Downloadable Film Commentaries Becoming Popular?

FilmFan writes "Now that Kevin Smith is offering a downloadable commentary for Clerks 2, will other Directors follow in his footsteps? Some studios think so and are already offering similar content for shows such as Battlestar Galactica, Dr. Who, and Star Trek: Enterprise. Other websites offer fan-created content and even offer a free DVD player capable of playing these downloaded commentaries in sync with a DVD."

Comments

Oh, can't wait.

[sammy baby]

The commentary for Enterprise must have been great.

"We really liked the way the "spreading the goo" scene... uh... brought out the... um..."

"Characters?"

"Yeah! The characters, and their, um... personalities."

"Yeah. It really heightened the dramatic..."

"Drama."

"Or something."

Re:Oh, can't wait.

[MrPsycho]

At least its not: "Here's a scene where we.. um, intended Leonard to show us some emotion" "Yeah, but Shatner stole it" "Again"

Re:Oh, can't wait.

[Russ Steffen]

You think that's bad, check out some of the commentary from the DVD....

Director 1 : (snoring)

Director 2 : (snoring)

Recording Tech: Are you guys going to do some commentary, or just sleep out the rest of the episode?

D1: *wakes up* What?

D2: *wakes up" Where am I?

RT: You're recording comentary for "Enterprise", Season 4, Episode 11, titled "Observer Effect"

D2: Hey, are like one of those super-nerd fans that has every episode memorized?

RT: No. I've got it written on a fucking sticky-note so that there's at least a chance it will end up attached to the right episode on the DVD. No one - and I mean no one - has your show memorized.

D2: (Dejected) Oh

D1: Wait, so what was happening before we nodded off?

RT: Well, we got through the opening credits okay.

D1: Excellent.

RT: Then 3 minutes into act 1 you both got bored and wandered out to the parking lot and played hacky-sack for a while. Then you came back in here and slept for 20 minutes.

D1: Hmmm.

RT: I kept the audio track rolling the whole time.

D2: Really? Why?

RT: Frankly, the snoring was the most interesting thing I've heard come out of either of you.

D1: Can I have you fired?

RT: No. I don't work for you. And besides, I'm in The Union. I could piss in your coffee and all my boss could do is come in here and give me a stern look.

D1: Odd that he's standing right next to you, giving you a stern look right now...

D2: (distant slurp) Hey, does this coffee taste funny to anyone else?

RT: Okay guys, we've got 3 minutes left in this episode. Either of you want to share any of your "razor wit" before we put this one in the can?

D1: Yeah I got something to add.

(Clears throat)

At this point in the show I had the writing process nailed down to a science. It used to be that writers for Star Trek would use a little placeholder word, "tech," which would be filled in with other words, like "anomaly" or "photon torpedo", by the production staff.

I went one step further. I fired all the writers and replaced them chimps. Chimps chained to typewriters. And those typewriters, had just two keys - "dialog" and "tech".

And those chimps produced page after page of glorious manuscripts. They were like two-note symphonies of "dialog" and "tech". And those chimps did all of this for me out respect for my talent as a director. And fear of getting hit with a cattle prod. But mostly respect. And fear.

So I would take these manuscripts and I'd have them sent off to some third-world country where 8 year old children, who spoke not a word of English, would slave away 20 hours a day in squalid and dangerous conditions to replace those "dialog" and "tech" placeholders with the dialog you hear in the show.

D2: And the quality of that process really shows in the finished product.

RT: Why, exactly are child labor and "squalid and dangerous" conditions necessary for this?

D1: You have to suffer to produce great art!

(contemplates)

Anyway, someone has to suffer for my art.

RT: Well, we are all suffering because of your art.

D1: Yes, well. The streamlining of this process really helped me manage my time. I'm a very busy man.

D2: Why don't you tell us all what keeps you so busy.

D1: Ah yes. You see, I'm destroying science fiction. I buy the original master prints of classic science fiction films, and then I burn them.

D2: You burn them?

D1: Yes. Sometimes I shit on them first. But mostly I just burn them.

In fact, while filming this episode I spent most of my time on the Paramount backlot burning the last master copy of "2001: A Space Odyssey".

Actually, I didn't burn the whole copy, though. The makeup for the alien in this episode is made from little fragments of the famous "Starchild" scene. It gives the eyebrow ridges a

Re:Oh, can't wait.

[HexRei]

wow, did you steal this, write it previously in preparation, or just have THIS MUCH TIME on your hands?

In any case, its pretty fuckin funny :)