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RIAA Sues Woman Who Has Never Used a Computer

boarder8925 writes "Marie Lindor, a home health aide who has never bought, used, or even turned on a computer in her life, was sued by the RIAA in Brooklyn federal court for using an 'online distribution system' to 'download, distribute, and/or make available for distribution' plaintiff's music files. She has requested a pre-motion conference in anticipation of making a summary judgment motion dismissing the complaint and awarding her attorneys fees under the Copyright Act."

28 of 637 comments (clear)

  1. Two words, please!!!! by hummassa · · Score: 5, Funny

    Punitive Damages !!!!

    --
    It's better to be the foot on the boot than the face on the pavement. ~~ tkx Kadin2048
    1. Re:Two words, please!!!! by Stephen+Samuel · · Score: 5, Funny
      She's not using a computer. She's not downloading porn^w music illegally. This means that she's denying the RIAA the right -- the right(!) to sue her for illegally downloading music.

      This is costing them income and thus profit.

      Them's fightin' words!

      --
      Free Software: Like love, it grows best when given away.
  2. That's pretty shocking. by montyzooooma · · Score: 5, Funny

    I mean she's NEVER used a computer?

    1. Re:That's pretty shocking. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Me neither.

    2. Re:That's pretty shocking. by Dystopian+Rebel · · Score: 5, Funny

      As improbable as it may seem, there remain some people who exist outside of the modern economy.

      I, for example, have never used a lawyer.

      --
      Rich And Stupid is not so bad as Working For Rich And Stupid.
    3. Re:That's pretty shocking. by BarryNorton · · Score: 5, Funny
      I mean she's NEVER used a computer?
      I know... like, how the hell does she pirate music and have meaningless arguments with strangers?
    4. Re:That's pretty shocking. by Fred_A · · Score: 4, Funny

      Well, I had a lawyer but it caught a virus and it crashed, so I switched to Linux.

      --

      May contain traces of nut.
      Made from the freshest electrons.
    5. Re:That's pretty shocking. by tommten · · Score: 5, Funny

      In corporate America, The lawyers use you!

      couldn't let that one slip by :p

      --
      - I choked on the red pill and now I'm stuck in limbo
  3. Re:RIAA's investigative methods by n54 · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Doesn't this prove something about the RIAA's investigative methods?"

    1. Rip pages out of telephone directory
    2. Pin to wall as darts target
    3. Throw dart
    4. Sue based on the result
    5. Profit!!!
    (6. Repeat)

    A tried and true business method :)

    --
    this comment is provided "as is" and without any express or implied legibility or congruity [...]
  4. Don't jump to conclusions by commodoresloat · · Score: 5, Funny

    This woman does laundry a lot and has no dryer, so she hangs her clothes to dry. When the RIAA said she was using an "online distribution system" to make plaintiff's music files available, they were not referring to a computer; what they meant was that she is often heard whistling copyrighted songs while she hangs clothes on the line; hence, "online distribution system." Typical slashbots rush to this criminal's defense when it is clear she was openly and shamelessly stealing music and she was caught red-handed. Meanwhile, the RIAA music executives are being deprived of a living (or at least of a third yacht) thanks to the lawless actions of such criminals. Eventually this will kill music, as the RIAA warned us about home taping so long ago -- why would an artist bother creating or recording new songs when any old lady can just come by forty years later and whistle it without paying the company that distributes your cds a dime?

    1. Re:Don't jump to conclusions by Loconut1389 · · Score: 5, Funny

      her neighbor listens too, thus, public exhibition- an even more severe offense.

  5. hasn't used a computer yet by pintomp3 · · Score: 5, Funny

    but 3 albino kids soaking in water told the RIAA that this woman was planning on buying a computer to pirate music so they sent tom cruise after her. thank god for these pre-emptive lawsuits!

  6. It just goes to show you ... by DrJimbo · · Score: 5, Funny
    ... nobody expects the RIAA inquisition!

    Perhaps this is part of a campaign to instill fear in the hearts of the "guilty" by first stringing up a few obviously innocent people.

    --
    We don't see the world as it is, we see it as we are.
    -- Anais Nin
  7. Lost profits! by Nephrite · · Score: 5, Funny

    Seriously, if she never used a computer then she didn't buy any media or software, so media producers lost profits. That's even worse than pirates 'cuz hardware manufacutrers lose profits either! Jail her now.

  8. Re:RIAA's investigative methods by Plunky · · Score: 4, Funny
    Well, I'm not going to inquire what kind of social life *you* have if you claim to know plenty of 80 year olds in nursing homes..

    but funny aside, I am half that age and I listen to the radio, I prefer it to TV too!

  9. Re:TV License Parallel by 15Bit · · Score: 5, Funny
    I remember a friend got a uk speeding ticket with a similar absence of checks. The events went along the lines of:

    1. Fixed penalty ticket arrives.

    2. Friend posts back a denial that he was not at the stated place on the stated day.

    3. System replies, stating that his blue whatnot car with registration plate XYZ was clearly photographed by a speed camera at given location. Please see included picture.

    4. Friend replies again, stating again that he was nowhere the place and could they please review included picture of Red MOTORCYCLE, registration XYZ.

    5. Silence.

  10. Re:RIAA's investigative methods by rolfwind · · Score: 4, Funny
    He hinted that it was in their interessed to create such absurd cases so their "hunt for pirates" stayed in the news. If nothing like that happens, people will forget the whole thing and start downloading again, as the papers will not print headlines "RIAA still hunting!" a few month after the first anouncements.


    That's it! I want to sue the RIAA for deliberately trying to cause global warming!

    Proven past refute by my religion:
    http://www.seanbonner.com/blog/archives/001857.php
  11. Cease and Desist by commodoresloat · · Score: 5, Funny
    RIAA: 'la la la - I can't hear you!'

    Dear Steve:

    Greetings. I represent the RIAA. The song "la la la - I can't hear you!" is copyrighted by BMG, an RIAA member corporation. Your appropriation of the lyrics without permission of the copyright holder is in direct violation of Title 17 USC 101-810. Indeed, your transmission of said lyrics over the internet constitutes a distribution of copyrighted material, and your use of the "online distribution system" known as "slashdot" for your criminal activity amounts to conspiracy to commit copyright infringement. Moreover, the use of the "moderator" system to enhance the visibility and thus the distribution of our client's intellectual property multiplies the damages significantly. Please cease and desist in the use and distribution of our client's property or face legal action.

  12. Re:TV License Parallel by Gordonjcp · · Score: 4, Funny

    I know someone who regularly gets parking tickets, speeding fines and London "congestion charge" tickets posted to him. This is, of course, traced to him through the vehicle's registration number. The vehicle in question is an old tractor, which lives in a hedge on his farm, and indeed has done for 20 years or so.

    You'd think they'd be able to catch the black BMW with the same registration number as a 1950s Fordson tractor, wouldn't you?

  13. That's easy by Savage-Rabbit · · Score: 5, Funny

    I know... like, how the hell does she pirate music and have meaningless arguments with strangers?

    You join either the Democrat or Republican parties and attend the party congress. You will get into plenty of meaningless arguments although some say the the patriotic music offered at these events tends to be a bit cheesy. If you want to get serious about meaningless arguments you can also run for the Senate. Be warned it is an expensive hobby and you have to have your moral backbone and conscience surgically removed.

    --
    Only to idiots, are orders laws.
    -- Henning von Tresckow
  14. World's fastest tractor :) by abelian · · Score: 5, Funny
    A couple of weeks ago in England: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/south_west/462695 2.stm

    A farmer from Wiltshire got a penalty notice accusing him of doing 85mph on his tractor in south Wales.

    His tractor, however, has a top speed of 26mph and has never been to Wales. Simple case of mistaken identity: automatic numberplate reader gets the plate wrong.

    The farmer's quote:

    "It's a good tractor, but not that good."

  15. Hooray! Field Day! by l3prador · · Score: 5, Funny

    Lawyer: "When's the last time you used a computer?"
    Ms. Lindor: "Actually, I've never used one in my life."
    RIAA Lawyer: "OBJECTION, relevance!"

  16. Grammer Nazis by Spock+the+Baptist · · Score: 5, Funny

    When out in public how can you tell a Grammar Nazi by just looking at them?

    Simple, look for an adhesive label on their lapel with an upsidedown lower case 'e' on it.

    By their schwa-stickers ye shall know them.

    --
    "Oh drat these computers, they're so naughty and so complex, I could pinch them." --Marvin the Martian
  17. Re:RIAA's investigative methods by MECC · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Name similarity."

    That's how the terminator did it....

    --
    "We are all geniuses when we dream"
    - E.M. Cioran
  18. I get the impression.... by cbiltcliffe · · Score: 5, Funny

    this is just the ISP's playing games with the RIAA.

    RIAA: Give us the user of this IP address!!!
    ISP: Why?
    RIAA: We have the right to commit murder to prevent copying of our intellectual property under the DMCA! This IP was trading files! Give us the name or we'll kill you!
    ISP: [flips through phonebook.....] Ok, Ok...it was....Joe Schlabotnick, of 123 Main Street, Fukyusville, Montana.
    RIAA: Thank you. Well...not really. You should consider yourselves honoured to give us the information of your cruminal customer scum!
    ISP: Oh, we are....we are... [giggling in background]
    RIAA: SUESUESUESUESUESUE!!!! [Calls Joe Schlabotnick]
    Joe: Hello?
    RIAA: We know you are stealing our music using Napster! [whispering in background...What?...that's legal now....ok, then what's still illegal?......] using KaZaA, eMule, LimeWire, and Bearshare, all at once! You have no chance to survive make your time!
    Joe Schlabotnick: Huh? It couldn't have been me. I don't even own a computer.
    RIAA: What happen? Someone set us up the bomb!

    --
    "City hall" in German is "Rathaus" Kinda explains a few things......
  19. Re:I'm starting to think the RIAA picks at random. by MarkGriz · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'm starting to think the RIAA "investigators" pick people at random from the phone book ...

    Indeed, and once we see a lawsuit against Navin R. Johnson, well know for sure.

    --
    Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
  20. Re:I'm starting to think the RIAA picks at random. by Sexc0w · · Score: 5, Funny

    RIAA Exec: "The new phone books are here! The new phone books are here!"

  21. Re:I'm starting to think the RIAA picks at random. by mrchaotica · · Score: 5, Funny
    F*** the political correctness BS.
    LOL! You're railing against political correctness, yet you're censoring your own expletives? If you really don't give a fuck about that political correctness bullshit, spell them out!

    ; )
    --

    "[Regarding the 'cloud,'] ownership was what made America different than Russia." -- Woz