Canadian Scientists Regrow Teeth
54mc writes "APL reports that Canadian Scientists have created the first device able to regrow teeth and bones.
The researchers at the University of Alberta in Edmonton filed patents earlier this month in the United States for the tool based on low-intensity pulsed ultrasound technology after testing it on a dozen dental patients in Canada."
I didn't believe in the tooth fairy until I saw my dentist in loafers.
So if you are out there, Mr. Dentist man, you can now officially BITE ME!
This was a 2 phase discovery:
:)
Phase 1 - Invent a sport where a piece of equipment that, at times, travels towards your face at 160 km/hour and weighs only 170 grams.
Phase 2 - Invent a way to grow teeth back due to resulting injury from Phase 1
It's a Canadian make-work program
- - - "Some people hate the English. I don't. They're just wankers. We, on the other hand, are colonized by wankers."
This notice hereby notifies you, Tooth Fairy that you are hereby no longer needed as your job has been outsourced to Canada. We hope you will find our severance package of 6 months teeth as well as full dental to be more than generous. Also note that you are hereby banned from acting in the capacity of ortho-collector for a period of 8 years, and any attmpt to circumvent this will lead to a termination of the aforementioned benefits.
-The Management
Lord know Canada is a great place to research tooth replacement, considering that Maine is so close by! We could really use some of that stuff down here!
Gramps is getting sick of eating through a straw.
As a rule, I never trust dark brown ketchup.
.. test this on other body parts. Just sayin.
I suggest Dog the Bounty Hunter sign up ASAP.
"Canadian Scientists Regrow Teeth"
A group of Canadian scientists in the age from 4 to 10 has successfully regrown their teeth after they mysteriously lost them.
Thee ma ?
I thold you bruthing your theeth wath fo thuckerth !
Wanna fight ? Bend over, stick your head up your ass, and fight for air.
What with all those hockey players losing teeth. It was either there or Kentucky where people also don't have teeth. Interestingly that's where the toothbrush was invented. Otherwise it would have been called the teethbrush.
Thanks, I'll be here all week, enjoy the veal.
(Disclaimer: I am a Kentuckian)
once you start you'll have to have all your front/visible teeth done, even if they are just discoloured.
Or you could just, you know, brush them..... Oh wait.
May the Maths Be with you!
until they prove it on these (currently) toothless specimens:
1. The Justice dept. (SCO vs IBM)
2. The anti-trust dept. (MS vs US)
3. Other suggestions welcome...
If you keep throwing chairs, one day you'll break windows....
I don't need no stinkin' "real" teeth. My false teeth are just fine, thank you very much! Hell, I can even eat corn on the cob, if someone cuts it off the cob and then mashes it up into a fine paste!
We can grow teeth now. Next step, growing teeth in places not the mouth.
Now all those nightmares I have about a woman with teeth in her vagina are going to come true.
Thanks a lot Canada!!
Obviously you have a pressing interest in this cutting-edge technology.
"Trolls they were, but filled with the evil will of their master: a fell race..." -- J.R.R. Tolkien on Olog-hai
Thweet!
Innovative and creative approach, and it looks promising. Looks like this one has teeth.
crickets.chirp()
Yes. He's a manager, they can do that.
The American Dental Association has called upon the Canadian Government to put an end to the regrowth of teeth, claiming that the availability of cheap teeth from Canada makes American dentists less interested in improving their techniques.
Said an A.D.A. spokesperson, "We need prices to remain high so that we can afford to innovate. When people can just get new teeth cheaply by just crossing the border, our strangle-ho.... uh, revenue stream will be jeopardized. The U.S. government must act immediately!"
Can the device be controlled via BlueTooth?
No, low frequency ultrasound means they just speak to the jaw gently until they convince it to regrow a new tooth.
It's the canadian way; american scientists would come to the same results by menacing the offending jawbone with a large-caliber pistol and shouting at it.
-- Home is where you eat your heart out.