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Will Apple Disappoint on 30th Anniversary?

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the omg-so-old-so-old dept.

An anonymous reader writes "We've seen the media get over-excited about an Apple launch before, but one CNET columnist is 'threatening suicide' if Apple don't announce something for their 30th Anniversary this Saturday. CNET is concerned at the lack of any news from Apple: 'You'd guess that Steve Jobs will at least have to walk out onto the lawn in Cupertino, light a few fireworks and make some whooping noises. It's that or risk an international incident.' Is Apple going to keep a low profile for their 30th?"

8 of 321 comments (clear)

  1. Suicide Note? by eldavojohn · · Score: 5, Funny
    We've seen the media get over-excited about an Apple launch before, but one CNET columnist is 'threatening suicide' if Apple don't announce something for their 30th Anniversary this Saturday.
    I wonder what application he'll use for his suicide note?

    I hope Chris Stevens and his wife don't have any anniversaries coming up. I guess she could always 'forget one' after taking out a lucrative life insurance policy on him.
    --
    My work here is dung.
  2. Wait by pHatidic · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Is there even a story here? This is possibly the most content-free Slashdot post ever.

  3. Didn't you know? by DebianDog · · Score: 5, Funny
    Apple is going to go OUT OF BUSINESS!

    Said Steve Jobs, "It has been a good 30 year run and, unlike most companies, we want to close the doors while we are still profitable"

  4. Apple 30th Anniversary commerative one-day sale by Randall311 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I would settle for a one day sale of 30% in celebration of 30 years. Every Apple product 30% off, then I would buy a MacBook Pro. They at least need to do an April Fool's joke. Like "We're making OS X available to install legally on all generic x86 harware." ... Gotcha! April Fools!!

  5. Not Quite... by waif69 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Apple plans on selling their portable computers to Lenovo and the desktop computers to Dell, following the leads of IBM and Alienware. Apple will then take the money from those two deals and purchase apple music thereby bringing a long-time battle to a close. Of course this will result in Beatles music being available in iTunes for 9cents per song, to spite Yoko Ono.

    Don't shoot the messenger, the voices told me this, they really did.

  6. Re:Oh, cry me a river. by Thud457 · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Apple Computer - proudly going out of business for thirty years"!

    --

    the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff

  7. Alternative to Fireworks by gluteus · · Score: 5, Funny

    Steve should bring out a wheelbarrow of newspaper and magazine articles about "beleaguered Apple" or "Apple going out of business" and light them up in the parking lot. And maybe send a get well card to Michael Dell.

  8. How thoughtful of them by Guppy06 · · Score: 5, Funny

    "but one CNET columnist is 'threatening suicide' if Apple don't announce something for their 30th Anniversary this Saturday."

    CNET? Heck, I'll chip in and buy the Kool-Aid!