PIs Selling Phone Records Sued By The FTC

carl writes "According to an MSNBC article, the FTC has sued five different background investigation firms for selling confidential phone records." From the article: "In the lawsuits announced Wednesday, the FTC charged the companies used 'false pretenses, fraudulent statements, fraudulent or stolen documents or other misrepresentations, including posing as a customer of a telecommunications carrier' to get the phone records. The companies advertised on their Web sites that they could get the confidential phone records of any individual and make them available for a fee, the agency said."

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Solution? The Libertarian Party

[Orrin Bloquy]

The Libertarian Party

First, there was a plan: how to bring together the two different political extremes at work? My boss said there was a sort of tension he thought could be eased by some social interaction. Not easy. Both the different activist groups despised one another, each thinking its focus was more important and eloquent than the others'.

First there were the Greens. They worked on conservation policy, and simple call campaigns and some door to door stuff. They also did our web sites. They used pamphlets, targeted email campaigns, memes on YouTube, and a bit of radio show call-in work. They typically dressed casually, drank coffee and tea, and liked to work straight from their political philosophy: no "Earth in the Balance for Dummies" books were to be found in their cubicle farm.

Then we had the Libertarians. They worked special hours, coming in at one and staying late, supposedly, until seven or eight at night. They enjoyed blunts and had a penchant for Ayn Rand t-shirts and cracking jokes about the only good government being limited government. They all had beards or mullets or long, unwashed hair. Some had Adam Smith or Lazarus Long quote tattoos. Their cubicle farm was known for the bleating laughter that exploded when one of them found a political flamewar on Fark, and for the rotten, fetid stench that could only be compared to three-day-old shit reeking from inside a rotting corpse's abdominal cavity.

So, in order to get the guys to get to know each other, my boss had asked me to organize a during-hours, alcohol-friendly party. My ideas ranged from a keg or two to live entertainment, AKA Al Franken or Steven Colbert. But as to what to get them to actually talk to each other in a human manner I had no clue. So I let it go til the last minute and decided to let my inherent creativity mull it over in the back of my head.

When the day of the party had arrived, the catering company brought in a few trays of tofu eggrolls, chicken, hummus, and side dishes, I had picked up the four kegs from the local brewery, and the big-screen TV and DVD were set up ready to lay down Outfoxed into the eyes and ears of my co-workers. The eagerness in the the air was encouraging and I thought that loosening up and smiles going on even now were a good sign. I even saw some of the guys who'd known each other previously begin to bunch up, bringing along the co-workers they knew from everyday work.

The first thing everyone did was hit the food line, loading up their plates and grabbing a cup for beer to wash it down with. A few approached me and thanked me for the food; it seems appeasing the belly really did tame the beast. After a few minutes of silence and eating and a few second and third courses, they guys were ready to sit down and be entertained. After asking if anyone needed anything else before the movie started, the lights went out and Outfoxed began playing. I heard a few enthusiastic comments and jokes being told.

About half-way through the movie I noticed a lot of the Libertarians getting up and presumably going to the restroom. No surprise, as the second keg was history by now and the third was probably half-way gone. I also noticed some of the guys bumping into things and stumbling. Alcohol's the social lubricant, eh? Well, not long after, my bladder beckoned and I answered. As I made my way to the restroom, I had a self-satisfied smile on my face: my little plan was working, my boss would be happy, and it might even yield a holiday bonus or a promotion (even if in title only).

Well, as soon as I pushed the restroom door open, I knew something was wrong. The smell of vomit was pretty strong and I hoped that it'd only been the work of one guy. But the smell was so pungent! After standing at the urinal, waiting for the golden flow to commence, I stood in silence. It was then that I heard grunting. Listening intently for a few seconds, I hoped whoever was upchucking their beer and munchies wasn't leaving a huge mess for the cleanup crew. After pissing and still hea