Slashdot Mirror
Uwe Boll Smash!
Eurogamer has an interview with opportunistic license-killer Uwe Boll. In the interview, which is dominated by Boll's anger with game fans, he states that he's unlikely to see new game licenses for movies after he butchers Far Cry. From the interview: "In fact, it's not just confusing Boll - it's putting him off the whole thing all together. 'I won't say that I won't acquire another videogame licence in the future. But I'm not so eager to do it any more, to be honest. After Far Cry, maybe I'll go away from videogame-based movies. And everybody can be really happy about it.'"
Ten times zero is still zero...
Scene: CmdrTaco is sitting at his desk looking utterly depressed.
... ... it's too easy for them.
Enter: Zonk.
Zonk: Hey there, sport, why do you look so down?
*CmdrTaco remains silent*
Zonk: Still depressed about how your Valentine's date actually turned out to be a 38 year old Slashdot fan who still lives with his mom?
CmdrTaco: [dejectedly] Yeah
Zonk: Well, by golly, I know what'll cheer you up! Another Uwe Boll story on Slashdot!
CmdrTaco: Nah, the readers are tired of making fun of the same damned guy over and over
Zonk: Oh, come on! Then we'll put it in sectional content!
*Zonk finds an Uwe Boll interview that he hasn't posted before and runs the story*
Zonk: There! That should cheer you up! Just sit back and laugh as the replies roll in.
My work here is dung.
The real problem is that he doesn't even know why people hate him - which leads me to assume that he doesn't even read the criticisms and reviews of his movies. Well, I hope Uwe Boll reads this one, and it might clear it up for him. The problem is that he's obviously not a gamer. He doesn't seem to care about the game properties that he makes movies for, and he alienates the fans of those games, and all gamers in general. Gamers despise him because he seems to be hanging on to the coat tails of game licenses to make a quick buck and run - and he keeps doing it.
House of the Dead the game was about a HOUSE infested with zombies, and some detective type people going in and shooting zombies - not a great or original premise, but that's the game. That's what he should have worked around to create a better plot. House of the Dead the movie, though, was about a bunch of college kids who go to a rave on an island with zombies. How is that anything like the slim plot that was already in the game?
Alone in the Dark the game had a similar plot to House of the Dead in that there's a HOUSE and there's zombies - except this one had more potential to make a decent horror film, as even the name implies. But, Uwe Boll again scrapped everything that made the game what it was - except for zombies and monsters, and he made it into more of an action film.
In the interview, Uwe Boll complains that games aren't known for their stories anyway. Maybe he should play them once in awhile instead of hunting for the cheapest license he could sink his fangs into. Maybe get a license for Grim Fandango, or Beyond Good and Evil, or Pandora Directive, or Gabriel Knight instead of some mindless shooter, and he'll have more material to work off of. However, as his history has shown to not follow the source material at all (however slim that material may be), I wouldn't trust him with those licenses either.
If someone took Harry Potter and turned it into a teen comedy road picture taking place in the US, people would be pissed. So Boll shouldn't be surprised that fans are pissed that he doesn't stay true to his source material.
Don't trust a bull's horn, a doberman's tooth, a runaway horse or me.