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Millions of King Crabs Turn Sea to Desert
Reporter writes "Russian biologist, Yuri Illarionovich Orlov, succeeded where Stalin failed by implanting the red king crabs into the Barents Sea. Except now, 40 years later, he's getting worried. Why? The giant crabs are clawing their way along the bottom of the Barents Sea are spreading like wildfire along the northern coasts of Russia and Norway and will continue to spread as far as Gibraltar, the southern tip of the European continent. How come? One female crab can lay 500,000 eggs at a time, of which one or two percent will become crabs. The kicker is that the species is protected by diplomatic accords between Norway and Russia, so fishing quotas are in place.
From the article: "The Kamchatka crab, also known as the Alaskan or red king crab, was introduced into the Barents by the Soviets in the 1960s — some 30 years after a first, failed attempt by Stalin — in a bid to bolster Russia's food supplies. ... The crabs weigh up to 12 kilograms (26 pounds) and measure up to two meters (6.5 feet) from pincher to pincher. While they remain far from Europe's tourist beaches for the time being, their impact on the environment is already a major cause for concern in the Arctic"."
And it involves lot of butter ...
I know that it is controversial with some dieticians, but I have had great success in keeping off the weight with the low-crab diet.
Russia has a raging case of crabs!
http://blindscribblings.com - Tasty pop-culture in conceptual fashion.
They should take a cue from Ancient Japan and flip them over and attack its weak point for MASSIVE DAMAGE.
I guess the guy was selling them weapons to kill all the sealife!
Yuri Orlov is the guy from Lord Of War
-- Sig: What sig? Oh, you mean this one? Nah...
Nuke them from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
Life is just nature's way of keeping meat fresh.
In Soviet Russia, crabs get you.
Obama likes poor people so much, he wants to make more of them.
But what happens if the radiation forces a jump in evolution and they evolve into crabzilla or *shudder* politicians?
Fighting over religion is like seeing whose imaginary friend is best.
Nah, they just need a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on crab meat.
Bogtha Bogtha Bogtha
But Marine Biologists are Nerds too! ...or at the very least, I'm a Nerdy Marine Biologist you insensitive clod!
-Queen of the Kung-Fu fairies
What about nerdy marine biologists, you insensitive clod!
Oolite: Elite-like game. For Mac, Linux and Windows
I'm completely in favor of aquatic gorillas.
"Quoting yourself is stupid." -Me
"How will I ever get rid of my male jelly now?"
Well, someone had to say it!
Orationem pulchram non habens, scribo ista linea in lingua Latina
Watch your B-Movies! It will immediately become obvious that nuking them would be a surefire way to breed the ultimate super-crab that eats us all!
No wait. For that to work, I think it would have to happen in the Japanese Sea...
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
The crabs weigh up to 12 kilograms (26 pounds) and measure up to two meters (6.5 feet) from pincher to pincher.
-and this increases every time the story is told.
sudo ergo sum
Corrected: Millions of king crabs turn sea to dessert
Aren't these the same crabs that make rich men out of entire crews who risk their lives working on fishing boats in Alaska?
At my local grocer, I can buy a pound of king crab when it's on sale for around $20. I figure a 55 gallon barrel of these guys would weigh close to 500 pounds. Barrel of Sweet Light Crude goes for about $70. Barrel of Sweet Light Crab goes for $10,000. Hmmm... Is there some secret crab cartel, the Alaskan subsidiary of DeBeers, or maybe the Illuminati, arti-fish-ally controlling the market of my favorite crustacean?
Moderation in All Things... Especially Moderation - gurutc
Today's secret ingredient is: *dramatic pause* *dramatic pose* CRAB INFESTATION!
It was a joke! When you give me that look it was a joke.
Would that violate UN sanctions against the use of Weapons for Mass Crustaceans (WMCs)?
Oh, you meant the *other* PETA. People for Eating Tasty Animals are a happier lot.
So what do the other 98% of the eggs become, if not crabs?
Jesus. We want to wipe out the crabs, not the Russians and Norwegians.
Don't knock the Australian rabbit plague. Got rid of all that damned Trix cereal, yes it did.
Where were you when the voynix came?
For those who don't get the reference:
Skinner: Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.
Lisa: But isn't that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we're overrun by lizards?
Skinner: No problem. We simply release wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.
Lisa: But aren't the snakes even worse?
Skinner: Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.
Lisa: But then we're stuck with gorillas!
Skinner: No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.
"...today consumers have been conditioned to think of beer when they see a bullfrog..."
Lower the quotas, bring in a Red Lobster chain in Russia and Norway and problem solved. I hope.
Which shows the inevitable logic of environmental degredation, in which, like the old woman who swallowed a fly, every solution is a problem in its own right.
To wit:
(1) Introduce massive crabs to artic as food source.
(2) Get overrun by crabs, and introduce an American food chain to, in effect, predate on them.
(3) Demand for butter soars, bringing into the market additional dairy farm capabilities (which have environmental impacts in their own right).
(4) Increase in butterfat consumption results in a raging epidemic of obesity.
(5) Obesity epidemic leads to SUVs, lowered capacity on transportation like planes
(6) Larger, lower capacity vehicles cause energy consumption to soar.
(7) Rising energy prices lead to increased exploitation of arctic energy reserves.
(8) Environmental impact from petroleum extraction finally solves the King Crab problem, but you're still left with a fat, butter scarfing populace.
Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
Now now, we cant be throwing food away!!
...crab crab crab egg and crab; crab crab crab crab crab crab baked ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a
Man (to Waitress): Morning!
Waitress (In drag as a bit of a rat-bag): Morning!
Man: Well, what've you got?
Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and crab;
egg bacon and crab; egg bacon sausage and crab; crab bacon sausage
and crab; crab egg crab crab bacon and crab; crab sausage crab crab
bacon crab tomato and crab;
Vikings (starting to chant): Crab crab crab crab...
Waitress:
beans crab crab crab...
Vikings (singing): Crab! Lovely crab! Lovely crab!
Waitress:
Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with
truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and crab.
Wife: Have you got anything without crab?
Waitress: Well, there's crab egg sausage and crab, that's not got much crab in
it.
Wife: I don't want ANY crab!
Man: Why can't she have egg bacon crab and sausage?
Wife: THAT'S got crab in it!
Man: Hasn't got as much crab in it as crab egg sausage and crab, has it?
Vikings: Crab crab crab crab (crescendo through next few lines)
Wife: Could you do the egg bacon crab and sausage without the crab then?
Waitress: Urgghh!
Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like crab!
Vikings: Lovely crab! Wonderful crab!)
Waitress: Shut up!
Vikings: Lovely crab! Wonderful crab!
Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon
crab and sausage without the crab.
Wife (shrieks): I don't like crab!
Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your crab. I love it.
I'm having crab crab crab crab crab crab crab beaked beans crab crab
crab and crab!
Vikings (singing): Crab crab crab crab. Lovely crab! Wonderful crab!
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man: Well could I have her crab instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress: You mean crab crab crab crab crab crab... (but it is too late and
the Vikings drown her words)
Vikings (singing elaborately): Crab crab crab crab. Lovely crab! Wonderful
crab! Crab craa-a-a-a-a-ab crab cra-a-a-a-a-ab crab. Lovely crab!
Lovely crab! Lovely crab! Lovely crab! Lovely crab! Crab crab
crab crab!
Sig cannot be found.
CRABS on a PLANE !!!!!
CRABS on a PLANE !!!!!
CRABS on a PLANE !!!!!
No nutria. Just beef, pork, chicken, turkey, and seafood.
I get hungry when I visit the zoo. Tasting is prohibited I think.