Lawyers Ordered to Play RPS to Settle Dispute

Rent-to-Pwn writes "After the lawyers involved couldn't settle even the most basic disputes without court intervention, a federal judge ordered the two lawyers to play one (1) game of rock, paper, scissors to settle the dispute. Being a federal case, in theory, it could become precedent for similar, unimportant decisions. Of course, there's no mention of what the two lawyers are supposed to do in case of a tie ..."

Comments

Play Paper!

[catch23]

Since there's still time before June 30 (the date of the RPS game), I'd play paper. As world rps so eloquently describes it:

Paper is often considered the most subtle throw. There is nothing aggressive about the limp documents that move through our desks and offices. Even the gesture used to represent paper is peaceful - an open palm like that used in a salute or handshake. Historically, an open palm has been a sign of friendship and peace because an open hand cannot hold a weapon. Some players, who unconsciously perceive Paper as weak or a sign of surrender, will shy away from using it entirely or drop it from their game when they are falling behind. On the other hand, Paper also connects with a player's perceptions about writing. There is a quiet power in the printed word. It has the ability to lay off thousands of employees, declare war against nations, spread scandal or confess love. Paper, in short, has power over masses. The fate of the entire world is determined by print. As such, some players perceive Paper as a subtle attack, the victory of modern culture over barbarism. Such players may use Paper to assert their superiority and dignity.

Re:Games are patentable

[Kadin2048]

To be fair, that patent was eventually shot down, or so I heard. Basically the USPTO invalidated all of its claims, and then the holder just declined to pay the fees and it expired.

Still, whatever examiner passed it ought to be punished in some sort of humiliating way.

I have heard from a friend who is starting work as a patent examiner that they have totally revamped their recruitment and training programs. Now, instead of going through nominal 'welcome aboard' training and being shoved out onto the floor and told to start processing patents, there's like 8 or 9 months of training, following which you're basically an apprentice to somebody more senior (where they have to approve/rubberstamp your work) for a while.

There still seems to be some obvious issues, like the number of patents you process per day/week influences your promotions, so that there's an indirect reward for pushing more paper, but they do seem to be making some progress.

Still, I wouldn't mind seeing them drag out a Dunce cap for patents like that.

This is nothing

[Raul654]

Rock-paper-scissors was used in this case to determine which lawyer could choose the location for the deposition. A minor aspect of a minor part of the trial.

On the other hand, in New York City courts determine which judge is assigned to the case (a CONSIERABLY more important question) are by spinning a wooden wheel with all the judges' names on it. (I'm sorry I don't have a citation)

Re:Geez... what a precedent

[Adhemar]

The World RPS Society writes (in an update to this story):

Pro Player Mr. C. Urbanus quickly offered his consulting series to one of the lawyers and received the following response from one of them: Fortunately, we, the attorneys have worked out our differences by agreement. We will not have to resort to combat by RPS. Thanks again and best of luck.

Sidenote: "Combat" is that what lawyers are calling "conflict resolution" these days??

Personally, I was more surprised by the existance of pro RPS players than by the use of the word combat in legal conflict resolution.