Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?

theodp writes to mention a C|Net article about Chinese President Hu Jintao's historic first visit to the U.S.. The catch is that his first dinner won't be at the White House. It will be at Bill Gates' manse. From the article: "The approximately 100-person guest list is a who's who of the U.S. Pacific Northwest power elite, including Starbucks Chairman Howard Schultz and Washington state Gov. Christine Gregoire, said event organizers. The guests will undergo strict security checks before entering Gates' lodge-style, 66,000-square-foot home overlooking Lake Washington with a reported seven bedrooms, six kitchens, 24 bathrooms, a domed library, a reception hall and an artificial estuary stocked with salmon and trout. Gates and Gregoire are expected to introduce and welcome Hu, who will then offer a toast in front of the gathering."

Comments

Oh boy, here we go....

[BWJones]

Rather than reference the classic movie starring Sydney Poitier, Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn, I imagine this would be a more appropriate dialogue.

Rove: "Sir, Hu is going to be attending a dinner at one of your biggest campaign contributors houses, Mr. Bill Gates."

Bush: "Who?"

Rove: "Yessir, Hu."

Bush: "No, I'm asking you..... Who's coming to the US to have dinner with Geeky Gates?"

Rove: "That's right sir, Hu."

Bush: "...............Daggummit Turd Blossom! I'm asking you who is coming to the US to have dinner with Geeky Gates?"

Ad nauseum

Re:Oh boy, here we go....

[sunwolf]

Bush: What about when? Rove: Wen? Bush: Yes, when. Rove: I don't know if the Premier is coming. Bush: Who asked about the Premier, damnit! Rove: Oh, did he? I assume he would know. Bush: Who? Rove: Yes, Hu would know Wen. Bush: Don't make me feed you a pretzel.

Re:Oh boy, here we go....

[sunwolf]

Uh...properly spaced, that would be:

Bush: What about when?
Rove: Wen?
Bush: Yes, when.
Rove: I don't know if the Premier is coming.
Bush: Who asked about the Premier, damnit!
Rove: Oh, did he? I assume he would know.
Bush: Who?
Rove: Yes, Hu would know Wen.
Bush: Rove...
Rove: Yes?
Bush: Don't make me feed you a pretzel.

Who does number 2 work for

[fxer]

with a reported seven bedrooms, six kitchens, 24 bathrooms, a domed library, a reception hall and an artificial estuary stocked with salmon and trout.

I bet the 1:3.4 ratio of sleeping to dumping at Gates' place has to be the highest in the nation.

Re:Who does number 2 work for

[appleLaserWriter]

I bet the 1:3.4 ratio of sleeping to dumping at Gates' place has to be the highest in the nation.

Didn't you know Bill likes to host bathroom-orgies?

Re:Who does number 2 work for

[sumdumass]

Maybe he just expects everyone to be full of shit when they come a'courtn him.

Re:Who does number 2 work for

[QuickFox]

This proves that Gates just pretends to be one of us geeks. A real geek would never bathe that much.

-- --
  Terrorists can destroy our trains and buildings, but they can't destroy our rights and our freedom. Only we and our lawmakers can destroy that.

Re:Who does number 2 work for

[ozmanjusri]

with a reported seven bedrooms, six kitchens, 24 bathrooms, a domed library, a reception hall...

Where do you think the spyware's been installed?

Re:Who does number 2 work for

[ClamIAm]

Hey man, Windows source code has to originate somewhere...

Pirated Windows easy to spot...

[Faust7]

The Chinese government issued a decree two weeks ago that all PCs will need to have a licensed operating system software installed before leaving the factory gates in an effort to crack down on piracy.

Spotting the pirated copies of Windows will be easy.

Instead of "Start," the button will say "Very Much Go."

Takes One to Know One

[Doc Ruby]

What happens when that security check reveals that one of the people walking through the door is a tyrant with billions subjects, harboring the biggest piracy, spammer and phishing rings it the world, with nuclear weapons?

And that another is the slightly less powerful guest of that tyrant, the president of China?

Awkward Moment turns to Opportunity

[FerretFrottage]

Hu: President Gates, I..
Gates: Please, I'm not the president, I have more power
Hu: I am still pleased to present you with the Chinese version of Windows
Gates: Hey, that's a pirated copy!
Hu: Yes, we made it just for you, need a key?
Gates: No, you go and post in on YOUR internet, be sure not to censor it. BTW, you do know that RED Hat isn't a communist version of Linux. It actually promotes human rights.
Hu: Oh yes, we know, and based on what I am allowed to read about your decline in human rights, it appears that the US isn't using it either.
Gates: Cheers

Now that your country has purchased XP

[tlynch001]

Gates: Now that you've purchased a zillion licenses for XP, I want to talk about Vista.

Hu: Yes, the view of Lake Washington is magnificent.

Gates: Hee hee, that's not what I'm talking about...

Re:Only 7 bedrooms?

[RoadWarriorX]

And 24 bathrooms? Why? Possibly it could be useful for situations such as this, but it seems a bit odd.

You obviously never lived with 5 sisters. They need all the bathrooms they can put there hands on.

What the hell is this?

[rob_squared]

A James Bond movie?

Just...strikes me as odd is all.

Mutated Trout from The Evil Empire.

[twitter]

artificial estuary stocked with salmon and trout.

I'll bet those trout are ill tempered and have lasers on their heads. Hey, the work for Microsoft so they have to be in a bad mood. Everyday is a bad day, then they serve you for dinner when they "fucking kill" you as they've done before and will do again.

It's nice to see the head of Evil Industry's Starbuck's division getting some publicity and credit. Number two's idea there was quite profitable.

Gates, stroking a bald cat: "Do you like my quasi futuristic clothing, Chairman Hu? I designed them myself."

Chairman Hu: "Ah yes, they are much like Chairman Mao's favorites, but he liked drab blue."

Master Gates: "A toast then, to $400,000,000 and the drab."

-clink-clink-

Chairman Hu: "I have a thing for Red."

Flunky S. Baller: "Tell me you are not talking about Red Flag Linux!" Perspiration half moons show under his arms.

Chairman Hu: "I am."

Baller, raising chair "I'm going to fucking kill Linus. I've done it before and -"

Master Gates slaps Baller on the back of the head: "Down boy!" Turns and smiles. "He's a little fired up tonight."

Baller: "I love this company! I work in the swamp. Though I do not fall in the trenches of coding, I am yet a soldier! Developers, Developers, Developers!"

Master Gates laughs and pats Baller on the head. Yes, this is my favorite number two.

Everyone laughs.

Vulcan proverb: Only Nixon can go to China

[MobileTatsu-NJG]

"Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?"

oo oo oo! Now say wessel!

Hu Cares?

[AnalystX]

Really.

Re:geek pres

[Kuukai]

Did you know Hu Jintao got his degree in hydraulic engineering? Why can't we have an engineer presient?

Because we elect ours. Sad but true.

Microsoft Security, Plays for Sure.

[twitter]

What happens when that security check [identifies Bill Gates]

If it works like most Windoze "security" a little report is generated, a few files are wiped out, stability suffers and they all contract bird flu anyway.

As Marx told me one day ...

[ignavus]

Like many rich men, Gates has a hobby.

He just likes to collect China.

Re:More pressure to move to Red Flag Linux?

[fred911]

"The two companies also agreed to work together to promote the use of genuine versions of Windows"

All three copies!

Google Search

[wideBlueSkies]

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