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Apple Finally Getting Its Game On?
Gamespot reports on the possibility that, in some way, Apple is making moves to develop games. From the article: "This week, GameSpot learned that there may be more to the Apple-game rumors than mere Mac-mad daydreams. A tech-sector recruiter contacted the GS NewsDesk with an interesting story of a prospective hire that got away. Recently, when said recruiter made an offer to a software engineer, the engineer turned the offer down--saying he was being 'heavily recruited by Apple.' According to the engineer, an Apple hiring manager named Mike Lampell is heading up a group inside Apple's storied iTunes division. The group is specifically hiring for 'C/C++ coders with a gaming background.'"
No doubt Apple is tired of seeing Microsoft dominate the games market. Look out for the all-new iPippin. With an Intel chip inside, it's twice as fast as the PowerPC-based XBox 360!*
* May not actually be twice as fast outside the Reality Distortion Field. But who cares? You know you'll buy it anyway.
Ballmer will be hurling an entire conference room of chairs off the roof when Apple can claim:
One billion games downloaded!
Suited Guy (PC): "Woah... out of the way... bang, gotcha! Hahah! Oh no. Oh no! Dudududududu! Ha! Who's your paternal-figure? Hey? Hey? Who's your paternal figure?"
Hip Young Guy (Mac): "Hey dude, whatcha doing?"
PC: "I'm playing a really awesome game. You play a secret agent, and you have to shoot the henchmen, and... hold on... woah! Ok, you want a turn?"
Mac: "Oh, come on! Surely you could be doing something productive, like, erm, burning DVDs? I can burn DVDs. Yeah! Make your own movies, it's cool"
PC: "Yeah, I did that once. Hold on... woah! Gotcha! Haha! Gotcha, what's behind the wall? Oh... hey, it's multiplayer if you want to join in."
Mac: "Oh, games. Aren't those what games consoles are for?"
PC: "Depends on the game. This is an mod someone did for Doom 5, so you'd never see it on a console. You just don't get that kind of innovation on closed platforms like consoles. Hold on, I got it! I got the papers! Now, how do I get out? Er..."
Mac: "You know, you ought to be sorting through the pictures on your digital camera which I can do really easily with iPh..."
PC: "Yeah, that'd be a real fun time. Real. Fun. Time. Yeah. Sure you don't want a game? Hold on... blam! Gotcha! Where the hell did he come from anyway? Ok, through this wall..."
Mac: "Oh no, games are such a waste of time. I'd rather do something productive like, erm, manage my iTunes collection. That's something I'm good at..."
PC: "Me too, you do know I run iTunes right? Aw come on, let your hair down a little. I thought I was supposed to be the stiff."
Mac: "No."
PC: "Wait... I think there's a hidden passage here... read it in a forum somewhere... oh yeah, next to the pot plant, got it, extra health, excellent. Anyway, why not? Why don't you want a go?"
Mac: "I don't want to talk about it."
PC: "What?"
Mac: "I said I just don't want to talk about it, ok? Ok?"
PC puts the joystick down for a moment: "You can't play games. That's what it is, right?"
Mac: "Right. Ok. So I can't play games. What's the big deal? Nobody plays games anyway."
PC: "Sure. Nobody does. Right. Yeah, just me. Just boring, suited, me. Not like I play more games than all the games consoles put together. Right."
PC falls on floor, rolling with laughter.
Mac: "Ok. OKAY! Now let me turn this photo slideshow and jingle I put together in Garageband into a DVD. Not a waste of time like playing games is."
Mac walks off in huff. PC picks up joystick and continues playing.
Fade to black:
"Apple Macintosh"
"The Computer That Can't Play Games"
"But That's Ok Because Nobody Plays Games Anyway"