Slashdot Mirror
You Say You Want A Revolution?
rafemonkey writes "Looks like the first hard info on a revolution game has hit the internet. The game, from Ubisoft, is called Red Steel. It's a FPS where the Revo's positional controller takes the place of the mouse. And, for those of you that were worried, the graphics look nice." PointlessWasteofTime points out that it doesn't actually look like an FPS, but more of a GunCon title, in a piece called A FanBoy Intervention. Elite Bastards has a brief history of the Revolution console. From the Waste of Time article: "Look at the Red Steel screens again. Never mind that Ubisoft has a habit of publishing concept renders and claiming they're in-game screenshots, and never mind that shots like that in magazines tend to have usually been 'touched up' a bit. Just look at the screens, then look at the inset photos of the people pointing and shooting with their Rev controllers: Guys... it's just a freaking light gun game. Tell me it's not. This isn't a badass 'Halo killer.' It's next-gen Duck Hunt."
Judging by the first screen shot, Jake Gyllenhaal is a Revolution tester.
After all, a revolution is not a revolution without dancing.
'Every story, if continued long enough, ends in death.' --Ernest Hemingway
Look, you have to understand. If you want to be a "Halo Killer" (and every single game is a halo killer, these days! Don't bother judging the game on its own merits. The only question is, does it kill Halo?), you have to match the control scheme that made Halo popular. And that control scheme is: A clumsy replication of PC FPS controls shoehorned into a Dual Shock II workalike format.
After all, everyone knows that what made Halo popular was the radical and unnatural retraining that is required when you take a control scheme that was designed and perfected for a mouse and keyboard, and just jam it unceremoniously underneath two thumb-controlled joysticks and a maze of randomly positioned multicolored buttons. Unless Nintendo can replicate that kind of hand-eye coordination dissonance, they'll never get anywhere with their Halo killing, I mean console, business. My suggestion: They should duct-tape a cinderblock to the Revolution remote. Then everyone will just eat it right up!
Lawsuits abound involving the new Waichowski Brothers game, "Bouncing Duracell", in which children are encouraged to jump around while playing the game. A Chandeliers Manufacturers of America spokesperson was quoted as saying, "This game has caused us to rethink our product in order to prevent more wrongful death suits from falling glass. The inverted flip sequence especially has caused more innocent children to be impaled by our product than ever before."
Can we take a deep breath from the hype for a second and realize we're talking about a remote control here? I have one word for you about flipping and jumping: PowerPad.
Cuz duck hunt allowed you to do subtle things like tilt the gun and hold it gansta style?
check it
AirSpeak - http://itunes.com/apps/AirSpeak
At least its not a superscope. Good thing that didn't catch on, or we'd be a generation of one-eyed fiddler crabs.
What's wrong with a next gen Duck Hunt? I already know of a next gen Duck Hunt called "Halo 2". Replace the ducks with "covenant" and replace the laughing dog with a 12 year old on Xbox live constantly yelling "You are the gay!! I am kicking your ass!!" and you see my point.
HAX
THIS THING CAN TURN ON A DIME, MACROSSZERO STYLE ALSO FUCK BETA, ~NYORON
Slashdotters are unpredictable? The only thing unpredictable here seems to be the modding system, otherwise we're quite redundant. :)
Exactly, that's so lame when people do that.
(...waiting...)
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur.