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Using Laptops to Steal Cars
Ant writes "Thieves are using laptops/notebooks to steal the most expensive luxury cars. Many of these cars have completely keyless ignitions and door locks, meaning it can all be done wirelessly. Thieves often follow a car until it gets left in a quiet area, and they can steal it in about 20 minutes..."
20 minutes to remove the laptop from the bag, smash the window and pound on the steering column with it? They must be using those modern, fancy-pants, lightweight laptops. In the old days we could get a car in under 5 minutes with a Mac Portable.
Trolling is a art,
Laptops are evil.
Fortunately, friendly Republican senators are even now pushing a bill through Congress to outlaw these devil-machines. Always looking out for our interests, those guys.
Note to mods: I'm probably being sarcastic.
This is exactly why my daughter will not have a keyless chastity belt...
Are they referring to their server? 5 minutes after the link arrived on /. and I already get a timeout error.
".torrent?"
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
My updated keyless 1968 Rambler 550 classic is going to be stolen soon?
Guess I'll havee to down grade.
...favorite Knight Rider joke here: "Michael, someone's trying to connect to me via Wi-Fi and and override my locking mechanism!"
GetOuttaMySpace - The Anti-Social Network
That's only allowed in Soviet Russia.
There are reports out of Nebraska today that people with laptops have been seen plugging them into airport electrical outlets, and stealing electrons in an unguarded airport. The Department of Homeland Insecurity has declined to comment on the matter.
Details at 6:00
Oh You POS
If you really want your car to be secure...
Just do what I used to do. Pop off the distributor cap, and remove the rotor. Not too many people carry a spare one of those around.
What?
Finally, I pour some cod liver oil on the upholstery and lock a couple of cats in it for a few days (with the windows cracked and plenty of food and water - I'm not mean.)
That just about puts an end to anyone's desire to steal my cars.
posted anonymously so THEY won't find me.
How are sites slashdotted when nobody reads TFAs?
Now all I need is an article explaining how to swipe a laptop.
The student missed his chance. He should have used the first 4 minutes to wander off somewhere, returning with a cold beer and a lawn chair. Then spent the next 6 minutes sitting in the lawn chair sipping the beer while everyone stands, mouths agape... At 10 minutes, he springs into action.
Yes, fail the student that can easily get into your car.
hmm
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
You need to build up it's self esteem. Talk nicely to it, tell it what a good car it is. Buy it some premium when it's being good.
Don't belittle or yell at your car when it's naughty, a firm "No!" perhaps followed up by thwacking it in the grill with a rolled up newspaper should suffice to let the poor auto know it has been bad without destroying it's self esteem.
When the time comes and your car starts to notice cars of the opposite sex, do not make this a big deal, that can cause deep seated insecurities in any automobile. Let it know that the feelings it is having are natural and no big deal.
It will also help if the car does not have to worry about it's old age and retirement. Let your car know you have invested some money for it to live off of when it leaves the workforce.
- None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton