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Microsoft Customers Balk at Hard Sell

HangingChad writes "ComputerWorld is running an article about Microsoft's latest type of sales force scare tactic. Apparently Microsoft is using the new title of 'engagement manager' to attempt sales via intimidation. From the article: 'Indeed, according to Microsoft's Web site, the responsibility of someone with Lawless' title of "engagement manager" is to "perform as an integrated member of the account team, drive business development and closing of new services engagements in targeted accounts."'"

20 of 353 comments (clear)

  1. Re:Uhh. Yeah. It's called an account manager. by windowpain · · Score: 1, Funny

    Account manager + Microsoft = inevitable underhanded tactics.

    It's just Bill and his minions being their autistic, demanding, clueless selves.

    --
    Insert witty sig here.
  2. That Tru-Coat... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    You don't get that Tru-Coat, you get code oxidation problems. Yah.

    1. Re:That Tru-Coat... by Richard+Steiner · · Score: 2, Funny

      Yup. Bit rot. Happens all the time with unlicensed code. No, really...

      --
      Mainframe/UNIX Bit Twiddler and long time Windows/Linux Hobbyist.
      The Theorem Theorem: If If, Then Then.
  3. You must be new here by ColdWetDog · · Score: 4, Funny
    If there were any real alternatives to technology in today's Microsoft dominated juggernaut, these "practices" would send customers screaming to the competition. Unfortunately, so far, there aren't.

    Well, there is this interesting operating system that I heard about on this website called "slapdash" or something like that. Seems like it scales pretty well and some big computer companies like IBM are playing around with it.

    I think it was called 'Linux' - could be wrong about that.

    --
    Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
    1. Re:You must be new here by pyrrhonist · · Score: 2, Funny
      <DEVILSADVOCATE guise="average Windows XP user">

      Funny that you mention this, because I haven't a good idea on how to install acroread for XP. Do you go to superdownloads.com for that, or should you buy a CD at CompUSA? Who sells this "acroread", how can I install it in XP if all I know is the software's name?

      By "arcoread", do you mean Adobe Acrobat? It's in the "Start" menu, and was there when I bought the PC. I didn't have to install it. It's made by Adobe, BTW.

      In (K)Ubuntu I know it's very simple: click on the button at the lower left corner of the screen, go to the "System -> Packet Manager" menu, type the system password, type "acroread" in the box labelled "quick filter" and click on the button labelled "install package". It's the same way for every one of the 18000 or so packages that are available in the standard KUbuntu distribution.

      Hmm, I'd never remember all that. Everytime I want to run something I just go to the Start menu. Sometimes I can't find what I want there, but I can always get it at the store. Like that time I wanted to play, "Super Hi-Res Chess 2.2", but it wasn't in the Start menu. I just bought it at CompUSA, and now it's in my Start menu.

      I don't even have to know the name of the software, if I want to a software to run my scanner, for instance, I type "scanner" in the quick filter and Adept will show me all the packages which have scanner either in the name or the description. By reading the respective descriptions, I can tell the picture scanners apart from the virus scanners.

      Oh yeah, I have a scanner too. It came with a software disk. There's some really cool stuff on there that can take my typed documents and scan them right into a Word file. It's, like, totally killer.

      For anyone who can read and understand plain English (or whatever is the language in his installation), Ubuntu is more ready for the mass market than XP. Only power users know exactly where to get those CDs from which they rum "setup.exe" to install software.

      I don't know about the "setup.exe" rum, but when I want to install software in my Start menu, I just put the disk in and a box pops up that does it for me.

      </DEVILSADVOCATE>

      Kudos to anyone who spots the Apple reference!

      --
      Show me on the doll where his noodly appendage touched you.
    2. Re:You must be new here by the_womble · · Score: 4, Funny

      Mangu, you do not understand.

      Easy = exactly the same as in Windows.

      Nothing could possibly be better than Windows by definition.

      Even if your Linux distro could foretell the future and installed software automatically before you knew you needed it, people like this would still "know" that the way Windows does it is easier.

      You and I and a lot of other people know Ubuntu or Mandriva is generally a lot easier to use than Windows, but it is a waste of time trying to convince people who have an emotional investment in Windows and do not want to believe that Linux could be more user friendly.

  4. What has happened to Microsoft? by LibertineR · · Score: 4, Funny
    Why the hell are they intimidating people?

    Have they forgotten how effective BRIBING people can be?

    Have all the creative people left the company?

    Will someone PLEASE put Ballmer back in charge of Sales?

  5. Engagement? by erbmjw · · Score: 5, Funny
    One definition is
    a hostile encounter between military forces
    Perhaps it should be expanded to include a hostile encounter by corporate forces
  6. Ironic by $RANDOMLUSER · · Score: 4, Funny

    So the intimidation manager is actually named Lawless?

    --
    No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism. - Winston Churchill
  7. Nobody by bahwi · · Score: 4, Funny

    Nobody expects the MSFT Inquisition!

  8. This is why.... by TheNoxx · · Score: 2, Funny

    Yet again, I can add another reason as to why I don't want MS in the gaming market. I mention this because MS is pushing Vista as the next best thing since sliced bread for gaming (if you haven't heard their nutjob sales reps going "DIRECT X 10 WOOOO!", just do a google search), and I'm sure they'll try to hook it up with the 360. This might be a little off-topic, but they and their "business" tactics need to be kept as far away from the still young gaming industry. You know that as soon as they get a foothold, they'll stop developement and real innovation and use the same strong-arm intimidation to keep developers and distributors in tow. Want to improve the image of games as an art form? Too bad, MS is pushing the same shit in HALO 12.

    --
    Ex nihilo nihil fit.
  9. Re:Uhh. Yeah. It's called an account manager. by Marxist+Hacker+42 · · Score: 2, Funny

    You've been reading BOFH I see....

    --
    SJW: a person who perceives an injustice, and while correcting it, commits a greater injustice.
  10. Please, no! by geobeck · · Score: 3, Funny
    Will someone PLEASE put Ballmer back in charge of Sales?

    It's one thing to have some sales sleaze saying, "Dat's a nice server youse got there... shame if anything should happen to it," and quite another to have the top sales maniac saying, "I'm going to fucking KILL YOU!" and throwing chairs at your server.

    Off-topic digression*:

    If anyone out there likes making game hacks, someone write up "Ballmer Kong". The Ball-ape stands at the top, lobbing chairs down the scaffolding, while your character, a penguin, jumps over the chairs, or blows them up by throwing apples at them.

    *Yes, I know; that's a superfluous redundancy.

    --
    Find environmentally and socially responsible products on http://buy-right.net
  11. Engagement manager's name is Lawless! by grudan · · Score: 2, Funny

    Anyone else notice how appropriate the engagement manager's name is!

  12. A fly on the wall... by FooGoo · · Score: 3, Funny

    Balmer: What's your name?
    Gates: FUCK YOU, that's my name!! You know why, Mister? 'Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove a eighty thousand dollar BMW. That's my name!! And your name is "you're wanting." And you can't play in a man's game. You can't close them. (at a near whisper) And you go home and tell your wife your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life! Get them to sign on the line which is dotted! You hear me, you fucking faggots?
    (Gates flips over a blackboard which has two sets of letters on it: ABC, and AIDA.)
    Gates: A-B-C. A-always, B-be, C-closing. Always be closing! Always be closing!! A-I-D-A. Attention, interest, decision, action. Attention -- do I have your attention? Interest -- are you interested? I know you are because it's fuck or walk. You close or you hit the bricks! Decision -- have you made your decision for Christ?!! And action. A-I-D-A; get out there!! You got the prospects comin' in; you think they came in to get out of the rain? Guy doesn't walk on the lot unless he wants to buy. Sitting out there waiting to give you their money! Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it? What's the problem pal? You. Balmer.
    Balmer: You're such a hero, you're so rich. Why you coming down here and waste your time on a bunch of bums?
    (Gates sits and takes off his gold watch)
    Blake: You see this watch? You see this watch?
    Balmer: Yeah.
    Gates: That watch cost more than your car. I made $970,000,000 last year. How much you make? You see, pal, that's who I am. And you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you -- go home and play with your kids!! You wanna work here? Close!! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can't take this -- how can you take the abuse you get on a sit?! You don't like it -- leave. I can go out there tonight with the materials you got, make myself fifty thousand dollars! Tonight! In two hours! Can you? Can you? Go and do likewise! A-I-D-A!! Get mad! You sons of bitches! Get mad!! You know what it takes to sell software?
    (He pulls something out of his briefcase)
    Gates: It takes brass balls to sell software.

    --
    People who bite the hand that feeds them usually lick the boot that kicks them
  13. Re:How biased can this website get? by Alioth · · Score: 4, Funny

    If you want pro-Microsoft or "unbiased" articles, then don't go to a website that advocates open source software. This is after all Slashdot, *not* Cee Colon Backslash Dot.

  14. And so ends Linux licensing FUD by stinky+wizzleteats · · Score: 5, Funny

    So much for turning to commercially licensed closed source software as a way to reduce your exposure to IP legal threats.

  15. Re:Actually this has nothing to do with sales... by Opportunist · · Score: 2, Funny

    Well, check what happened to JFK...

    --
    We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
  16. Re:it's all about obfuscation by Nefarious+Wheel · · Score: 2, Funny

    "Nice place you have here. Sure looks flammable. Is that an unlicensed server I see there? What's this big red button do?" [POWER FAIL] "Awww, it crashed. Hey, you know, a guy like you could maybe use a little insurance. I got a nice license for a reliable asset manager here, pretty cheap considering. Price? Everything's negotiable, mate. What's your weekly take? Oh, and I noticed your family out for a walk yesterday. Yer kids sure are purty..."

    --
    Do not mock my vision of impractical footwear
  17. Re:How biased can this website get? by level_headed_midwest · · Score: 2, Funny

    Then to be more true to its roots, should /. become ./ ?

    --
    Just "gittin-r-done," day after day.