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Nintendo DS Hurts The Children!

Posted by Zonk on from the hilarious-reporting-in-action dept.

GameSetWatch has a humorous lampoon of an ABC-6 Action News report on the dangers your child can face in the seedy world of Mario Kart. From the article: "We've been struggling in trying to figure out how kids can be 'lured into dangerous chat rooms' while using the Nintendo DS, considering that the DS's chat program, PictoChat, can not be used over the internet, and also keeping in mind that the only way to interact with a living being over the internet through your Nintendo DS is to do so through a game that supports Nintendo WiFi Connection, all of which require both parties to input 'friend codes' before they can play with each other."

8 of 107 comments (clear)

  1. Re:The report hasn't actually happened yet. by SetupWeasel · · Score: 4, Informative

    Oh yeah, here is the offending ABC 6 website.

    I love the picture of the evil pink DS with the subliminal dollar sign.

  2. Understandable. by cgenman · · Score: 4, Funny

    The article is right. This is completely preposterous.

    BTW, anyone who wants to win a free Nintendo DS* just visit AOL Teen Chat and send me your A/S/L.

    *Free Nintendo DS not guaranteed

    --
    The ______ Agenda
  3. Re:Oh somebody! by Spy+der+Mann · · Score: 4, Funny

    Won't somebody please think of the children!

    Trust me, in Feb 14, that's the LAST THING the couples want to think about! (But just wait 9 months... :P )

  4. Complaint form by Omega697 · · Score: 5, Informative

    Go here: http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?section=stationi nfo&id=3293957 To file a complaint. I did. We need to hold these reporters' feet to the fire. Insiste they cease their fearmongering and shoddy journalism.

    1. Re:Complaint form by some+guy+on+slashdot · · Score: 5, Insightful

      I sent them a "compliment" with a "tip" to the concerned mother, telling her to call the police or inform a manager if her child is meeting predators in Pictochat, because they have to be close by to communicate in that program. I also told her to tell her kid not to give her friend code out. I was cheery and "helpful" so maybe that'll help them realize what a bunch of idiots they are for running that story.

      I honestly can't believe they found a "security expert" who was willing to ignore the fact that it was technically impossible for someone to incite the described scenario over the internet. He lied to get on TV, so, shame on him.

      Also, I wish they'd stop saying that the DS is intended to be a childrens' toy. It certainly is something small kids would enjoy, and it certainly is a toy, but a lot of adults have them and enjoy them and get together at PAX to draw penises at each other while getting smashed. It's not like a Leappad or something.

  5. Re:Uh... Foot Icon? by barawn · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I mean, reading the article, it's obvious it's a parody.

    I think they know.

    lampoon (lm-pn') pronunciation
    n.

          1. A written attack ridiculing a person, group, or institution. See synonyms at caricature.
          2. A light, good-humored satire.

    However, the original article from ABC is, in fact, serious. It's also so ridiculously inaccurate, it's scary. Quoth I: "Predators are using Nintendo DS anywhere in the world. And it's going to be really hard to track down those individuals because of course, they're on a wireless network from a hotspot such as a coffee shop." which is totally false - as PictoChat only works DS-to-DS, which means the person they're talking to is a few feet away.

    I dunno about you, but I think I can track a DS user who's a few feet away. I'm probably going to look for the guy holding a Nintendo DS who's not me.

    But then again, this is why I don't watch local news. To paraphrase the Daily Show, "Is the media too sensationalist? Find out tonight, in our no-holds-barred expose that just might save your family's life."

  6. Re:The report hasn't actually happened yet. by Loconut1389 · · Score: 4, Interesting

    I left them a nice comment via their contact us link:

    Regarding the Nintendo DS story- the 3 lines at the bottom of the story from Nintendo invalidate the entire premise of the story- yet parents won't notice it and will either boycott the DS or potentially write Nintendo letters. While I am routinely disgusted to see the kids that ride my bus glued into these things 24-7, this story either has an ulterior motive to malign Nintendo, or is truly just misinformed and not listening to the people who would know - Nintendo. If someone is within 65 feet of your child, you've got bigger problems.

  7. Re:The report hasn't actually happened yet. by SetupWeasel · · Score: 4, Funny

    You are way more mature than me. I asked them if there weren't any pretty missing white women they'd be better off covering.