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Why Is Data Mining Still A Frontier?
bbsguru writes "How much do we know that we still don't know? A story in The Register points out that little has changed since Francis Bacon proposed combining knowledge to learn new things 400 years ago, despite all the computer power we now have. Scientific (and other) data is still housed in unrelated collections, waiting for some enterprising Relational Database Programmer to unlock the keys to understanding. Is RDBMS still a Brave New Frontier, or will Google make the art obsolete once they finish indexing everything?"
Thy rectum cum, thy anus be stretched, on Earth as it is in Flint, MI
From: Kilgore Trout, C.E.O.
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Courtesy of Al-Qaeda. That's right. I dare you to visit this URL. Your reluctance is proof that you're more interested in your gaz-guzzling SUV, over-sized mortgage for your hovel in your lower class neighborhood , and your career as a corporate drone in the, that's right, (if you are literate), the UNITED GULAGS OF AMERICA.
- Fire the Bums
PRESS BRIEFING BY SCOTT McCLELLAN THAT IS ACTUALLY A WONDROUS FANTASMO-MAGICAL DREAM INDUCED BY EATING SPICY TACOS
Officious White House Transcript
[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]
(Sounds of xylophones and harps; sleep descends over Scott McClellan)
SEC. McCLELLAN: Good afternoon everyone.
ENTIRE PRESS CORPS: GOOD AFTERNOON SCOTT!
SEC. McCLELLAN: We have quite a lot to talk about, so let's get started...
REPORTER #1: That's a nice tie, Scott.
SEC. McCLELLAN: You think so?
REPORTER #2: Really brings out those beautiful eyes of yours.
REPORTER #3: Like these flowers.
SEC. McCLELLAN: Aw, man. You shouldn't have! What's the occasion?
REPORTER #1: Occasion? Why, we're merely celebrating another day of listening to you dispense the unvarnished truth, Scott. Without you, how would the American people understand the myriad complex issues the White Houses wrestles with every single day? Your irreproachable sense of integrity, character, and patriotism is a daily inspiration to us all.
SEC. McCLELLAN: Thanks. You're the best press corps ever. Am I blushing?
REPORTER #2: Oh ho ho! A little!
HELEN THOMAS: Scott?
SEC McCLELLAN: Yes Helen?
HELEN THOMAS: Can you ever forgive me for being such a sour old cunt?
SEC. McCLELLAN: Shucks. Well, when you put it that way, sure I can Helen! But let's move on, shall we? I don't have much to report other than the economy is stronger than it's ever been, and-
REPORTER #3: Sure is! I just got another credit card offer in the mail; can you believe that? It's like free money! And I'm going to invest part of it Lotto, and therefore, back into the economy. It'll trickle down! Much the way Wall Street insiders are going to trickle down on me, any minute now.
SEC. McCLELLAN: That's right! Let's see... the Administration would like to reiterate how much it "mi gustas" the heck out of the Mexican people. We will strengthen our borders with barbed wire and pitbulls, yet the cost of a strawberry margarita will not go up one cent. That is a Presidential promise.
(APPLAUSE & CHEERS)
REPORTER #2: Sounds reasonable to me!
REPORT #1: Scott! True or false: Iran is minutes away from being able to nuke Kansas City?
SEC. McCLELLAN: I'm going to go with True on that one!
(WARM, JOVIAL LAUGHTER CASCADES THROUGH BRIEFING ROOM)
REPORTER #3: Not to ruin the mood, Scott. But I have a question regarding the alleged rumor that the President himself gave the go ahead to leak classified information in an attempt to punish people who disagreed with White House policy. I mean, this is total claptrap, right?
SEC. McCLELLAN: That couldn't be further from the truth. I'm shocked and a little taken aback guys...
REPORTER #3: I'm sorry. I had to ask. I mean, it sounds absurd that this Administration would ever be dishonest about anything. You've been on the straight and narrow about everything: from WMD, Hurricane Katrina, Plamegate, Jack Abramoff, and so-called illegal wiretapping. Why start lying now?
SEC. McCLELLAN: Exactly. After all, there has been no leak. The President would never endanger national security just to settle a score with a fat, loudmouth asshole diplomat and his frigid, secret agent whore wife. That said, the President can declassify whatever he wants; for instance, later today he's releasing the nuclear launch codes and all the Congressional Democrats' social security numbers!
REPORTER #1: I don't see the problem with that at all!
REPORTER #2: He is the Pr