Is Corporate Speak Invading Your IT Department?

Worse than Political Correctness asks: "With several years of system administration under my belt, I am moving toward a slightly different role at my company. I am going from a straight system administration role to more of a high-level systems architect for a mid-sized company. There have been several promotions in our department recently, and use of this slang is growing faster than a Dave Chappell bit. Right now, I feel like unless one studies and masters the use of these pretentious buzzwords and phrases, he/she will be run over by people with worse ideas but a nicer-sounding delivery. Is corporate speak a necessary evil? " "I have noticed that as I deal more and more with upper management, selling them on products and direction, as well as with hardware/software vendors, the dreaded corporate speak slang is becoming part of my daily life. No longer is there more work to fill an already full plate, now there are 'opportunities for growth'. There are no company layoffs, there are 'realignments'. Difficult people are merely referred to as 'more challenging' than others. I dislike this non-speak as much as any person bred from a technical background. However, in order to match my new colleagues in the give and take of business life, phrases like 'functions', 'deliverables', and 'value-add' are finding their way into my vocabulary."

Is this just something one has to cope with in order to climb the corporate ladder? If you've found yourself in this position, what things did you do to cope?

Comments

Know the lingo, but you don't have to use it

[dankney]

You're going to have to know the corporate lingo in order to survive in that culture. That doesn't mean you have to use it.

Be aware, though, the jargon evolved for a reason. While doing contract Sarbanes-Oxley work for a major telcom, I found that meetings that used jargon were far more efficient than the meetings that didn't. That doesn't mean that everyone uses it meaningfully and responsibly, but when you're in a room with a group that does, it can be amazingly efficient.

So?

[theonetruekeebler]

Somewhere there's a BBS, maybe it's called "managedot.com", and there's a bunch of managers on there bitching about how IT Speak is invading the management sphere. They complain about "certificate authorities" and "throughput" and how their network was having "collsions." How instead of printers, they now have queues. That they have to use a "proxy" and "configure their SSL." It's all alien and a waste of time.

All specialized realms have their own jargon. Managers deal with a corporation's resources, and employees are a resource that has to get hired, paid, evaluated and either promoted or fired. "Realignment" doesn't strictly mean "round of layoffs," but managers understand that realignments often result in layoffs. Management speak has its share of euphemisms: Sometimes managers have to do unpleasant things that will affect other people's lives. But for the most part, it is nothing more than a specialized vocabulary for dealing with resource issues.

But don't say "paradigm" if you can avoid it. Or "synergy." Finally, don't hesitate to use your pre-existing specialized vocabulary to bullshit your way through bullshit situations.

When they don't know or care they talk nonsense.

[Futurepower(R)]

'Corporate speak is basically the same type of "Rah-Rah" speech'

"Corporate speak" in technical companies is often due to the speaker not having much understanding of the technology, and not wanting to learn.

See this comment posted later in this story to test a company's credibility online.

I'm surprised that no one has mentioned "Bullsh**t Bingo". There is a link to it at the bottom of that comment.

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Before, Saddam got Iraq oil profits & paid part to kill Iraqis. Now a few Americans share Iraq oil profits, & U.S. citizens pay to kill Iraqis. Improvement?