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Verified: Record-breaking Pitfall! Run

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the next-step-getting-a-date dept.

Daniel Vignes writes ""Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back Into The Jungle!" A perfect Pitfall! run with 1:28 left in time, perfect score and no deaths has just been verified by the authority on classic gaming, Twin Galaxies."

3 of 236 comments (clear)

  1. Oh, the success! by neuroPuff · · Score: 0, Troll

    It really is important to note when someone tells Daniel, our ever challenged record setter, to get laid in some rude fashion, anyone who does this actually loves Daniel. I see this as, "Hey, friend. Good job. You didn't let 1983 down. Now how about you find a plow pal and thrust onward; breaching the gates of the unknown with your twelve inch dick!"; I know I only see that as a gesture of love.

    We really need to de-associate the stigma with those who spends countless hours surpassing game records for years and years, as this is only a true contribution to society and enlightenment that, this fellow, Daniel, would do us all the favor to gratify our disbelief with such records! One minute and twenty eight seconds? Oh, jesus! Although I'm getting flaccid just discussing it, you know the silly bloke secretly did us all a favor! Oh, and sex addicts? See how cured they are after five minutes of Pitfall.

  2. Hmmm... by SimpleBinary · · Score: 0, Troll

    I wonder how many girls he declined to go out with on a date to accomplish this tremendous feat?? Oh, that's right, I'm sure no girl has ever asked him out on a date.

    --
    ...am I supposed to put something here?
  3. Re:My personal hell revisited. . . by Fantastic+Lad · · Score: -1, Troll
    Wow. I sure touched a nerve or two there with this one! Usually I do that on purpose, but this is just weird. Anyway, whenever that happens for no good reason, I repost the offending item. --Which contains, please note, only my personal views as pertain to just me and contains absolutely no judgement about others. If you like playing Pitfall, then play pitfall. I'm just sharing my experiences.

    And so, the post which was modded into troll dust is as follows. . .

    When I was a kid, video games looked shiny and amazing, because the technology was new. This made them exciting. Now they are old, and I realize just how dated everything looks and feels.

    With the technology having moved on, I find those old games incredibly boring; I see them for what they really are; just lights on a screen you move around. How pointless. How dull. Interestingly, after accessing this part of my perception, I find it maps easily enough into the present; even new video games seem like elaborate excuses to move little lights around on a screen for no good reason. And that got old when I was a teen-ager.

    Today, even the most up-to-date games look screamingly dull and uninteresting to me. (--Especially the driving and sports games, which I find dull and mechanical in real life!) Video games are all Spy Hunter, Doom and Pac Man to me these days. Cute once, but now go away please. You are dull. I'd rather eat my own eyes than play any more of it for more than ten seconds.

    And Pitfall? For goodness sake. If I were one of the guys still playing Pitfall, I'd desperately try to reboot my brain for fear of being stuck in a zero-sum loop. My personal hell is having to play Pitfall.

    Cheers!


    -FL