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Gamer's Kryptonite

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the truly-bad-gaming dept.

1up has a feature, in honor of the excellent Superman Returns, discussing the unfortunate history of Superman licensed games across the many consoles. The worst is, of course, Superman 64. From the article: "Superman 64 isn't completely without redeeming features. It serves as an invaluable object lesson in how not to make a videogame. Try to build your characters with more than three polygons. Do not pad out your game by forcing players to fly through rings at two miles an hour in between each stage. Do not make your superheroes less physically imposing than a one-legged, asthmatic kitten with a concussion."

6 of 72 comments (clear)

  1. The problem by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    The problem with Superman games isn't with the developers. I mean, he's Superman. How do you make the game a challenge without giving everyone Kryptonite rings? He's got strength, laser eyes, freezing breath, and speed.

    Game plot:
    Superman hears there's a criminal planning to do something. Instead of taking out all of the henchmen along the way, he flies quickly past them to the boss and knocks him unconscious with one punch, then taking the villian to jail.

    Roll Credits.

    That's what Superman is like.

    1. Re:The problem by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      I think the example the developers gave was that there is simultaneously a burning building with people who have to be rescued and some giant robot tearing up downtown. What do you do? The answer in the game is that you pick up a fire engine and zip it over to the burning building and let them deal with a problem they can handle while you go off and sort out the giant robot.

      Man, Supes is dumb. The right way to deal with this is to reprogram the giant robot to fight fires.

  2. Gamer's Kryptonite? by Ant+P. · · Score: 5, Funny

    I always thought that was sunlight.

    1. Re:Gamer's Kryptonite? by Gertlex · · Score: 3, Funny
      I always thought that was sunlight.


      Absolutely, but more importantly, what's Jack Thompson's kryptonite?
    2. Re:Gamer's Kryptonite? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Logic?

  3. Re:Wow.... by geminidomino · · Score: 2, Funny

    If that's not considered a terrorist action, it should be.