Slashdot Mirror
Millions of King Crabs Turn Sea to Desert
Reporter writes "Russian biologist, Yuri Illarionovich Orlov, succeeded where Stalin failed by implanting the red king crabs into the Barents Sea. Except now, 40 years later, he's getting worried. Why? The giant crabs are clawing their way along the bottom of the Barents Sea are spreading like wildfire along the northern coasts of Russia and Norway and will continue to spread as far as Gibraltar, the southern tip of the European continent. How come? One female crab can lay 500,000 eggs at a time, of which one or two percent will become crabs. The kicker is that the species is protected by diplomatic accords between Norway and Russia, so fishing quotas are in place.
From the article: "The Kamchatka crab, also known as the Alaskan or red king crab, was introduced into the Barents by the Soviets in the 1960s — some 30 years after a first, failed attempt by Stalin — in a bid to bolster Russia's food supplies. ... The crabs weigh up to 12 kilograms (26 pounds) and measure up to two meters (6.5 feet) from pincher to pincher. While they remain far from Europe's tourist beaches for the time being, their impact on the environment is already a major cause for concern in the Arctic"."
And it involves lot of butter ...
I know that it is controversial with some dieticians, but I have had great success in keeping off the weight with the low-crab diet.
I guess the guy was selling them weapons to kill all the sealife!
Yuri Orlov is the guy from Lord Of War
-- Sig: What sig? Oh, you mean this one? Nah...
In Soviet Russia, crabs get you.
Obama likes poor people so much, he wants to make more of them.
Oh, you meant the *other* PETA. People for Eating Tasty Animals are a happier lot.
Jesus. We want to wipe out the crabs, not the Russians and Norwegians.
For those who don't get the reference:
Skinner: Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.
Lisa: But isn't that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we're overrun by lizards?
Skinner: No problem. We simply release wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.
Lisa: But aren't the snakes even worse?
Skinner: Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.
Lisa: But then we're stuck with gorillas!
Skinner: No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.
"...today consumers have been conditioned to think of beer when they see a bullfrog..."
Lower the quotas, bring in a Red Lobster chain in Russia and Norway and problem solved. I hope.
Which shows the inevitable logic of environmental degredation, in which, like the old woman who swallowed a fly, every solution is a problem in its own right.
To wit:
(1) Introduce massive crabs to artic as food source.
(2) Get overrun by crabs, and introduce an American food chain to, in effect, predate on them.
(3) Demand for butter soars, bringing into the market additional dairy farm capabilities (which have environmental impacts in their own right).
(4) Increase in butterfat consumption results in a raging epidemic of obesity.
(5) Obesity epidemic leads to SUVs, lowered capacity on transportation like planes
(6) Larger, lower capacity vehicles cause energy consumption to soar.
(7) Rising energy prices lead to increased exploitation of arctic energy reserves.
(8) Environmental impact from petroleum extraction finally solves the King Crab problem, but you're still left with a fat, butter scarfing populace.
Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.