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Know Thy Bosses
The Guardian Gamesblog has a piece on knowing your enemy to better pwn him. Specifically, they go through some tried and true rules about surviving boss battles. From the article: "If the boss stops, panic. Bosses usually move about - when they stop it means they're about to unleash their signature move, the aforementioned fist or laser blast. Try to avoid being parallel to them when they stop. Unless, of course, it's the sort of boss who blasts the whole screen apart from the thin corridor directly in front of them. In this case stay where you are."
When I saw the headline, and even after reading the first few sentences of the intro, I thought this was about the sort of "boss" that employs you, not the video game variety. And I had to wonder, why isn't my boss cool enough to have laser blast?
This is really the article I needed to see. I've been trying to defeat Tom Nook for ownership of my house for the longest time. At the part where he pulls out the rockets and blasts the whole screen, I kept trying to hit him with my shovel. Now I see that if I had just stood there and let him set his own fur on fire in his rocket frenzy, I would have won. Well, time to buy some medicine and try again!
I think these strategies can be applied to real bosses or PHBs. For example:
-Keep moving.
If you aren't where they expect you to be, they can't ask you to come into work on Saturday.
-If the boss stops, panic.
S/he is likely to give you a mundane task that is below your abilities or ask you a stupid question.
-Scan for weak spots.
If you know their weak spot, you can always bring it up in a time of dire need.
-The quarter rule.
At the end of a quarter expect your assigned tasks to multiply, there are deadlines to be met.
-Take a break.
The water cooler is an excellent place to share boss strategies with your comrades.
In Doom 2, I remember turning off clipping, then I found John Romero's head behind the boss, and chainsawed away. In Hexen, I just stayed behind a pillar and fired at the boss between shots, like a wild west movie. Wasn't really fun but I nailed him in the end. Very n00b I know, but I got the job done. Killing bosses in 80s RPGs like Ultima or Bard's Tale wasn't just fun, but it always felt glorious afterwards.
From the Article: Keep moving. Whatever you do, don't stand still. Even for a second. This is the only cue an end-of-level boss needs to swipe at you with a giant fist or ...
...assign you to a doomed project.
>Scan for weak spots. Every boss has one...
... usually vulnerable to the Sycophanty Manouevre, but occasionally old-fashioned blackmail can work, too.
--- Attorneys Assisting Citizen-Soldiers & Families -
1. Save the state of the emulator at the beginning of the boss level.
2. Try to defeat him.
3. On failure, load the state previously saved, until you succeed.
4. Post this advice on Slashdot as a numbered list, and resist the temptation of writing 5. ??? 6. Profit!!! mostly that it would only make yourself sound dumb.
You just got troll'd!
This is so true. I've managed to avoid Trevor Belmont's attacks (Castlevania: Curse of Darkness) just by reading his movements. When he unleashes the whip attack, I dodge, wait 1/10 of a second, then dodge again until he stops (don't do the double-dodge, there is an awful delay when you do the second dodge, and he'll get you there).
In most fighting games (if not all), the boss usually makes some move indicating what he's going to do. A good example is the final boss in Prince of Persia. When the boss moves his wings to grab a pillar and throw it at you, you should roll in the opposite direction.
So it's all about dodging... this is why defeating Julius (in Aria of Sorrow) was so difficult, he wasn't moving like a boss, but like a player. And even then you could decipher some of his moves , just by watching the color of the glow before he throws a subweapon at you.
"I see. So, it's the designers fault if a person can't beat the game simply because the final boss is actually _supposed_ to be just that, a final challenge? [...] I just hope that this whole story is a joke, because if it isn't, society has failed "
Dude, a game's _only_ purpose is to entertain you. That's it. If it doesn't, then, yes, it is the game designer's failure. It's that simple.
Repeat after me: I _don't_ have some duty to finish non-fun games. I _don't_ have to overcome any challenge if it's not fun. And I certainly don't have to put up with crap tricks to make a short game seem longer, in a non-fun "ha ha, we'll just make you reload 100 times" way. And I _don't_ have any kind of duty to sponsor games I don't like.
There is good game design, and there is crap game design, and there is just game design which doesn't match my tastes. My purpose is to entertain myself and relax. If a game doesn't do that for me, then yes, I won't think I failed the game, it's the game designer that didn't catter to my tastes. And I have no duty to spend hours finishing it, nor to sponsor it. Good luck to the designers making a living out of the people whose tastes they did catter to, but if they want my money too, they better catter to my demographic segment too.
And yes, that does apply to bosses too, end-game or otherwise. If overcoming one turns into a non-fun activity, of the kind that makes tax forms seem more fun, then yes, that game failed to entertain me. It's that simple.
It's the same as with any other product. I don't have to watch a crap movie, if I don't like the genre, or if I don't like their "Noooooo" scene in the trailer, or for whatever other reason I choose. I don't have to put up with a car I don't like, I don't have to watch a sports game if I don't like that sport, and I don't have to wear an analog or digital watch if I like the other kind more, etc. For whatever reason. If _I_ don't like the product, then _I_ don't have to put up with it or blow my money on it. So just in the same spirit, I have no duty to spend hours on finishing a game I find crap, or overcoming some poorly designed game element that's no fun. It's that simple.
In a nutshell: it's just a game. If you think it's a society failure when people just want some entertainment and relaxation from a game, then you're taking it way too seriously. Go out some more, get some real life achievements instead, or join some 12 step group. It's just a game, not something you're duty- and honour-bound to achieve and overcome. Noone gives a fuck about your beating up a pixelated game boss, and certainly noone has a duty to do the same if they don't find it fun.
A polar bear is a cartesian bear after a coordinate transform.