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Refund of Long-Distance Telephone Taxes
pertelote writes "Over 108 years after financing the Spanish American War, the tax on long-distance phone calls is finally being repealed. The IRS is supposed to refund our last three years worth of taxes for both landlines and cell phones on our returns next year. The phone companies sued because they did not want the hassle of collecting the tax. The tax is no longer in effect on 31 July, 2006." Don't get too excited about a big windfall. From the article: "Consumers, who pay about 40 percent of the taxes collected, typically pay about $18 a year in excise taxes if they have a long-distance service and a cellphone. They will be able to file for a refund on their 2006 federal income tax returns."
Is the president going to play dress-up, get into an air force uniform, land on an air craft carrier near the Straight of Gibraltar and declare the Spanish American War finally over?
My work here is dung.
USS Maine: Blam! Glug, glug, glug.
America: WTF? Spain, can't you control your own damn harbor?!
Spain: STFU
Tomas Estrada Palma (head of Cuban Revolutionary Junta): Spain, I've got $150 million for you if you'll let us have independence.
Spain: STFU
American Democrats and Big Media: Free Cuba! Woohoo! Spain sux0rz!
Prez. McKinley and Republicans: WTF, we don't need dat shit.
Americans: Remember the Maine? Let's go kick some ass!
(April 11, 1898)
McKinley: Fine. Spain, GTFO of Cuba.
Spain: STFU
(April 25, 1898)
McKinley: No, YOU STFU! We declare war! As of... uh... 5 days ago!
Congress: Let's tax... inheritance! That oughta make us some bling-bling. Oh, and let's add one penny to the telephone bill. Only rich people have telephones, they can afford it.
(June 10, 1898)
US Marines: Ha ha, we ownz0r Guantanamo Bay! Freedom from torture for all!
(August 12, 1898)
Spain: Dios Mio! All our fleet are belong to you!
America: Yay, we win! Give us all your wine. And tapas.
Time Machine: Wowowowowow
(1982)
Congress: Let's set that war tax to 3% of the phone bill, that oughta keeps us in da bling-bling. But only until 1985.
(1984)
Congress: F Dat, we want to keep our bling-bling. At least until 1987.
(1987)
Congress: Mane, what were we thinking? Keep da bling-bling until... 1990?
(1990)
Congress: Too fun! Let's make it... permanent! Par-tee! Par-tee! Par-tee!
(2000)
Congress: That was stupid. Let's repeal the war tax.
Clinton: Ah agree. But there's nothing in this big ol' Bill (heh heh) about that edumication spendin' ah wanted. Y'see, it all depends on what the meaning o' the word "Spanish-American War Tax" is. Ah veto this Bill (heh heh, I cain't never get enough o' that joke, now come set on daddy's lap).
(2005)
Internet: Congress, you are too stupid!
Congress: Well, I guess we can try again.
Towards the Singularity.