can reload from there if i die
  she was confused

90% effective?

[Trigun]

I have ten peoplethat I'd like to nominate for clinical trials!

Obligatory Flatliners Quotes

[Doomedsnowball]

Memorable Quotes from
Flatliners (1990)
Nelson Wright: Hello, I'm nice, he's nice, we're both fucking lunatics. Can I come in, please?
David Labraccio: He said ... he said it wasn't such a good day to die.
Nelson Wright: Thank you.
Nelson Wright: Today is a good day to die
Nelson Wright: You bring the equipment, I'll bring my balls.
Joe Hurley: I don't know. Not thinking about the past or the future. I don't know it's difficult to explain, maybe impossible.
David Labraccio: Yeah, dying is quite that way.
Randy Steckle: I did not come to medical school to murder my class mates no matter how deranged they might be.
Nelson Wright: Everything matters, everything we do matters.
Nelson Wright: Somehow we've brought our sins back physically. And they're pissed.
Randy Steckle: Good thing I didn't flatline. My 350-pound babysitter would be chasing me for the half-eaten pastrami sandwich I stole from her.
Nelson Wright: C'mon, Billy Mahoney. C'mon... Gimme your best shot. I dare ya. I fuckin' dare ya.
Nelson Wright: Wake up you little shit, you got company!
Rachel: See you soon.
Nelson Wright: Philosophy failed. Religion failed. Now it's time for medical science to try.
David Labraccio: You should have told us, Nelson.
Nelson Wright: You wouldn't have done it.
David Labraccio: At least we would've had a choice!!!
David Labraccio: [screaming at a religious stained-glass portrait] I'm sorry.. we *trespassed* on your... *fucking* territory. God! I'm *sorry*!

Congratulations!

[lee7guy]

I will send them a copy of Dean R Koontz "Hideaway" as a congratulatory gift. :)

Gotta Love Indirection

[OzPeter]

A story is posted on Slashdot (US)
Of the Sydney Morning Herald (Australia)
Reporting a story in the New Scientist (England)
Of a bunch of scientists at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston (US)

Can we add a few more levels of indirection here??

Such as..

[Channard]

.. 'Er, why do you want to eat my brains?'

I have a business idea

[mnmn]

I'll start a company that will freeze people and keep them in safe storage for a defined period of time for a maintenance fee. People could keep money in their savings account and freeze themselves for 10 or 100 years, and wake up to collect their money. It'd feel like a long nights sleep and winning the lottery afterwards.

But they'll have to make sure the money is in the right place, with enough interest to pull them ahead of the rest of the country/world, else its all in vain. Therefore we provide long-term financial services too. :)

I suggest customers buy lots of real-estate around cities with major natural resources and good weather. Hopefully they wont wake right after WWIII to realize their lands cost nothing.

Invesing in gold is not a bad idea either for the long term.

My freezer can take 2 persons. Who wants to be first??

Re:I have a business idea

[Anonymous Coward]

...so I wake up, stagger down the corridor to the nearest payphone and ring my bank for a balance:
"Your balance is .." (tremble)
"two hundred ..." (what? - only a measly two hundred..)
"... and sixty three million, seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars 32 cents." (wow..)
"BEEP BEEP BEEP Please insert one million dollars for the next three minutes ..."

More interesting headline would have been:

[geekoid]

"Doctors from 1742 Claim Suspended Animation Success"

I've been doing this for years

[noidentity]

Just open browser preferences and check "Disable GIF animation".