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Alcatel and Lucent to Merge

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the come-together dept.

Cappella writes "It is confirmed. Alcatel and Lucent are combining to form a USD $25 billion entity. This marks a new wave of telecommunications company consolidation in the next few months to come." They first tried to work out a merger five years ago, but finally, at long last, it's come to fruition.

15 of 174 comments (clear)

  1. AT&T by HoosierPeschke · · Score: 5, Funny

    Soooooooo will they rename themselves Western Electric and merge with AT&T?

    --
    Mr. Universe: "They can't stop the signal, Mal. They can never stop the signal."
    1. Re:AT&T by Espectr0 · · Score: 3, Funny

      Since the new company will be headquartered in Paris, it would have to be French Electric.

      Don't worry. The US branch would be called Freedom Electric.

      --
      Open Source Java Web Forum with LDAP authentication
  2. Bets On The New Name by Draegonis · · Score: 2, Funny

    I was thinking "Lucatel". What else we got?

    1. Re:Bets On The New Name by C.A.+Nony+Mouse · · Score: 5, Funny

      Accident.

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      J
    2. Re:Bets On The New Name by stox · · Score: 4, Funny

      Lucatania, a perfect target for the Germans.

      --
      "To those who are overly cautious, everything is impossible. "
    3. Re:Bets On The New Name by cloudofstrife · · Score: 2, Funny

      I've heard Lucratel. Hopefully it won't set the expectations for the new company too high.

  3. sort of like Homer's catdog by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    loyalty of a cat + the cleanliness of a dog

  4. wtf? by Beuno · · Score: 2, Funny

    fruition???
    Common... you're really going to say "fruition"?

  5. AT LAST!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    ALCATEL 's years of secret toil have at long last paid off! -- finally, preparations for PHASE 2 of their nefarious plans are complete! Soon...yes, very soon now, the whole world will recall the name ALCATEL and tremble!!

    [To be continued...]

  6. Oh goody! by cubicledrone · · Score: 3, Funny

    $25 billion? That should be good for at least ten thousand layoffs. Middle managers are right now compliing lists of people who just bought homes or just re-financed. Hey, Bob over there just got a new car! Oh yeah, he's out with the first group.

    Layoffs for all! Bonuses and parties for the rest! THERE'S CAKE IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM!

    --
    Business isn't willing to pay for products, innovation and careers, so we get brands, mortgage commercials and layoffs.
  7. Re:Would you call this fruition?! by cubicledrone · · Score: 2, Funny

    Close to 9,000 jobs, or about 10% of the companies' workforce will lose their jobs as a result of the merger.

    Any MOTHER FUCKING QUESTIONS?

    Thank you.

    --
    Business isn't willing to pay for products, innovation and careers, so we get brands, mortgage commercials and layoffs.
  8. We sure hope they "get" plan9 by DrSkwid · · Score: 1, Funny

    After all, Glenda is drawn by Renee French.

    "Plan 9 from Bell Labs" the only OMG!!! Ponies OS.

    Seriously, we (the plan9 community - there could be up to 100 of us!) sure hope they "get" plan9.

    --
    There are places where the networks are not touching,and there are places where they are-Boeing's Lori Gunter
  9. Try Alcacent sir by zappepcs · · Score: 2, Funny

    The cure for all your telecommunications heartburn or upset stomach ???

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    Support NYCountryLawyer RIAA vs People
  10. Alcatel and Lucent to Merge, form Voltron by Gothmolly · · Score: 2, Funny

    Massive blackhole of suckitude to form, news at 11.

    Lets see, what do these guys do...
    make "winmodems"
    produce crappy PBX hardware
    offer "services" ...
    3) lose money!

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    I want to delete my account but Slashdot doesn't allow it.
  11. Re:Naperville by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Every worker will be given a crepe and a copy of jerry lewis's greatest hits. Every job title will change to "cheese eating surrender monkey" and all starbucks in naperville will be stocked with rude frenchman instead of rude teenagers. Everyone will be forced to grow curly mustaches and say "hambourger" instead of "hamburger". All workers will have to call all americans fat and lazy and stupid. Besides that, it will all be the exact same boring, monotonous work that you have grown accustomed to.