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Using Barges to Fight Global Warming
An anonymous reader writes "Dr. Peter Flynn, Poole Chair in Management for Engineers in the University of Alberta Department of Mechanical Engineering, has developed what he would like to consider a fall back plan to help combat the effects of global warming, in northern Europe. Flynn proposes using 'more than 8,000 barges moving into the northern ocean in the fall, speeding the initial formation of sea ice by pumping a spray of water into the air, and then, once the ice is formed, pumping ocean water on top of it, trapping the salt in the ice and reaching a thickness of seven meters. In the spring, water would continue to be pumped over the ice to melt it, forming a vast amount of cold, salty water that sinks and adds to the down-welling current to re-strengthen it.'"
When we're done using barges to fight global warming, maybe we can use canoes to fight leprechauns!
Narrator: Fortunately, our handsomest politicians came up with a cheap, last-minute way to combat global warming. Ever since 2063 we simply drop a giant ice cube into the ocean every now and then.
Suzie: Just like Daddy puts in his drink every morning. And then he gets mad.
Narrator: Of course, since the greenhouse gases are still building up, it takes more and more ice each time. Thus solving the problem once and for all.
Suzie: But-
Narrator: ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!
Leela: Well, we just need one of those big ice cubes. Someone should call the losers who are supposed to deliver it.
[phone rings]
Hello?
Read Pynchon.
At least they are not planning to use trees to fight global warming.
But that would involve something other than procrastination, and the public is famous for procrastination. I have an hypothesis to account for this, I call it the Conservation of Procrastination. It states that all conservatives procrastinate. I have a second theory I've added onto this called the Liberal Procrastination Hypothesis which states that all liberals also procrastinate. A fellow researcher into procrastination has developed his hypothesis called Universal Procrastination, stating that everyone procrastinates. So, according to these scientific conclusions, your idea is unfeasible.
Grammar Nazi
This sounds similar to the solution in Futurama episode #57, "Crimes of the Hot" where they used to drop a gigantic ice cube in the ocean. First Episode of Season 5
Why not just leave the refrigerator open? See, Mom was WRONG all those years! If all the kid's left the refrigerator open, it would cool the world! BWAHAHA!
Wait... you mean the world would actually get WARMER? BAH! The thermal engineers are trying to confuse me!
I'm sure politicans are all following over themselves trying to spend 50billion dollars on this idea. I guess I'll stop building my house up on 10ft stilts .... i'm sure this will stop the massive climate change and prevent ocean level increases.
actually I am happy to see you, however that is in fact a banana in my pocket.
5 Years Later, on Slashdot:
"Due to all the additionnal greenhouse gases created by having 8,000 barges continuously circumventing the oceans, the Alberta professor now suggests to add more barges... to curb the effect on global warming the old ones created."
Hot damn, I never thought of it that way! Thanks for calling us on that before we went through the trouble of sending several thousand barges out to sea.
Sincerely,
Dr. Peter Flynn
If we blew up the Sun, we wouldn't have to worry about Global Warming.
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.
I have an even better idea. Why don't we use all of the extra CO2 in our atomosphere to make dry ice? Everyone knows that dry ice is way better than water ice at cooling things down, so it will be much better for cooling the planet down. We can even dump it in the ocean to replace the melting polar ice caps!
I was going to post some smart-ass/funny comment along the lines of...
go grab ebarge.com while its still available...
Then I checked and well... http://www.ebarge.com/
"Truth is much too complicated to allow anything but approximations"