Super Smash Brothers Wii, Featuring Solid Snake

mcc writes "In a surprise news conference this evening, Nintendo unexpectedly revealed Super Smash Bros. Brawl for the Nintendo Wii, and released a promo video of the title. Smash Bros. Brawl will feature online play; a Nintendog item that blocks your view of the playfield by jumping up on the screen and demanding to be petted; bizarre Dragonball Z style superattacks; your choice of traditional Gamecube or motion-sensing Revmote control; and new characters in the form of Samus (without the suit), Meta Knight, Kid Icarus (!), and... Konami's Solid Snake, complete with a cardboard box he hides in. The only bad news is despite earlier reports it would be a launch title, Smash Bros. Brawl will not be out until 2007."

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mod 04

[Anonymous Coward]

wwfw.anti-slash.org good manners an Arduous

I hear Samus' Suit has a mind of its own...

[SlashdotTroll]

Deep in the suit, deeply... by an Anonymous Coward through 9:18AM/9:52AM, on May 11 of 2006.

Samus probed for her Ventilation Control and Septic systems. "Oh computer, I love you too much to not need some sun on my skin. But..."

The ventilation system gave out a loud "Psssht" as it readjusts to the artificial atmosphere. Samus, with a cordial grin, fondles the lever at the crown to unleash the Septic Control system from her two private orifices. "Oh!" she sadly groans as she is pulled from the one bastion of pleasure in the Bird Suit. Samus tosses the husk to a side and begins her streatching exercises, and for a hot shower to rid her of the chill in the room.

"Oh boy, if only that shower was as good as one!" Samus says in relief from the shower. After air-drying her hair, nipples, navel, and legs, she sits at the Navigation computer to plot a course for SLASHD1337 in the CBNPOLL gallaxy. Just then a speaker gives a loud alarm "TRANSIENT POWER APPROACHING!" Samus races to her captains chair, naked and breaking a cold sweat; "What could it be? Computer, track Transient Power in prior alert."

The Computer fixes a location on the Transient Power, to be from a dry asteroid about 100 metres in overall diameter. Samus orders the Computer to set a course to that Asteroid and defray any further aproach if their colludes an Energy Field distortion or inconsisten gravitational field. At a mere kilometer from the loan Asteroid, a shock of energy pulses; causing the ship to destabilize its isometric approach in relation to a prior port. The artificial-gravity fails, and the Bird Suit is attracted to the wall of the ship nearest to the Asteroid. "Impule 5, opposite that Asteroid COMPUTER!", yelled Samus. The Ship's systems return normal, and all the un-battoned articles and equipment meet a 1 metre fall back to relativity.

Meanwhile, the Bird Suit is acting as though partially engaged, and attracts Samus' attention; "Whats wrong, Birdy? Ohh, you've had too much work today, please rest" The Bird Suit enters sleep mode. Samus walks over to pick the Bird Suit up, to stow it in its diagnostic closit. Just then, it reactivates with a loud shrill; it grabs Samus by both arms ands positions behind her, as to throw her. Just then, the Septic System which Samus was so relied upon, inverts its tract receptapositor; revealing the twin 8-inch tentacle appendages normally deep within the urinary and fecal tracts of Samus. "What are you doing, Birdy!!??!?", "Let me go!"; demanded a helpless Samus. "Does not compute--Protection Error 0A--Suit Checklist que bipassed from error." was all the Bird Suit could give in default response. "System Error--System Error; engaging anti-extroenvironmental locke--engaging-complete--", emitted from the Bird Suit speaker. Then the Bird Suit subsystem whined to an endless loop on the Bird Suit's internal appropriations, "unprotected que error on shutdown and initialization --engaging anti-septic control syste$@# disengaging anti-septic".

"Birdy, NOOOO Uhhmfff!", cried an uninterested Samus, but she started to like it, "Ahhh! Uhmmff! Ahhh! Uhhhmff! oh...mfff...Oh...Oh...OH! Yes! More, Birdy! YESS! YESSS!" -- and decided to not de-active the mal-functioning Bird Suit's anti-septic procedures just yet -- "you are the Boy I've always wanted, Birdy!", purred a joyfully horny Samus Aran. "Computer, activate auto-pilot and cloaking systems and sound dampeners for the next hour", shys off from a pleased Samus. -- "Oh...Ohh...Ohhh!", she yells as she trembles to her second orgasm, not knowing the end...