Slashdot Mirror
Is Corporate Speak Invading Your IT Department?
Worse than Political Correctness asks: "With several years of system administration under my belt, I am moving toward a slightly different role at my company. I am going from a straight system administration role to more of a high-level systems architect for a mid-sized company. There have been several promotions in our department recently, and use of this slang is growing faster than a Dave Chappell bit. Right now, I feel like unless one studies and masters the use of these pretentious buzzwords and phrases, he/she will be run over by people with worse ideas but a nicer-sounding delivery. Is corporate speak a necessary evil? "
"I have noticed that as I deal more and more with upper management, selling them on products and direction, as well as with hardware/software vendors, the dreaded corporate speak slang is becoming part of my daily life. No longer is there more work to fill an already full plate, now there are 'opportunities for growth'. There are no company layoffs, there are 'realignments'. Difficult people are merely referred to as 'more challenging' than others. I dislike this non-speak as much as any person bred from a technical background. However, in order to match my new colleagues in the give and take of business life, phrases like 'functions', 'deliverables', and 'value-add' are finding their way into my vocabulary."
Is this just something one has to cope with in order to climb the corporate ladder? If you've found yourself in this position, what things did you do to cope?
Is this just something one has to cope with in order to climb the corporate ladder? If you've found yourself in this position, what things did you do to cope?
If you've found yourself in this position, what things did you do to cope?
I cursed a lot. Instead of calling somebody "more challenging", say he's an "asshole". It helps.
- Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set him on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.
Start thinking "outside the box". You need to take a more solution-oriented approach to your problem and focus on your deliverables.
I think you'll find that if you shift your paradigm a little bit, your growth intensity will increase by orders of magnitude.
Just create a win-win big picture for yourself and you're success strategy will manifest itself with "positive team margins" for everyone around you.
Dont YOU worry about blank, let ME worry about blank... or Blank? BLANK!?! you are not looking at the big picture.
The phrase "more better" is acceptable English. suck it grammar Nazis
Is corporate speak a necessary evil?
Nah, dude.
There you are, staring at me again.
Surely you meant to write "ghastly", didn't you?
You merely have to remember that objective considerations of contemporary phenomena compel the conclusion that success or failure in competitive activities exhibits no tendency to be commensurate with innate capacity, but that a considerable element of the unpredictable must invariably be taken into account.
Liberty in your lifetime
You forgot "And look like a totally hot MILF the entire time." I think that HP might have downsized, but I certainly was feeling upsized whenever I got a gander at her. Yummay.
Fascism trolls keeping me up every night. When I starts a preachin', he HITS ME WITH HIS REICH!
I have a picture that I can barely make out through the sticky goodness layered on top. God I love that woman. Ok bye now me and Carly have another date.
Fascism trolls keeping me up every night. When I starts a preachin', he HITS ME WITH HIS REICH!
"I don't have a drinking problem, I have a drinking opportunity for excellence!"
Just yell "SPEAK THE KING'S ENGLISH! Speak the good king's English, I command thee fool!" whilst beating the perpetrator about the head, neck and chest with a rolled up TPS report.
I'm glad you pinged Slashdot about this messaging challenge so we could touch base and send a heads up. This kind of meme is gaining mind-share. The metrics are showing more than just a blip, it's a sea-change!
Moving forward, I think it's clear that we need to leverage our wins and make them part of the overall story. I know that we can wrestle this problem to the ground and dominate several emerging ecosystems if we prioritise and deliver best-practices through the channel. Execution is key.
I really need your front-end alignment on this! Can you get your people on board?
Rich And Stupid is not so bad as Working For Rich And Stupid.
"If you can point me to a document or documents standardizing terms like "Web 2.0", "enterprise", "solution", "mission-critical", "partner", etc., then I will admit my criticism of corporate speak is wrong."
Lol n00b! Like you even understand the Internets.
Web 2.0: This is when Microsoft made the new Internets with Internet Explorer. Because the bearded old people who made Web 1.0 all died and no one can understand UNIX any more without them.
enterprise: Ever heard of Star Trak????? This was teh first shuttle spaceship, it lasted 3 years out a five year mission then crashed into Florida.
solution: if you had contacts you would realize this is what you put in your eyes to keep them wet, but nope you sure are to be a four-eyed geek! oh noes the nerds!
mission-critical: the movie with Tom Cruise doing spy stuff. Come on this is really important to know about because of the terrorists. How can you do security if you don't know the secrets?
partner: yeah no wonder you don't know - cus you never had one! except your hand!
omgwtfbbqroflcopterslollercoasters
Sometimes my arms bend back.
Bingo!
Exactly!
What the OP should do is this: At the next meeting they have, play buzzword bingo.
How to play: Before the meeting, make a bingo sheet of buzzwords. As the meeting progresses and people use the buzzwords you mark your bingo board. Once you have a bingo you do as you would in any bingo game!
I actually had a supervisor of mine (a LTC) do this once at a briefing. It was priceless.
You don't know what the f*ck you're talking about do you?
There's a significant difference between saying someone has Chronic Myeloid Leukemia, vs Acute Myeloid Leukemia.
Around here, we refer to both of those as "Opportunities for Synergistic Patient-Doctor Care Interaction."
Precision is critical. Nonsense-crap like this accomplishes nothing except to hide the actual facts.