Slashdot Mirror
How The Internet Works - With Tubes
Chardish writes "In an attempt to explain his reasons for voting against a Net Neutrality bill this past Thursday, Alaska Senator Ted Stevens delivered a jaw-dropping attempt to explain how the Internet works. Said Stevens: 'They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the internet. And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes. And if you don't understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.'"
Well, that explains why Google is giving so much room in their inboxes. You just never know when you might receive an internet or two. Next thing you know, you'll be getting whole spam internets.
in my country we use transistors ....
And also, by "an internet was sent by my staff" I assume he means an email. Since when does it take days for an email to arrive? It's nutters! I'll say it again, who the fuck votes for these guys????
Stevens made this speech DAYS ago -- yet it's just getting to slashdot TODAY???? Those damned tubes must be clogged again!
I mean, I can see why a politician can't express himself in a way to be understandable, but as far as I get it it is:
Without net neutrality, the internet goes down the tubes.
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
People that disconnected from peers should be beaten with a broken pipe. He's not the only one with metaphors.
It is no longer uncommon to be uncommon.
"The sad part here is that this guy feels qualified to stand up and lecture everyone"
Sounds exactly like Slashdot, wouldn't you say?
...do not welcome our old clueless overlords...
Show some respect!
... ... oh shit.
The man is the President Pro Tempore. If the President, Vice President and Speaker of the House die... he becomes President of the United States.
It is no longer uncommon to be uncommon.
Hahahahahaha! Aha! Ha! Oh man! *wipes away tear*
qntm.org
That explains why it took so long to turn up in his inbox too. Doesn't he realise that Internets are fucking huge.
No wonder his tubes got all clogged up.
"Proudly Posting Without Reading The Article"
It's one of the magic tubes inside your car engine. When put your foot on the gas or the brake, you send a transmission across the engine (the transmission is another tube). See, the engine is not the sort of thing you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes. And if you don't understand how those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your 'transmission' in, it gets in line and is going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material, like for example listening to pirated music on your car stereo.
I just the other day got, a brake transmission was sent by me at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday, and I just slowed down yesterday. Why? Because I was listening to music I'd gotten from Kazaa at the time. The problem is, I was braking the transmission because there was a truck stopped in front of me. Because the transmission was slowed by enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material (pirated music), my piston tubes never got the signal in time. And a truck is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes. And if you don't understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.
Long story short, there was a horrible crash, a big explosion, and I was fatally killed. You see, a person isn't something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes. And if you don't understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material. In the end, though, all the material left my pipes as a result of the explosion. This is what happens if you don't regulate the flow of material through those pipes properly.
And that is why I voted against road neutrality.
Good point.
I think I'll send him an internet right now.
Gore did have an understanding of how the Internet worked, he made it his business to be informed on relevant subjects when he was a congresscritter.
Those facts and their damn liberal bias! You aren't being truthy!
When information is power, privacy is freedom.
You're right - this is downright lunacy. This is tantamount to letting one of us make rules about 'going outside' or 'kissing girls'.
Glonoinha the MebiByte Slayer
Or, in the case of Diebold voting machines: "yes: +1" and "no: +2"
'Yes, firefox is indeed greater than women. Can women block pops up for you? No. Can Firefox show you naked women? Yes.'